Area man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is all about, yo!

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shirtmodel(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Ruben Covarrubias astounded family and friends here Sunday night when he admitted that the history of Cinco de Mayo didn’t concern him and he’d always thought “May 5 was Mexican Independence Day, so like so what?!”

“I don’t care what it’s about, yo!” he told everyone within earshot of the backyard grill. “I just always celebrated it with MEChA and at school. Partay!”

Friends and family at the Covarrubias’ weekly carne asada were aghast. Some reconsidered whether they’d be driving back to El Sereno next week, multiple witness reported.

Mas…Area man doesn’t care what Cinco de Mayo is all about, yo!

WAR (the original band): ‘Cinco de Mayo’ (1981 complete)

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warcincoThis 1981 single from WAR was the first time many non-Latinos heard of Cinco de Mayo. This photo shows the original guys at the Sunset Grill (7439 Sunset, next to their offices (Far Out Productions) at 7417 Sunset. The Guitar Center swallowed up 7417 a while back.

L-R: Charles Miller (sax, RIP), Lonnie Jordan (keyboards, the only original member in the new so-called WAR), Howard Scott (guitar, Lowrider Band), Harold Brown (drums, Lowrider Band), BB Dickerson (bass, Lowrider Band), Lee Oskar (harmonica, Lowrider Band). Not pictured, Papa Dee (RIP, percussion).

[DISCLOSURE: I was WAR’s National Director of Album Promotion for a while and ate so often at the Sunset Grill (like in the Eagles song) I had credit.]

Mas…WAR (the original band): ‘Cinco de Mayo’ (1981 complete)

Me? I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

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I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.

I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.

My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.

Mas…Me? I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

Puebla, MX narco cartel killers crush French gang invaders

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Federales clean up bodies after cartel Battle of Puebla

(PNS reporting from PUEBLA, MX) Federales have finished cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead, PNS has learned.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Puebla, MX narco cartel killers crush French gang invaders

Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)

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maydaybigEnjoy the Internacional, the world-wide (Get it? It’s international!) anthem of those red commie cabrones in Cuba and Venezuela and China and North Korea (and lurking in secretive cells everywhere else but the lamestream media sheeple won’t tell you that).

Tomorrow, May 1, is May Day AKA International Workers’ Day, when the communist comrades sing this stirring appeal, with its hummable melody and a vague vision of a better future that’s hard to disagree with, except maybe the LUCHA FINAL aspect.

Mas…Happy May Day from the Workers of the World (music video, lyrics)

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Fruity Virgin Micheladas for Cinco de Mayo

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tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo — next week. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Fruity Virgin Micheladas for Cinco de Mayo

My report and photos from the set of Adam Sandler’s ‘Ridiculous Six’

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I had to post this after reading that the actors who walked off Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous Six set get tagged as heroes and those who stayed, like me, get belittled.

My photograph (above) shows two of the men who walked off and the lady who stayed. They’re discussing the film’s infamous script, just after they talked to one of the assistant directors about the script.

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PREVIOUSLY: Why I didn’t walk off Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous Six set
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Just before he leaves, the man on the right attempts to gather as many of the 100-plus extras into a holding tent like the one pictured (below).

Mas…My report and photos from the set of Adam Sandler’s ‘Ridiculous Six’

Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

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They look scrumptious — especially the cheese that she crisps on the grill at El Cortez — but please, Chef Lindsay Porter, it’s kay-so, not kee-so! To be fair, El Cortez is in Edmonton, Alberta, Canadia, where they call their dollars “Loonies.” PRO TIP: Cortez is NOT a Mexican hero, unless you mean the Nike Cortez.

Mas…Chef Lindsay: How do you make fried kee-so tacos at El Cortez?

Beetles with rhinestones are the living jewelry of Mexico (videos)

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Bugs. Bugs with backpacks of rhinestones. Bugs with backpacks of rhinestones on gold-plated chains. Bugs with backpacks of rhinestones on gold-plated chains you wear as jewelry. Does Mexican PETA know about this?

“Meet the Makech, the Bedazzled Beetles Worn as Living Jewelry,” writes The Smithsonian.com. “The unusual bugs from the Yucatán have a backstory as colorful as their rhinestone-studded rumps.”

Mas…Beetles with rhinestones are the living jewelry of Mexico (videos)

Dance along with The 1491s: ‘I’m an Indian, too!’ (music video)

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indiantooIf you’ve got to dance to keep from cryin’ — well then, dance to I’m an Indian, too! by the 1491s.  All the kool kids are doing it!

Careful listeners will note actual Native Americans cracking jokes with stereotypical Indian names like “Running Nose,” the same jokes that offended the sensitive extras on Adam Sandler’s Ridiculous Six movie set.  

Mas…Dance along with The 1491s: ‘I’m an Indian, too!’ (music video)

How does Wahaca in London make those authentic ‘steak’ tacos? (video)

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tommiemiersLast week we featured a video visit to three of London’s top taquerias — including Wahaca in Covent Garden — and today we return to Ye Merrye Olde Mother Countrye to meet the chef who spells “Oaxaca” her own especial guey.

Thomasina “Tommi” Miers is the founder of England’s Wahaca Mexican restaurant chain and she knows exactly wa the hac she’s doing as she whips up carne asada (aka “Mexican steak”) tacos, a firme fresh salsa and charred cebollitas. Her recipe, she boasts, is “a real corker” and when she says “taco” it rhymes with “tobacco.”

Mas…How does Wahaca in London make those authentic ‘steak’ tacos? (video)

‘Dale Evans [the Mexican help] and the Roughneck Romeos’ (toon)

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COMBODALE“Queen of the Westerns” Dale Evans aka Mrs. Roy Rogers, starred in her own comic book series in 1958. Roughneck Romeos, from Issue #2, features Dale and the Mexican “help.”

When two cowboys fight for the favors of sexy Conchita, Chef Gomez’ niece, there’s trouble on the rancho [click on images to enlarge]…

Mas…‘Dale Evans [the Mexican help] and the Roughneck Romeos’ (toon)

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