Pocho Ocho other Papal smoke signals beside black and white

The Cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church locked themselves inside the Vatican’s historic Sistine Chapel Tuesday to choose the next Pope.  In accordance with tradition, they will communicate the results of their deliberations to the outside world via smoke signals.

Black smoke means no one got enough votes (two-thirds of those voting must agree) to become Pope, and white smoke means Habemus Papam — Latino for “We have a Pope.”

But that’s not all!  Here are the pocho ocho other smoke signals the Cardinals will send to let you know what’s going on inside the Sistine Chapel:

8. Green smoke:  Habemus frogam

7. Rainbow smoke: We have a new Pope and he is fabulous

6. Red smoke: OK, which one of you Cardinals put Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in the ballot box?

Mas…Pocho Ocho other Papal smoke signals beside black and white

Breaking Ñews: Former Microsoft employee Clippy comes out

THIS JUST IN: (PNS reporting from REDMOND, WA) Former Microsoft Office Assistant Clippy, fired after a controversial career just trying to help some people out for crissake, will come out as gay in a forthcoming tell-all autobiography, PNS has learned.

The book, tentatively titled Don’t Ask Me Again, details Clippy’s crush on icon rival Happy Mac (photo), tempestuous meetings with erstwhile colleague Microsoft Bob, and all-night drug-fueled parties with the Tux, the Linux Penguin.

Mas…Breaking Ñews: Former Microsoft employee Clippy comes out

Pocho Ocho ways to deal with a boss who is ‘all hands’

Women’s History Month is a good time to spotlight sexual harassment at work.

Congress has reauthorized the Violence Against Women Act, sure, but legal action isn’t always an option, like when you’re on a business trip with the boss, or in his office for a late-night meeting.

Here are the pocho ocho ways to fend off a boss who is all hands:

8. In your best Latina voice, scream “¡No, patron, por favor, no!”

7.  He’s grabby? Grab back…and squeeeeeeeze!

6. Just go with it — you’re already asking for it with that blouse!

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways to deal with a boss who is ‘all hands’

PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Jugo Chavez Energy Drink’ cancelled


BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from CARACAS) The death of Commandante El Presidente Hugo Chavez means the Bolivarian Bottling Company has had to cancel plans to produce Jugo Chavez Energy Drink for export to the United Estates, PNS has learned.

The state-owned firm hoped to export the beverage to the U.S. where MEChA chapters, like cookie-selling Girl Scouts, would set up tables selling cans outside student union buildings.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: ‘Jugo Chavez Energy Drink’ cancelled

Pope to ditch red slippers on retirement, switch to botas picudas

(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) Retiring Pope Benedict XVI is ditching the traditional red slippers (he wears size VIII) when he leaves the papacy and is switching to pointy boots (botas picudas) he got in Mexico, according to news reports.

Chicago’s La Raza (via Google Translate) has the story:

Pope loves shoes that gave her artisans in Mexico in March 2012 during his apostolic visit to the State of Guanajuato and considers them so comfortable that continue to use even after his resignation.

During a press conference the spokesman of the headquarters of the Catholic Church, Federico Lombardi, confirmed that from next Thursday, February 28 at 20:00 local time (19:00 GMT), the pontiff will no longer use the traditional colored shoes Red.

Mas…Pope to ditch red slippers on retirement, switch to botas picudas

Shocking herbal expose! ‘Catnip: Egress to Oblivion?’ (video)


Catnip is all the rage with today’s modern feline, but do we really understand it? This short video dares to expose the shocking facts about this controversial herb and shine a spotlight on what “nip” use is doing to America’s kittehs.

RELATED:

Happy Mardi Gras! Chair dance to ‘Iko Iko’ by The Dixie Cups

There’s no Mardi Gras in New Orleans without Iko Iko. Do you know what the song is about? Here’s the story, from Wikipedia:

“Iko Iko” is a much-covered New Orleans song that tells of a parade collision between two “tribes” of Mardi Gras Indians and the traditional confrontation. The song, under the original title “Jock-A-Mo,” was written in 1953 by James “Sugar Boy” Crawford in New Orleans. The story tells of a “spy boy” (i.e. a lookout for one band of Indians) encountering the “flag boy” or guidon carrier for another “tribe.” He threatens to “set the flag on fire.”

Mas…Happy Mardi Gras! Chair dance to ‘Iko Iko’ by The Dixie Cups

Star Wars loteria cards: Just the mashup you were looking for

Artist Chepo Peña was inspired by Mexican loteria cards and George Lucas’ Star Wars to create these graphics. George Lucas said thanks, Chepa, but don’t sell them.  So he stopped selling them but still keeps them on the Internets. There’s more info over at the TextMex blog (by our amigo Memo Nericcio) and Chepo Peña’s site is here.

Mas…Star Wars loteria cards: Just the mashup you were looking for

Al Madrigal dives into the Tea Party’s manatee manifesto (video)


President Bronco Bama might have been reelected, but that doesn’t mean the Tea Party is ready to give up. In Florida, they’re trying to keep the Socialist UN-Occupied Federal Government out of their water sports, insisting on their Constitutional Right to Ride Manatees.

The Daily Show’s Al Madrigal dives deep into the depths of Florida to meet the manatees, the manatee people and the Tea Partiers fighting for their right to party with these large, fully aquatic, mostly herbivorous marine mammals, which are sometimes known as sea cows. And monkeys riding dogs. [Disclosure: Al is also POCHO’s Migrant editor, and we’re so proud!]