It’s Not News to Us
Who will be the new owner of the L.A. Clippers basketball team when disgraced racist owner Donald Sterling is finally forced out? We sent a camera crew to ask passersby on the streets in Peru.
PREVIOUSLY ON RACISM:
Mas…Peru Cam: Sure, we’re mestizo, but we still hate blacks (video)
Nachos are exotic foreign fare in Merrye Olde Inglaterra, so you need someone to explain how they work. We think “trash food” is British for “junk food,” but these people also call cookies “biscuits” so who knows what they mean.
Anyhow, our Limey expert’s first step to acceptable nacho eating is the purchase of Doritos. Ruh roh.
Mas…Brit paper explains how to eat nachos — the exotic ‘titans of trash food’
Abuelita wants to step up her look with cool-looking shades, so she’s checking out Kanye West style sunglasses, John Lennon specs and heavy black hipster models. Which style is right for her?
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
Mas…Abuelita Reviews: These Kanye-style shades are cray-cray (video)
Today’s word is chipotle, a smoke-dried jalapeño chile pepper. It’s also the name of a national food chain. It’s a difficult word to pronounce properly, so listen closely.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHIPOTLE:
Mas…Proper Pronunciation for Pochos: ‘How to Say Chipotle’ (video)
The late country music superstar George Jones wrote and sang quite a few standout songs. Boogie Woogie Mexican Boy (AKA Mexican Boogie) may not be among them. On the other hand, how many tunes do you know about a Mexican boy the girls like because he has “great big feet?” And how exactly did he cross the border into San Antone?
He was just a lad, not too old
Always lived in Mexico
And every day in the hot sunshine
He would dance and sing just to pass the time.Dancin’, prancin’ up the street
Not even takin’ time to eat
This little boy with the great big feet
Doing the boogie with the Mexican beat.
Happy birthday, dead Ritchie Valens, born this day in 1941.
Valens, from the L.A. suburb of Pacoima, was born Richard Steven Valenzuela and some consider him the father of Chicano rock.
Pocho Valens didn’t espeak Espanish, so he sang the lyrics to his biggest hit record from a phonetic cheat sheet.
And then he died.
For your Ritchie-listening pleasure, we are pleased to feature two versions of La Bamba, the original 1958 “keep the tape running” recording sessions, and then the actual hit record.
Everybody scream now:
Mas…Happy Birthday Ritchie Valens, Pocho Pride of Pacoima (music videos)
Ritchie Valens, 1950s Pacoima pocho teenage idol, would have been 73 years old today, except for that day the music died. Cutty Flam, the alt.rock.band from your black-and-white-retro future, made this video tribute, performing Ritchie’s hit Donna.
It’s one of a series of Valens tribute videos, as EddieG explains:
Mas…Ritchie Valens birthday tribute: Cutty Flam does ‘Donna’ (video)
(PNS reporting from CAMBRIDGE, MASS) Did you know that the more lawyers there are in Puerto Rico, the more people die from falling out of their beds?
That’s the startling statistical relationship discovered by the prestigious Harvard Law-school-based Spurious Correlations Institute, one of many recently revealed on their website.
Mas…Did Puerto Rican lawyers cause rise in bed-fall fatalities?
Sweet and Tasty TV’s Professor Oh checks out the Mexican food at Vatos Urban Tacos in Seoul, South Korea. It’s puro L.A. fusion style – Korean kalbi beef tacos a la Kogi, pork carnitas and Baja-style fish tacos. Fresh guacamole and cool Coronas, too. Not to mention Nutella nachos.
PREVIOUSLY ON MEXICAN FOOD:
Mas…Authentic tacos in Seoul, South Korea – and Nutella nachos (video)
A trippy new series of prints from Guadalajara artist Ricardo Solis explains how the leopard got its spots, the zebra its stripes, and more.
Mas…How the leopard got its spots, the zebra its stripes (toons)
It’s not every day mariachis dressed in white play the theme from the classic Nintendo (NES) game Super Mario Bros; you don’t get married every day either. This musical gift, according to the uploader, was a surprise from the bride to the groom.
And here’s the Nintendo original:
Mas…Mariachi wedding band plays ‘Super Mario Bros.’ theme (videos)
BRUNCH: Nothing makes for a mellow mom like the All You Can Drink Micheladas Mother’s Day Brunch at stylish Bar Racho at the Ritchie Valens Hilton on East Olmos Boulevard.
Executive Jefe Gustaco Naranjero once again promises his extensive buffet featuring a soft and hard taco station, the always-popular Holy Habanero salsa challenge and the spectacular Flan Fountain.
New this year is the Fusion Fiesta featuring creations like the Banh Mi Burrito, the Tamales de Lox and the Philly Cheesesteak Chimichangas. Don’t miss the free giveaway of the new mini Tapatio espray bottles for when you absolutely, positively need to spice stuff up.
Mas…Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do on Mother’s Day
Here’s how NPR Music producer Jasmine Garsd tells the story:
For the first installment in the Mi Casa Es Tu Casa series with Fusion, a Mexican band invites Alt.Latino into its house for lively conversation and great music.
Ever since I moved to Mexico City, I’ve been overwhelmed by the amount of music at my fingertips. I’m not just talking about amazing concerts: So many artists from all over Latin America live here in Mexico, and I love being here to check in on their creative process.
Los Angeles “Paisley Underground” band The Bangles’ tune September Gurls gets a remake by History Teachers to tell the story of The Olmecs and those big stone heads.
Mira the History Teachers’ lyrics:
The Olmec heads
From long ago
Where they came from
No one knows
Francinaldo da Silva, 23, is 1.6 meters tall (5’3″) and Elisany da Cruz Silva, 18, is 2 meters tall (6’6″) but the height discrepancy is no impediment to true love, at least according to this Chinese video about the newly-engaged Brazilian couple with English and Chinese captions narrated by a posh (Australian?) announcer.
Our assessment: She looks much taller than 2 meters. What do you think?
How do animators give drawings The Illusion of Life? Cento Lodigiani explains:
The 12 basic principles of animation were developed by the ‘old men’ of Walt Disney Studios, amongst them Frank Thomas and Ollie Johnston, during the 1930s.
Mas…Animation 101: Giving your characters ‘The Illusion of Life’ (video)
Abuelita (Altagracia Guzman) knows her chichis (or “titties” as she calls them) and which bras are best – the padded bra or la flimsy, risqué model.
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
Mas…Abuelita Reviews: Lingerie – Which bra is right for you? (video)
Stunning Hawaii footage of Mexican-American surfer Kai Mana gets mashed up with Cheech and Chong’s song Mexican-Americans and it’s a video win.
PREVIOUSLY ON SURF MUSIC:
Mas…Watch: Surfing ‘Mexican-Americans’ mashup (Cheech and Chong)
It’s not that Latinas don’t love hearing how their individual characteristics pale in comparison to stereotypes thrown around on talk radio…well, actually, they don’t love it. At all.
NOLA student Sophia Garcia says the stereotypes that bother her most are the ones she hears when she share her “opinions” — that she’s being overly “spicy” and “ghetto.” Who would be bothered by that? Probably anyone.
What you think?
PREVIOUSLY ON STEREOTYPES:
A mama black bear — probably from Mexico — and her cub climb a Texas canyon wall to escape the pinche OSO MIGRA. [Warning: Annoying loud wind noise audio — you probably want to lower your volume.]
In Italy, Pancho Bello, a chihuahua, and his human, a man named Nic Bello, perform their yoga routine together.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHIHUAHUAS:
It was the third annual Cinco de Mayo Festival at the Greek Theatre in the Hollywood Hills Saturday night. Just another band from East L.A., Los Lobos, played Feria de las Flores and shared this video tonight.
PREVIOUSLY ON LOS LOBOS:
Mas…Watch: Los Lobos live at Cinco de Mayo fiesta at Greek Theatre
| ESPANOL: La India María debe encontrar a toda costa en lo recóndito de una montaña, El Mágico Espejo Negro de Tezcatlipoca, pues el espíritu de su bisabuelo Moctezuma Xocoyotzin así lo ha ordenado para evitar la destrucción de México.
Alonso, un atractivo arqueólogo español, Bianchi, un tramposo busca-tesoros y Brígida Troncoso — una ambiciosa gobernadora, se enteran de la existencia del dichoso Espejo, del misterioso Tesoro de Moctezuma y de la tal María, por lo que todos emprenden una frenética persecución detrás de ella para apoderarse del cristal mágico y del oro. |
ENGLISH: La India María (born María Nicolasa Cruz) must find, at all costs, hidden away in a big mountain, The Magic Black Mirror of Tezcatlipoca. She’s on a mission ordered by the spirit of her great grandfather Moctezuma Xocoyotzin,and she must succeed to stop the destruction of all Mexico.
Alonso, an attractive Spanish architect, Bianchi, a crazy treasure hunter and Brígida Troncoso, an ambitious governor, all find out about the existence of the Mirror, the mysterious Treasure of Moctezuma and María, which is why everyone pursues her to try to take away the magical crystal and gold. |
POCHO sent reporters to bars and parties, barbecues and parades all across the United Estates to find out how Americans were celebrating Cinco de Mayo. Here’s what they said:
Mas…POCHO Asks America: How did you celebrate Cinco de Mayo?
O.C.D. Charlie fears the theft of his identity. Video by Jesus Trejo.
PREVIOUSLY ON ONLINE SECURITY:
Mas…O.C.D. Charlie is determined to prevent identity theft (video)
White folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.
I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s Cinco de Mayo video rant, mas o menos.
He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.
However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point:
Willy Wonka:
Matrix Morpheus:
Mas…All your Cinco de Mayo memes in one click-bait listicle! (toons)
(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.
The Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.
Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.
Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.
But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.
Mas…Cartel street fight in Puebla, MX crushes French gang invaders
They celebrate every year, usually on the fifth day in May. Brentwood? Where? What? Huh?
This Cinco de Mayo, will you do your part to make the world a safer place? Stop the violence! Save the piñatas!
