Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday 2017

It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone X — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday 2017

‘Highland Park’: Binge-watch all the episodes right here! (NSFW videos)


Have you been watching Highland Park on the YouTube? We’ve got all the episodes right here for your binge-watching convenience. You can start with this trailer (above), or dive right in (below). [NSFW. Adult situations, language.]

In Episode 1, Los Angeles locals Juanita and Diego had a holy vision in Highland Park. Who knew Tonantzin, Aztec mother goddess, had a cousin named Concepción?

Mas…‘Highland Park’: Binge-watch all the episodes right here! (NSFW videos)

No peas, no chance! This Christmas we’re serving KaleMole (photo)

At Stew Leonard’s, guacamole is its own ingredient — just add kale!

This the beginning of the end of the American middle class.

Chunky Guacamole

Stew’s Chunky Guacamole is prepared fresh daily by our culinary team with whole avocados, tomatoes, red onions, jalapeno peppers, a dash of salt, and a splash of freshly squeezed lime juice…. Plus, new for 2015, is Stew’s Kalemole, which is the addition of shredded kale to our traditional Chunky Guacamole!

Wine Pairing: Alto Vuelo Sauvignon Blanc — The citrusy, grapefruit component of this wine will pair nicely with the tangy, creaminess of the Guacamole and or the Kale Guacamole

PREVIOUSLY ON EXOTIC GUACAMOLE:

Mas…No peas, no chance! This Christmas we’re serving KaleMole (photo)

SPONSORED: Take the worry out of gentrification – with GENTRÍFIA®

Gentrification is TERRIFIC with GENTRÍFIA®!

“I used to worry about gentrification squeezing out local businesses,” says Monica Galvanes of Eagle Rock, a Los Angeles neighborhood in transition. “And then I heard about GENTRÍFIA®. Now I don’t give a shit!”

Her reaction explains the great success of GENTRÍFIA®, according to its manufacturer, STFU PHARMA.

Carlos Robles up in the East Bay is also enthusiastic:

Mas…SPONSORED: Take the worry out of gentrification – with GENTRÍFIA®

Ask A Mexican: Here’s an idea – Learn to love hipsters (NSFW video)


In between the Mexican curse words, Gustavo Arellano has a modest proposal: Learn to love your local hipster and/or chipster. We’re still trying to figure out what and who ¡Asked A Mexican! That cartoon, though! [NSFW adult language.]

CHIPSTERS?

Are you a Chipster (Chicano + hipster)? There are Pocho Ocho ways to tell. You might be a Chipster if…

Mas…Ask A Mexican: Here’s an idea – Learn to love hipsters (NSFW video)

‘What Is Hip?’ Tower of Power and Carlos Santana (video, lyrics)


We borrowed the title of this Tower of Power mega-hit for POCHO Jefe Lalo Alcaraz’ toon about San Francisco hipsters so it’s only fair we show our true love for the Bay Area in general and TOP in particular.

Check out TOP’s performance of What Is Hip? live at the Montreux Jazz Festival in 2006 (with guest star Carlos Santana.)

By the way, these are some hip lyrics:

So you want to jump out your trick bag
And ease on into a hip bag
But you ain’t just exactly sure what’s hip
So you start to let your hair grow
Spend big bucks to cop you a wardrobe
But somehow you know there’s much more to the trip

Mas…‘What Is Hip?’ Tower of Power and Carlos Santana (video, lyrics)

Columbus-ing: Gringos discovering ‘new’ things that aren’t new (video)


QUESTION: What do you call it when white hipsters “discover” new things that aren’t new?
ANSWER: Columbus-ing.

Wait.

What do you call it when College Humor dot com, who just released this ^^^^ video, discovers a June 6 La Cucaracha toon by POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz?

cucacolumbus

PREVIOUSLY ON DISCOVERIES:

Mas…Columbus-ing: Gringos discovering ‘new’ things that aren’t new (video)

Pocho Ocho ‘things educated Chicanos like’

salmahaeykWe found this blog called Stuff Educated Chicanos Like | Information on those kids from Aztlan and it’s like it was conceived and written about us here at Pocho, but no.

The blog started in 2008 and hasn’t been updated since 2011, but it still makes us LOL.

(We stole just eight headlines from the original 23 entries for this Pocho Ocho list, so you’ll have to read this post and find the link at the end for the extensive original story.)

¡Mira! Pocho Ocho things educated Chicanos like, with links to POCHO examples:

8. Salma Hayek

Mas…Pocho Ocho ‘things educated Chicanos like’

[Chamber music for chipsters] Dorian Wood: ‘La Cara Infinita’ (video)


Dorian Wood is a Los Angeles-based avant garde (“alternative” is not a big enough word) composer and performer who publishes his own compositions via a company called Why Are You Doing This Music which maybe gives you a hint of what to expect from his self-produced album Rattle Rattle. This version of the Echo Park homie’s original song La Cara Infinta (on the album) was recorded live on July 5 at the MorYork Gallery in L.A. That’s Ms. Eddika Organista on guest vocals. Just wow.

You want more, right? Here’s the complete audio for Rattle Rattle:

Mas…[Chamber music for chipsters] Dorian Wood: ‘La Cara Infinita’ (video)