Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.
In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.
Now is almost time for Turkey Day and I give tanks that I get the money for mijo. I get the idea for this receta from all the chocolate I eat for to feel better about the humans (me no like the peoples some days). Chocolate make me feel more nicer to the peoples.
We make Turkey in Mole Poblano Sauce. The Náhuatl peoples in México use to say it mulli and the Aztecs serve the mole to the important peoples on top of the turkeys. Mole Poblano is a thick sauce that has the chocolate and a lot of espices that ju makes by grinding ingrediens in a molcajete, but if ju don’t have a molcajete like the Mexican peoples ju can use a blender or a food processor. I understand.
Before we estart, let me splain that there are a lot of ingrediens. This is no receta for a peoples that only make Cup o Noodles. They say the receta came from a nun in Mexico who have a sweet tooth. So ju know she had a lot of time and that have a sweet tooth prolly mean she was mad at some peoples like me.
Before ju estart to cook, ju have to find all of the chiles. There are four chiles ju needs for to cook the mole: ancho chiles, mulatto chiles, pasilla chiles, and chipotle. Some peoples get lazy and throwing only one jalapeños in there. Is no mole!
Ju oso have to find the Mexican chocolate. Is no like the regular chocolate because it have toasted cacao, cinnamon, sugar and grinded almonds. Is sweeter and grainy like sand when you eat.
Oso, this receta takes many horas (thas hours for you pochos) to make. But ju can help pass the time by making jurself a michelada to drinks while ju cook.
4 table espoon sesame seeds (mas some extras for to garnish)
1 tea espoon black peppercorns
1/2 tea espoon whole cloves
1 tea espoon dried thyme
1/2 tea espoon dried marjoram
3 dried bay leaves, crumbled
1 (1 1/2-inch) stick cinnamon, broken into pieces, like mijo’s daddy’s heart
6 dried ancho chiles
6 dried guajillo chiles
6 dried pasilla chiles
1 dried chipotle chile
½ cup almonds with the skin
1/3 cup pepitas (thas hulled pumpkin seeds for you pochos)
1/3 cup raisins
1/2 cup canola oil (or vegetable shortening or lard depends on how Mexican ju want to be)
5 cups chicken estock
1 slices white bread or 1 plantain, halved lengthwise
1 stale corn tortillas (from your frigerator)
1 medium onion, esliced eskinny (like the eskank who leave mijo’s daddy)
2 medium cloves garlic, cut real little (like the eskank’s heart)
2 large tomatillos, with no husk, wash, and cut into quarters (like mijo’s daddy’s monthly income).
1 large tomato, (chop the Lorena Bobbit estyle)
1 cup chop Mexican chocolate
4 table espoons sugar, plus more if ju mad at some people
Kosher salt, how mush you want
WHAT JU DO:
Take out estems and seeds from chiles.
Toast the sesame seeds and espices until the smell fill your kishen. Set aside the mixture of
Fry the pepitas, almonds and raisins. Put in the bowl with the espices.
Roast the tomates (tomatoes for ju gringos), onion and garlic until brown and soft.
Fry chiles in 1/4 cup of vegetable oil until crispy (when oil is hot)
Boil roasted vegetables and chiles in 4 cups chicken estock in large pot until soft.
Combine all ingredients in batches in a molcajete or blender and grind, then pass through a
In a separate pan, fry plantain or white breads until golden brown.
Put tortilla directly over flame and burn it.
Combine plantain (or breads) and tortilla in blender with 1 cup of water and blend. Remove and
Put on the side.
Add the tortilla and plantain sauce to estrained vegetable mixture in pot.
Add chocolate and sugar. Stir until it esmooth.
Put salt to taste and cook for 25 minutes.
To serve, pour the mole over cooked turkeys and put on top sesame seeds.
So ju can enjoy this receta to honor jur Aztec peoples, or if you are mad at peoples, or if ju want to make jur Turkey Day more especial.
Until next time when I make Mexican Green Eggs and Spam (for the budget-conscious pochos)…
Tia Lencha’s excellent blog lives here.