Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday 2015

It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad Pro — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top tips for surviving Black Friday 2015

Pocho Ocho amazing little-known first Thanksgiving factoids

See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago? We’ve got eight little-known factoids right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Chipotle Mexican Grill

Mas…Pocho Ocho amazing little-known first Thanksgiving factoids

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Thanksgiving turkey al pastor tacos

lenchatacosHappy Mexican Thanksgiving Day!

Is Tia Lencha here. Gwhat is Mexican Thanksgiving Day you ask? Is Thanksgiving but with all Mexican food. What?!?! My gringo frends say. Oh no! How you can do that! Is crazy! And Tia Lencha say, no really.

When I help mijo with his homeworks, I learn that Thanksgiving come from a Puritan holiday in Englands. When it was the Reformation the Protestantes wanted to throw away all the Catholic holidays, even Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny!

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Thanksgiving turkey al pastor tacos

Archaeologists: Skeletal remains linked to pulque god (photos,video)

skeletalremainsArchaeologists in Tlaxcala, Mexico have discovered skeletal remains of a high-ranking figure in Aztec ruins that are linked to the pulque god, as well as “the cooked vertebrae and ribs of at least three different infants.”

Archeaology reports:

Excavations at the Zultépec-Tecoaque archaeological site, home to the Acolhua between A.D. 1200 and 1521, have uncovered human remains in a cistern, a throne made from volcanic rock, and a cylindrical stone carved with the image of the Aztec god Ometochtli.

Mas…Archaeologists: Skeletal remains linked to pulque god (photos,video)

Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if your tamales are illegal

illegaltamalesAfter the Border Patrol at Los Angeles International Airport (LAX) confiscated and incinerated 450 “illegal tamales” flown in from Mexico (photo), we asked tamale experts how law-abiding citizens could determine if their tamales were also illegal.

After all, when tamales are illegal, only illegals will have tamales. Here are the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Tell If Your Tamales Are illegal:

8. The tamales “accidentally” turned off their body-cams

7. Fake Syrian passports

6. Hipsters keep asking you where you got them

Mas…Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if your tamales are illegal

Europe’s most popular ‘surf guitar’ tune: ‘Mexican Bodega’ (video)


Lennart_50_sSwedish composer Lennart Clerwell (photo) wrote Mexican Bodega, a perfectly lovely “surf guitar” instrumental ballad that seems to have been covered by every middle-aged Swedish, Danish, Dutch, Norwegian, Finnish and German guitarist on YouTube.

It’s a sweet tune, as Tibor Slamovits shows in this video. We don’t know how or why the composition got its name — in Mexico a “bodega” is a warehouse, not a tiendita or “little shop” — but if this song reminds you of a bodega near you, go there now and buy or store some stuff.

When life hands you a blob of masa, make tamales!

tamaleexpert

When I arrived at Northgate Gonzalez market and was immediately handed a free apron that read I ❤️ Tamales and several blobs of uncooked masa, I knew immediately I had made the right decision for a Friday night.

Even my mother, who invited herself along after her favorite novela was cancelled due to soccer, looked grudgingly impressed. She’d spent the entire ride complaining  she did not need tamales-cooking classes because she was a world-class tamales expert.

Let me be clear: In all the years I’ve been alive, my mother has never produced a single tamal.

Instead, she criticizes everyone else’s tamales.

Mas…When life hands you a blob of masa, make tamales!

Digital burritos just $18.99 @ Amazon! Free shipping tambien! (photos)

burritopouchadIf you’ve been looking for the perfect high-tech gift for your high-tech friend, your search is over. For a buck under $20, Amazon will ship a multi-burrito-colored Digital Burrito to your door.

What the heck, you may ask. A satisfied Amazon customer has your answer:

Anyone who sees this in class thinks I have an actual burrito on my desk. I use it as a pencil bag and it holds about 8 pens and pencils in the elective bands and I put my erasers in the little mesh pouch. Love it!

Mas…Digital burritos just $18.99 @ Amazon! Free shipping tambien! (photos)