Pope: ‘Quakes are message from God: Let there be gay’

popebylalocropped (PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) The recent earthquakes in Southern California are a message from God, according to Pope Francis. The Almighty, he told a visiting delegation of American Catholics Monday, will shake things up until they are more gay.

“Lord knows this mortal world needs some bright flashes of color that aren’t suicide bomb explosions in crowded markets,” the Pontiff said.”And maybe some marigold-print cafe curtains in that drab nook over there.”

Mas…Pope: ‘Quakes are message from God: Let there be gay’

Michoacán tornado home video: ‘¡No manches!’ (NSFW)


A tornado hit the town of Tangancicuaro in the Mexican state of Michoacán on March 22, damaging over 250 homes. This unedited, single-take home video features great play-by-play voiceover while the camera documents flying chonies and other debris. And enjoy the narrator’s colorful vulgar interjections! [NSFW Spanish audio.]

True text message stories: Dude, what is your street name?

 

PREVIOUSLY ON TRUE TEXT MESSAGE STORIES:

Mas…True text message stories: Dude, what is your street name?

Naranjas, Señor?! Oranges for sale! (video)

The naranjero works hard for his money, so hard for it, honey.

As much as this street-vending orange seller looks like POCHO amigo Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano, it’s not him.

Here’s Arellano at his weekend gig:

Mas…Naranjas, Señor?! Oranges for sale! (video)

And now a generic commercial from some brand (video)


At [insert company name here] we care about the __________, the __________ and the ___________ so you and your family can ____________ and the world _______________.

[Your mileage may vary. This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.

Mas…And now a generic commercial from some brand (video)

Census Bureau considering new race/ethnicity questions

2010censusraceproposednewcensusraceThe tricky choose-your-own race/ethnic questions in the 2010 United States Census didn’t work out as planned.

“As many as 6.2% of census respondents selected only “some other race” in the 2010 census (photo, top), the vast majority of whom were Hispanic,” the Pew Research Center reports.

The 2010 Census form asked two questions about race and ethnicity. First, people were asked whether they are of Hispanic, Latino or Spanish origin.

Then they were asked to choose one or more of 15 options that make up five race categories — white, black, American Indian/Alaska Native, Asian, or Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander.

A separate question about Hispanic origin has been asked of all households since 1980, and the census form specifically instructs respondents that Hispanic origins are not races.

To address concerns about a rising share of “some other race” selections, a combined race and ethnicity question is under consideration for 2020 (photo, bottom), in which people would be offered all the race and Hispanic options in one place.

They could check a box to identify as white, black, Hispanic/Latino/Spanish origin, American Indian/Alaska Native, Asian, Native Hawaiian/Other Pacific Islander or some other race or origin.

Mas…Census Bureau considering new race/ethnicity questions

Don’t call me a ‘Mexican,’ America! Also, I’m not a ‘Latino’

HispanosAgaintsLatinoTermIt’s a phenomenon older than the United Estates of America. We’ve named it Looking Down On More Recent Immigrants Syndrome:

Last week three latter-day Looking Down Syndrome sightings lit up our screen, INSISTENT MESSAGES from people who want you to know THEY ARE DEFINITELY NOT THOSE OTHER PEOPLE OVER THERE — those Mexicans and/or Latinos.

Mas…Don’t call me a ‘Mexican,’ America! Also, I’m not a ‘Latino’

Vatos Locos International: Meet Thailand’s ‘cholos’ (NSFW videos)


What do a Buddhist meditation teacher and a Thai policeman have in common? They both think they are “Mexican gangsters” because tats, Pendletons, leaning like a cholo and saying “Fuck the popo!” [NSFW lyrics and explicit subtitles in English.]

Ditto two Armenian gang-bangers who were deported from Southern California back to the Old World; these vatos locos are fighting for Bashar al-Assad in Syria:

Mas…Vatos Locos International: Meet Thailand’s ‘cholos’ (NSFW videos)

Danny Trejo: Action movie star, ‘Breadanimal’ maker (video)


We don’t know what to make of this video from Danny Trejo, where the machete-wielding movie tough guy reveals an improbable hobby: making Breadanimals. It’s a promo, somehow, for his new flick, Bullet, but it seems less funny than awkward and forced.

He doesn’t look like a happy camper to us. What do you think?

PREVIOUSLY ON DANNY TREJO, WE’RE HAPPY TO REMIND YOU ABOUT ONE OF THE GREATEST ONLINE PROMO VIDEOS EVER MADE THAT TAKES A LONG TIME FOR THE *FLASH* FILE TO LOAD BUT IS TOTALLY WORTH IT SO HANG IN THERE:

Mas…Danny Trejo: Action movie star, ‘Breadanimal’ maker (video)

Sen. Ted Cruz hates avocados (allegedly) and Pocho Ocho other things

tedcruzbydonkeyhoteyTea Partier Ted Cruz, the Canadian United States Senator (R-TX), hates avocados, the fruit of a tree native to Mexico and Central America, classified in the flowering plant family Lauraceae along with cinnamon, camphor and bay laurel.

We just learned from a blog post that this Canuckian “public servant” allegedly confessed his shameful prejudice in an interview last October, but sometime since then, the original evidence mysteriously disappeared.

(Crack Malaysian detectives are investigating the disappearance.)

Of course, this Grand Old Pendejo official has many other skeletors in his closet — the Pocho Ocho Other Things Sen. Ted Cruz Hates Besides Avocados:

8. LIFE cereal.

7. Raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens

6. Chestnuts roasting on an open fire

Mas…Sen. Ted Cruz hates avocados (allegedly) and Pocho Ocho other things

Women’s History Month: Sister Megan Rice (toon)

SisiterMeganRiceMegan Gillespie Rice (born January 31, 1930) is an anti-nuclear activist and Roman Catholic nun of the Society of the Holy Child Jesus. On February 18, 2014, Rice was sentenced to 35 months in prison for breaking into the Y-12 National Security Complex in Oak Ridge, Tennessee, spray-painting antiwar slogans, and splashing blood on the outside of the heavily-guarded Highly Enriched Uranium Materials Facility.

BSAA airliner over Andes transmits ‘S T E N D E C’ in Morse, vanishes

STENDECbigThey called her Star Dust.

The British South American Airways (BSAA) Avro Lancastrian airliner (registration G-AGWH) took off from Buenos Aires, Argentina enroute to Santiago, Chile on August 2, 1947.

Star Dust’s final Morse code transmission to Santiago airport, S T E N D E C, was received by the control tower four minutes prior to its planned landing and repeated twice:

… – . -. -.. . -.-.

 

… – . -. -.. . -.-.

 

The Morse transmission sounded just like this:

 

Star Dust — like Malaysian Airlines Flight MH370 and Argentina’s Cadet Flight — was never heard from again.

And what does S T E N D E C mean? No one knew then, no one knows now.

Mas…BSAA airliner over Andes transmits ‘S T E N D E C’ in Morse, vanishes