Beat icon, literary treasure, junkie, poet and provocateur William S. Burroughs offered this Thanksgiving Prayer in 1986. You don’t know Burroughs? His most famous book was Naked Lunch, and Wikipedia says he specialized in satire and “paranoid fiction.” (NSFW language.)
COMIC SAENZ
Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight things right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Fieri’s Tipi
Ñewsweek: Adios to Florida, viral Latinophilia, hot sex escandal
Florida once against led the nation in advanced asshattery (Arizona — step up your game!) as it became the first state to actually secede from the United Estates, thanks to President Bronco Bama’s “Don’t Let the Door Hit Your Ass on the Way Out” declaration.
In East Los, gangbangers finally got their chance to do it Ganga/Gangnam style with Don Cheto, and across America many right-wing racists seemed to be suffering from an infection of acute contagious Latinophilia, with Fox-head Sean Hannity leading the pack of patients.
And then there was the shock resignation of Maria Cholula after revelations of her affair with Tagberto Tapatio.
We have all the big ñews links here:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Adios to Florida, viral Latinophilia, hot sex escandal
Bill Santiago: ‘The Funny of (Latin) Dance’ [live performance video]
Like to laugh? Like to dance? Check out The Funny of (Latin) Dance from comic Bill Santiago, a video mashup of performances of his show across America. (NSFW language.)
Al Madrigal goes to Arizona to understand legislative gridlock (video)
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal goes to Arizona to understand how a streamlined legislative process can benefit the country.
DISCLOSURE: Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.
Pets for Pochos: Mexican Redknee Tarantula (video)
Cats? Been there. Dogs? Done that. Birds? Meh. What you need is a Mexican Redknee Tarantula — quiet, neat, just feed them crickets and keep them warm. And their venom may hurt like hell, but it’s not lethal!
Spanglish! Chingo Bling: ‘Call me maybe/Why ju hating on me?’ (video)
We only met once. Ju think I’m creepy. Am I estalking ju?
On House floor, Rep. Luis Gutierrez schools GOP on Latinos (video)
Congressman Luis V. Gutierrez (D-IL) continues his education efforts on the House floor, introducing the Republican Party to Latinos.
Is it a crime to cross the line? ‘Dame Agua, Give Me Water’ (video)
A nameless man — let’s call him Juan Doe — dies in the desert near the border. This is his song: Dame Agua from Eric Holland‘s CD American Inmigrante.
Update: Mexico says Popocatepetl UFO/OVNI was distant meteorite
Mexican civil defense officials are reassuring a troubled nation that the UFO/OVNI captured on video apparently falling down INTO the smoldering Popopcatepetl volcano was actually a distant meteorite.
Inexplicata translated the report:
Mas…Update: Mexico says Popocatepetl UFO/OVNI was distant meteorite
You’re so Hispanic, you probably think this video is about you
Univision thinks this is the New American Reality. Is it your reality?
Get the skills you need at Vosotros Polytechnic Institute (video)
You know it, pochos! An education is the gateway to a successful climb up the career ladder. Get the training you need to succeed at Vosotros Polytechnic Institute.
Maria Cholula resigns as company president, cites affair with Tapatio
(PNS reporting from JALISCO) Maria Cholula resigned Monday night as president of the Mexican hot sauce company that bears her name, citing a brief affair with Tagberto Tapatio, who heads a competing corporation. Her resignation follows a Facebook posting of a blurred photo of the executive with her picante amigo.
Maria Cholula founded the company in 1989 and sold it to Jose Cuervo S.A. de C.V. 10 years later, but continued to run the local firm. Tapatio, an American company headquartered in Southern California, is considered to be Cholula’s top competitor in the Mexican-style hot sauce category.
Mas…Maria Cholula resigns as company president, cites affair with Tapatio
@MexicanMitt Romney tells all in first post-defeat interview (audio)
@MexicanMitt Romney phoned public radio station KUNM in New Mexico Monday night for his first post-election interview. The Twitter Idol liberally assigned blame for his defeat by Bronco Bama, reminisced about the fireworks he planned to set off had he juan and revealed he’s still on the lookout for his missing running mate Pollo Ryan. Here’s the interview from the program RAICES.
For the Veterans: Anti-war poem from WWI: ‘Dulce et decorum est’
Today we observe Veterans Day, AKA Armistice Day, which marks the end of the first World War.
Dulce et Decorum est is a poem written by poet Wilfred Owen in 1917, during the War, and published posthumously in 1920. Owen’s poem is known for its horrific imagery and condemnation of war.
They don’t use poison gas any more but phosphorous flares and drone strikes aren’t much fun either.
POCHO dedicates this poem to all our veterans in gratitude for their service and sacrifice and with the hope no child will ever be sent into war again.
Mas…For the Veterans: Anti-war poem from WWI: ‘Dulce et decorum est’
Big Knife vs Small Pipe: Two men enter, one man leaves (video)
It’s the very first Mr. Mean Adventure, Filero Grande vs Pipa Chica, from Louis Moncivias.
Ñewsweek: Bronco Bama reelected, @MexicanMitt Romney concedes
President Bronco Bama was reelected this week despite the valiant campaign mounted by Juan Percenter @MexicanMitt Romney; the Mexi-Mormon challenger released a last-minute campaign espeech and animated music video which were very popular on POCHO but apparently didn’t help in Ohio, Florida and Pennsylvania.
POCHO’s ñews-breaking coverage included toons by Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz, election recaps and a look at what’s up next for the former first lady in waiting Ann Romney.
Cable TV star Don Cheto make a video Gangnam Style and a huge OVNI/UFO was filmed flying down into Mexico’s Popocatapetl volcano.
The links are here:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Bronco Bama reelected, @MexicanMitt Romney concedes
Laugh your nalgas off with ‘The Best of Culture Clash’ (video)
Enjoy this hour-long compilation of skits from the pioneering Chicano Los Angeles comedy troupe’s television program. LOLz guaranteed or your money back.
‘Wise Latina’ Sotomayor hangs with Big Bird’s posse (video)
Dressed all in black, Goth Justice Sonia Sotomayor mugs for the camera and wastes taxpayer money that could be better spent on drones, bombs and bayonets in this Sesame Street video about “careers” for girls.
In collusion with Big Bird’s socialist PBS pals, the unmarried jurist mocks the proud American tradition of Walt Disney princesses and never once mentions the proper female occupation of staying at home and cleaning the house and cooking dinner for the family.
Unashamed, the ultra-liberal home wrecker actually tells impressionable little Muppette Abby to “get a career.”
You voted for this, people. Muppets, PBS and “Hispanics.” The line to Canada forms on the right.
What’s smoking in Colorado? Al Madrigal reports (video)
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent (and POCHO Migrant Editor) Al Madrigal tells Jon Stewart all about Colorado’s marijuana legalization referendum despite never having smoked pot himself.
Pocho Rico shout out: I Like To Be in America! (West Side Story)
“Industry boom in America. Twelve in a room in America. Lots of new housing with more space. Lots of doors slamming in our face,” they sing in West Side Story (1961.) Pocho Rico referendum shout out!
We’ve got all the lyrics, too:
Mas…Pocho Rico shout out: I Like To Be in America! (West Side Story)
Mile-long UFO flies down INTO smoldering Popocatepetl (video)
From Televisia comes this report of a gigantic (mile-long?) cylindrical UFO/OVNI flying down INTO Popo. The UFO’s descent was captured by a 24/7 volcano cam that’s fixed on the peak, which is south of Mexico City.
Mas…Mile-long UFO flies down INTO smoldering Popocatepetl (video)
Don Cheto totally does it ‘Puro Gangnam Style’ (video)
East Los shout-out! And where did they shoot with all the cop cars? Careful, pochos, there is a danger of spitting coffee on your screen, so watch out.
The problem with Earth people: ‘They’re made out of meat’ (video)
Going to see the space aliens at Area 51, you say? Too late, holmes. They’ve come and gone.
La Jolla cops on alert after dog shit bag trick at Romney beach house
(PNS reporting from LA JOLLA) Police in this pricey San Diego barrio are on alert after “an intruder or intruders” slipped onto the Romney family’s secluded beachfront property early this morning, left a flaming paper bag of what is believed to be dog shit on the front porch, rang the doorbell and fled into the fog.
The multi-million dollar home, located at 311 Dunemere Dr. has been the target of repeated protests.
Mas…La Jolla cops on alert after dog shit bag trick at Romney beach house
President Bronco Bama reelected in decisive victory
POCHO’s panel of experts has spoken: Pres. Bronco Bama has been reelected. Details soon.
Election Day Music Video: Bobby McFerrin ‘Don’t Worry Be Happy’
Don’t worry, says MR. POCHO. And be happy.
Pocho Ocho ways to stay anxiety-free today
We know. It’s tough out there with the idiots and pendejos who are voting for the wrong person. What’s a pocho to do to keep from going totally postal before it’s all over (we hope) tonight?
Here are the Pocho Ocho best ways to chillax:
8. Salma Hayek
7. Fifty Shades of Brown
6. Arpaio Viejo Tequila
Today’s financial headlines from the BBC (video)
Here are today’s top finance stories from the British Broadcasting Corporation.
Sacha Baron Cohen: ‘Americans should consider dictatorship’ (video)
Sacha Baron Cohen is The Dictator
Pocho Ocho top excuses for not voting tomorrow
Everyone has reasons why you should vote. What are the best reasons not to?
8. That time of the month
7. I have a headache
6. I have to wash my hair