arpaio

Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

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It is sometime in the near future.

Laws have been set in motion to protect the American Homeland. Your freedom and sanity are at stake. Oh, and your jobs.

I forgot about your jobs. And your beautifully domesticated wives and children. You pay your taxes, yet you feel one-upped. Lied to. I know. I have a mortgage and a timeshare I haven’t paid in months. Meanwhile our lazy neighbors to the south consume our resources. But there’s no need to fear. No longer do we have to sit in Victoria’s Secret as our wives are gawked at by gang-banging border hoppers. No. Victoria is just beyond the horizon. And one man risks it all in his comfy radio studio located somewhere in the Arizona desert.

That man is Lance Liberty for 101.3 Honest Radio. Take it away, Lance…

Mas…Xican@ Space Odyssey: Lance Liberty reports for 101.3 Honest Radio

Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

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It was the best of ñewsweeks, it was the worst of ñewsweeks. It was a week of wisdom, it was a week of foolishness.

  • The Best: On HBO, George Lopez told Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio WTF he really thinks of him and the offended officer challenged the comic to a face-to-face discussion of the issues.
  • The Worst: The Aurora shooting raised a bat signal for gun control.

We’ve got the uncensored Lopez/Arpaio videos, the Lalo Alcaraz ‘Dark Knight’ cartoon that went viral and Comic-Con photos you won’t see anywhere else.

But wait, there’s more!

Mas…Ñewsweek: Lopez vs Arpaio, ‘Dark Knight’ toon and Comic-Con pics

Andy Griffith, ‘America’s Sheriff’ dies, AZ Sheriff Arpaio tragically lives

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Beloved acting legend Andy Griffith, known for his starring role as the sheriff on The Andy Griffith Show and later on the long-running series Matlock, died Tuesday and was buried yesterday in North Carolina. Tragically, Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio is still clinging to life.

Bill Douters of the Dare County, NC Coroner’s Office confirmed the 86-year-old’s death:

God has taken Andy Griffith, one of our most beloved actors, and residents, but yet He spared the brutal and racist animal Sheriff Joe Arpaio?

The Sheriff of Maricopa County, AZ, Arpaio is 80 years old, and is, sadly, in good health.

Mas…Andy Griffith, ‘America’s Sheriff’ dies, AZ Sheriff Arpaio tragically lives

Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand

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(PNS reporting from BOCADECACA, AZ) Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arapio is launching his own brand of tequila, Arpaio Viejo, he told random diners at Gallego’s Mexican Cafe here yesterday.

“I demand high standards for my office and my tequila,” Arpaio told the restaurant full of retirees from states that aren’t Arizona. “I was dissatisfied with the other options on the market, and at my favorite Mexican restaurant, so I decided to create my own.”

Arpaio’s brand will offer the traditional tequila styles of  añejo, plata, and reposado — but that’s not all.

“Later in the year we introduce my super-premium line, called Arpaio Viejo 1070, aged 10 years in mesquite wood barrels in the desert, and then wrapped in pink chonies for seven more years of additional tempering.  You know it’s ready to drink when you pull the cork and instead of breathing, it whimpers.” Arpaio said.

Mas…Arizona’s Sheriff Joe Arpaio launches own tequila brand

Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM

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Happy End of Slavery Day. Enjoy your new shackles!

Arizona’s notorious Sheriff Joe Arpaio tried to save his flailing career with an arrest of a six-year-old cartel leader, GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney totally tripped over his tootsies again, the Nutmeg State joined the future for lonche with the approval of Medical Menudo (MM),  Adidas stepped in it big time with their slavery-themed sneakers and Facebook gave everyone a new finger.

These POCHO stories broke the news this week. We’ve got the links and more:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Joe vs girl, Mitt vs you, Adidas steps in it, CT OKs MM

Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Pocho Ocho unsolved mysteries

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Now that  Sheriff Joe Arpaio has evidence there’s something uppity with Pres. Barack Obama’s birth certificate, what’s next on his unsolved mysteries list?

8.  Star Trek crewmen in red shirts who die early in the episode are also wearing pink chonies, but the Liberal Hollywood Establishment covers this up.

7. Every time you install a solar energy panel, a Texas oilman dies.

6.  Wonder Bread actually builds bodies in 11 different ways but they won’t tell you that because those people want you to eat bread with stuff in it, like grains.

Mas…Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Pocho Ocho unsolved mysteries

Meet the Latinos who love Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio

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On Sunday, newsman Jorge Ramos confronted Sheriff Joe Arpaio on Univision’s Al Punto and told Joe he was the face of racism to U.S. Latinos.

The much-maligned Maricopa County cop wouldn’t have any of that. “How do you know they don’t like me?” he asked. “They love me!”

It’s really true, because we found a lot of Latino love for Sheriff Joe Arpaio everywhere we asked.

Mas…Meet the Latinos who love Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio

Pocho Ocho words we should banish in 2012

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8. Anchor baby (noun) – Wait- this is an anti-Latino slur? FAIL. Seriously, this just makes us picture an infant so cute and fat we could use it for a boat anchor. Just chuck it in – kerPLOP! – you can drift and chug Coronas all afternoon. Do better, wingnuts.

7.  Arpaio (proper noun) – Actually, we’d just like to banish this one from the government payroll, strip it down to its pink underwear and let it play where’s-the-soap for 99 to life.

Mas…Pocho Ocho words we should banish in 2012

The Week in Ñews: Iowa analysis, death by chihuahua, looking ‘Mexican’

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By Julio Salgado

Hatred of the poor edged out racism and homophobia in the Iowa GOP caucuses, a Fresno man was mauled by chihuahuas and died of shame, and the attempt to repeal the California Dream Act failed when the referendum’s backer (photo, right) couldn’t score enough racist jerkwad signatures to get their scheme placed on the ballot.

For these Pochostan stories and more, click here:

Mas…The Week in Ñews: Iowa analysis, death by chihuahua, looking ‘Mexican’

Razaphobic AZ judge just says ‘nein’ to Mexican-American Studies

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Arizona has made it illegal to be brown in their state, now that a judge has ruled that it is illegal to think brown.

Tucson Unified School District’s Mexican-American Studies Department has lost an appeal before a Razaphobic judge and faces the complete dismantling of their academic program. Mexican-American Studies educates brown and non-brown children, but the main problem to Superintendent John Huppenthal is that brown children come out smarter and empowered after taking MAS courses.

Arizona state school officials violate the educational rights of brown children while Sheriff Joe Arpaio allows the violation of brown children.

Cue the banjos!