Dear Abuelita: Sexting, white-washed Chicana, July 4 fireworks

Dear Abuelita,
What is the deal on “sexting”? Do guys really think a low-res cam-phone photo of their junk will make me swoon with desire?

Take me to a gallery opening or a new artisan bakery or something dick-less, por plis.

If I judged boys by dick pics, my dance card would be filled with Stiff, Vein-y and Ugly. And that means you, Eduardo. Stop it!
Signed, Just an old-fashioned girl, I guess

Dear Old-Fashioned Whiner,
Let’s be honest, we all know you swoon over the low-res cell-cam photos. I’d even bet your cell phone is set on vibrate and kept tucked in your chonies, cochina.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Sexting, white-washed Chicana, July 4 fireworks

The Week in Ñews: Iowa analysis, death by chihuahua, looking ‘Mexican’

By Julio Salgado

Hatred of the poor edged out racism and homophobia in the Iowa GOP caucuses, a Fresno man was mauled by chihuahuas and died of shame, and the attempt to repeal the California Dream Act failed when the referendum’s backer (photo, right) couldn’t score enough racist jerkwad signatures to get their scheme placed on the ballot.

For these Pochostan stories and more, click here:

Mas…The Week in Ñews: Iowa analysis, death by chihuahua, looking ‘Mexican’

The Math4Men™ formula: BOOBS+BUTT–WAIST=♥ (I think)

A girl can never win.

When I was in seventh grade, I was derided for being flat-chested. When I was in college I was derided for having ample junk in the trunk. As a 20-something I was felt self-conscious because I didn’t have thin legs.

It turns out, depending on who you ask, this is all good — or all lacking. It’s confusing: do Latino men want voluptuous or not? Or do they only want voluptuous in certain places? Do they just like to drool over skinny women on TV, but when they get home prefer something more ample? What are the mathematics on being an “adequately-attractive” Latina?

Mas…The Math4Men™ formula: BOOBS+BUTT–WAIST=♥ (I think)

Funny, you don’t look Mexican!

doesntlook“You don’t look Mexican” is something I hear a lot. I hear it from whites, African-Americans, Asians, Mexican nationals, Latinos from Latin America, just about everyone. Of course, in polite company, I usually respond, “Oh, yeah, I get that a lot.”

In my head, however, I usually think, “What, exactly does is a Mexican ‘supposed’ to look like?” This is, in turn, followed by some expletives.

I find it uncanny that, in 2011 with a country and a world that is increasingly multiracial, that educated people still assume that certain people are “supposed” to look one way or another. Boggles my mind.

Mas…Funny, you don’t look Mexican!