[More PAYTON HEOGH at Weakly Political.]
What does it mean to be vulnerable? This question comes up quite a bit in comedy. You might hear someone say, “oh, he’s so raw, so vulnerable…” It’s a common form of praise, usually for male comedians.
Former Late Show booker, Eddie Brill, named vulnerability as his favorite quality in a comedian. He seldom, if ever, booked women. Eventually, he was fired for his statements in the now infamous New York Times article. However, the crux of his argument was that good comedians reveal their weaknesses and women just don’t do that.
Currently, the focus is on Hollywood and Harvey Weinstein, who has been accused of harassment, attacks, and/or rape by over 70 women. This evil industry. Hollywood.
No, carnales. Before the Weinstein story broke, Bill Cosby, the sweater-wearing, jello-eating [alleged] rapist, was accused of attacking or raping 41 women. Did we forget about him? To date, he has not been convicted. People still defend him.
(PNS reporting from LATIN AMERICA) Millions of Latin Americans are on vacation this week to celebrate Semana Santa, a festival to commemorate the desecration of the region’s native cultures and the Spaniards’ forceful imposition of Catholicism through celestial acts such as rape, pillage and genocide.
Holy Week, where children are off school and adults binge drink, gives Latin Americans time to reflect upon Jesus Christ’s selfless sacrifice for humanity, despite the fact that 500 years earlier no one on this side of the world had heard of him and worshiped far cooler Gods of the sun, rain and maize. Catholic cathedrals across the region are certain to be packed with Aztec, Mayan and Inca descendants, all to give thanks and praise to a merciful God coerced into their societies by armed, greed-fueled colonialists spreading the heavenly message of El Espíritu Santo.
(PNS reporting from PHILADELPHIA) Bill Cosby disagrees with Donald Trump’s calling Mexican immigrants rapists.
“I know immigrants, and I know rapists. And believe me, Mr. Trump, immigrants are not rapists,” read a statement released here this morning by Cosby attorney Alberto Gordo.
“Hey hey hey!” the lawyer added.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Anna Akana explains how to NOT get raped. [Adult content, F-bomb, NSFW.]
Anthropology researcher Juanita Carmelita Gonzalez and her dog Ari — Juanita is the one in the turquoise stretch pants — walked the streets of Hollywood Monday. You won’t believe what happened next!
PREVIOUSLY ON JUANITA CARMELITA GONZALEZ:
A ground-breaking informercial for a revolutionary anti-rape device — chonies that JUST SAY NO so you don’t have to! [Adult gags. NSFW.]
Antônio Villas Boas reported that the space aliens kidnapped him from a field he was plowing, brought him aboard their UFO/OVNI, stripped him naked and then a female ET raped him. In 1957, this made him a pioneer — way before the Betty and Barney Hill were abducted in New England in 1961. NPR reports:
According to Villas Boas, he was plowing fields with his tractor when he was taken against his will by a group of ETs measuring about 5 feet tall. On their spaceship he was put in a room where he saw some kind of gas come out of the walls, making him sick. Then a very attractive female, naked, with long platinum-blonde hair, fire-red pubic hair and deep-blue cat eyes, came to him and forced him to have intercourse….
Australian comic Aamer Rahman — half of Fear of A Brown Planet — discusses the pitfalls of trying to joke about race, color and ethnicity.
PREVIOUSLY ON MAKING FUN OF WHITE PEOPLE:
I keep thinking about the Steubenville rape case and I can’t get the phrase “What the fuck is wrong with you people?” out of my head.
People aren’t sure who to blame, whether it’s a larger problem that encompasses the parents, the football culture, the entire town. You can chalk it up and say, “Oh they’re just young teens being stupid,” but the truth is, by the time you are 17 you are grown-ass-up enough to know right from wrong.
Arizona hate made POCHO headlines again this week; the Pocho Ocho crew came up with Pro Tips for white-collar Latinos plus eight caveats for goofy gabachos; and while AZ Gov. Jan Brewja haunted POCHO, Jesus Christos El Luchador (who drinks Corona with a lime, btw) made a miraculous appearance.
These big stories broke the ñews on POCHO this week:
Funny former Saturday Night Live comedian Amy Poehler is down for Domestic Workers, and comes clean on something not many in the U.S. will admit:
She could not be the busy actress and mom that she is without her hard-working domestic help.
Poehler’s Public Service Announcement (PSA) is a call to action to petition to California Gov. Jerry Brown get him to sign the California Domestic Worker Bill of Rights. Our moms and tias and abuelas have worked hard for years and deserve humane and equitable treatment afforded to others.
You can support the California Domestic Worker Bill of Rights by calling your state senator and Gov. Brown (916-445-2841) today. To learn mas, please visit www.domesticworkers.org.
Hoping to capitalize on the enormous groundswell of support they’ve generated with their new definitions of life, marriage and assault weapons, the GOP braintrust is planning to premiere a Republican Dictionary at next week’s convention in Tampa, FLA.
We got a brief peek at a draft (the “rape” definition was leaked Monday); check out the Pocho Ocho best definitions:
8. Rape: When a man loves a woman
7. Voting: What white people get to do
6. Minorities: Three-fifths of a person
(PNS reporting from MISSOURI) Rep. (and Senatorial hopeful) Todd Akin (R-MO) intends to write and publish a children’s book that explains to kids how babies are made, according to his staff.
The colorful How Non-Forcible Rape Babies Are Made explains Akin’s understanding of how the human reproductive system works in clear, simple language and bright illustrations especially written for Tea Party Republican voters who approve of his recent comments on rape and pregnancy.
The touchy subject is elucidated in loving and religious detail:
When a rapist loves a mommy, Jesus reaches down from heaven and touches the mommy’s tummy and the miracle of life is created. The end.