Costa Rican man miraculously cooks own dinner

cookSuegra remains skeptical that he didn’t receive assistance

(PNS reporting from LIBERIA, COSTA RICA) Local man Ramón Sosa Quesada stunned his friends and family Saturday when he single-handedly cooked his own dinner after finding himself home alone with no prepared meal.

Sosa, whose wife goes to choir practice on Saturday evenings, said he felt completely lost when he could only find dry rice and raw platanos in the family’s kitchen. He then fell into complete panic when he tried to order servicio express from A’s Chicken and realized his cell phone was out of saldo and he’d spent his final colones on a 6-pack of Rock Ice Limon.

“Mae, I was really looking forward to some steamy hot A’s in my mouth,” Sosa said. “I tried eating dried pasta, coffee grains, garlic cloves, everything. When I saw an advertisement for Popeye’s Chicken on TV, I collapsed to the floor and wept.”

Mas…Costa Rican man miraculously cooks own dinner

Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if someone is a member of ‘LA RAZA’

curiel-trumpcardcarryingYou know that “Mexican Judge,” Gonzalo P. Curiel? He can’t be impartial in the Trump University fraud case because he’s a member of that militant Mexican cabal known as LA RAZA.

And he’s not the only one! After all, you can’t have a conspiracy with only one conspirator, amirite?

There might even be card-carrying members of LA RAZA in your neighborhood, at your job, talking about you in Spanish at the next table over, or ohmygod in your kids’ schools!

Be aware and be prepared, America.

Here are the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Tell if Someone Is A Member Of LA RAZA:

8. Nopal en la frente

7. MEChA meeting

6. No era penal

Mas…Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if someone is a member of ‘LA RAZA’

Mexican farmer built pyramid because space aliens from Orion (videos)

captionalienRaymundo Corona built a stone pyramid on his farm near the Mexico-U.S. border on orders from a tall alien from the Constellation Orion named Herulayka, who had honey-colored eyes and white hair, like many Orionians, except for those other Orionians with honey-colored hair and white eyes, not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Mas…Mexican farmer built pyramid because space aliens from Orion (videos)