Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s State of the Union gave us a sad

barackonDespite the his many significant accomplishments and chingon new proposals, we were disappointed by what President Obama didn’t say at Tuesday night’s State of the Union address.

Here are the Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s SOTU gave us a sad:

8. Still no federal funding for Flying Trocas research.

7. Didn’t announce plan to make Ted Cruz first U.S. ambassador to Cuba.

6. No tax cuts for tamale entrepreneurs, thus no Pedro Herrera III in the audience to give a shout out to.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons Obama’s State of the Union gave us a sad

Pete Seeger, audience sing ‘Guantanamera’ in Spanish (video)


The late Pete Seeger always got everyone in the audience to sing along for Guantanamera — in Spanish. (Editor’s Note: That’s why they call it folk music. It’s music you sing, not just music you hear.)

Wikipedia:

Seeger [‘s] intention [was] that [Guantanamera] be used by the peace movement at the time of the Cuban missile crisis. He urged that people sing the song as a symbol of unity between the American and Cuban peoples, and called for it to be sung in Spanish to “hasten the day [that] the USA… is some sort of bilingual country.”

RIP.

Cuban Reds say Raul Castro-Obama handshake betrayed Revolution


(PNS reporting from HAVANA) El Presidente Comrade Raul Castro’s handshake with imperialist war criminal Barack Obama at the Nelson Mandela memorial service in South Africa was a slap in the face of the workers of the world and a betrayal of Cuba’s Communist Revolution, an old school Communist Bay of Pigs veteran charged Tuesday.

“That handshake marks a Day That Will Live in Infamy,” Ernesto “Little Che” Altacaca, 76, told everyone hanging out at People’s Barbershop #245 on Calle de Los Cadres. “It is like the Hitler-Stalin nonaggression pact (photo, below) combined with a very special episode of Chico and the Man.

“Did El Presidente demand the Yanqui perro return Guantanamo?” the long-time area resident asked. “No! Did he demand an end to the embargo that has penalized the people for half a century? Nyet! Did he insist Obama recognize the workers’ rights to self determination without capitalist exploitation and immediately send six dozen complete gasket sets for 1954 Chrysler New Yorkers? No way! And what about Pete Seeger remitting that record business royalty money for the song he stole from the poor people of Guantanamera?”

Mas…Cuban Reds say Raul Castro-Obama handshake betrayed Revolution

Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA

balserosweb(PNS reporting from FLORIDA) Diana Nyad walked onshore here Monday, becoming the first person to swim from Cuba towing 400 escaping balseros. The 64-year-old Nyad swam up to the beach just before 2PM EDT, about 53 hours after she began her journey in Havana.

As she approached, spectators waded into waist-high water and surrounded the Cuban refugees, and offering them water. “I have three messages. One is, we should never, ever give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dream. Three is, all you Cubans better pay me the smuggling money you owe me.”

“I have to say, I’m a little bit out of it right now,” Nyad said. She gestured toward her swollen lips, and simply said “Cubans.”

Mas…Swimmer Diana Nyad tows 400 balseros from Cuba to USA

Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors


Cuban ballet dancers who recently defected from their troupe in Mexico and now live in Miami are “amazed at how many foods come canned and can be easily heated up in a microwave,” according to the Associated Press.

Canned foods! But wait, there’s mas. Here are the Pocho Ocho other things about the U.S. that also surprised our new island immigrants:

8. Studebaker, DeSoto, Willys and Nash are out of the automobile business

7. America’s most famous Cuban? Mark Cuban

6. Fidel is a sofa bed mogul and Che sells t-shirts

Mas…Pocho Ocho things about the USA that surprise Cuban defectors

Elise Roedenbeck’s ‘MiJA Weekly’ Tax Day Espectacular 4.15.13 (video)


Happy Tax Day, pochos! This week on MiJA I discuss the near conclusion of back-room negotiations on immigration “reform” and delve deep into the heart of the Internets to discover Barbies of the World. You think Mexican Barbie is bad — Peruvian Barbie comes with an anchor baby (and she’s not the worst of them!)

Mas…Elise Roedenbeck’s ‘MiJA Weekly’ Tax Day Espectacular 4.15.13 (video)

Surveillance video: Havana car thieves jack sweet Italian ride


It’s hard to make a living as a Communist car thief in the Republic of Cuba; there aren’t many cars worth stealing. But every once in a while a hard-working Marxist-Leninist scores a sweet European import, like this stylin’ Fiat. And don’t worry about hot-wiring the ignition, either, Comrade. From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.

Mas…Surveillance video: Havana car thieves jack sweet Italian ride

Before capitalism cancer kills Hugo Chavez, a look back

Before capitalism cancer kills commie commissar Hugo Chavez and it would be TOO SOON to mock him, here’s a look back at POCHO’s coverage of the Venezuelan jefe:

  • Victorious Hugo Chavez to Americans: ‘Back my socialist amigo Obama’

(PNS reporting from CARACAS) Hugo Chavez — re-elected to a third six-year term as president of Venezuela — has again called on Americans to re-elect Pres. Barack Obama.

In a four-hour televised speech to his nation late Sunday, Chavez called Obama the best hope for Socialism in the Western Hemisphere. The left-wing strong man had previously endorsed the President in September.

“El Obama deserves your support, gringos,” he said in a rare foray into English. “He may not admit to being a Marxist-Leninist but inside he is as red as your Danny Glover and Oliver Estone.” [Continued here…]

Mas…Before capitalism cancer kills Hugo Chavez, a look back

Ñewsweek: Meet Princess Malinche, beat the Gap, Fidel’s not dead

Sofia the First, Disney’s new animated princess is a Latina, hooray! Wait, she’s not a Latina? Well, then who is Disney’s Latina princess? Princess Malinche, you say? Orale!

Another ñewsweek at POCHO meant princesses,  the Gap’s taste in t-shirts, Mitt’s taste in short shorts, Fidel Castro is still not dead, Donald Trump is still a jerk and more.

The links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Meet Princess Malinche, beat the Gap, Fidel’s not dead

Cuba releases photos to show Comrade Fidel is not dead yet

Fidel Castro is still alive, you imperialist running dogs, and we’ve got photos to prove it. That was the message from Cuba’s official Communist Party newspaper Granma this week as rumors swirled that the ailing dictator had suffered a stroke and was incapacitated. Granma published this photo of Fidel on his prison island reading his own Mainstream Media.

But wait, there’s more! Here’s a selection of photos published by Cuban entertainment weekly Che Paso:

Mas…Cuba releases photos to show Comrade Fidel is not dead yet

Miami braces for mass influx as Cuba lifts travel restrictions

(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Restrictions that kept Cubans from fleeing the island for half a century will be lifted, according to the Communist Party Central Committee’s official newspaper, Granma.

And in a candid interview, America’s favorite Latino rebel Fidel Castro was asked how he felt America would respond to the new policy and expected exodus. He replied simply: “Fuck ‘em.”

“As part of the work under way to update the current migratory policy and adjust it to the conditions of the present and the foreseeable future, the Cuban government, in exercise of its sovereignty, has decided to again flood Miami with even more of our people because fuck America. How you like me now, bitches?” Castro told PNS.

Mas…Miami braces for mass influx as Cuba lifts travel restrictions