Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary

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MY FINAL ESPEECH TO THE NATION BEFORE I RULE OVER IT

AJUA!

Viejas and Gentlemen, voters, suppressed voters, this is my final espeech to you before I win the election tomorrow for the Presidency of the United Estates. This is the most important Presidential election of your lifetime, if you were born this year.

I know, you are RELIEVED that this long national nightmare will be finally over. I, too, am sick of the ads, the constant campaigning, having to look at my running mate what’s-his-face, but especially I am sick of Bronco Bamma.

But enough about Black Reagan. Or the country. You all want to know how this affects ME, Mexican Mitt Romney. Campaigning is hard. It’s almost like a yob, which I have not held in a long time. Despite waking up in various strange hotels with Mormon wood every day, I still miss my 14 RANCHOS. (For the language-impaired, “rancho” is Spanish for “polygamous Mormon compound.”)

Mas…Mexican Mitt’s Last Espeech: I’m in it to guin it, by any beans necessary

Ñewsweek: Halloween, Day of the Dead, Chavo del Ocho Style

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Ghosts and skeletons and ghouls that go bump in the night?

It was a spooky ñewsweek at POCHO — the most popular entries on the site were not the newsiest.

Pochos liked this week’s entries about Halloween, Chavo del Ocho Gangnam Style, The Simpsons‘ Mr. Burns’ endorsement of Gov. Mitt Romney  and Lalo Alcaraz’s Sandy toon.

Los links:

Mas…Ñewsweek: Halloween, Day of the Dead, Chavo del Ocho Style

Tio Sam’s War Department presents ‘Tuesday In November’ (video)

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Tuesday In November (1945, directed by John Houseman 16:54)

NARRATOR: It is early morning of the first Tuesday in November. This is an American city. A city that is not very large, not very rich, not very old. It is situated in the western part of the United States, in California. Its name is Riverton. The woman in the car is Mrs. Dawson, one of Riverton’s 15,000 residents. She is principal of Public School No. 2, but today there will be no classes held here. For this is Election Day.

Tuesday In November is a film in simple language made primarily for overseas audiences, many of whom did not enjoy the right to elect their own governments.

Mas…Tio Sam’s War Department presents ‘Tuesday In November’ (video)

Dia de Los Muertos Argentine mutants are people too, my friend (video)

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The band: El Mató a un Policía Motorizado. The video: Día de Los Muertos. We don’t know why, exactly, but one of the mutants from Arnold Schwarzenegger’s Total Recall is involved, and he is not muerto. We advise you, therefore, that the events depicted in this video are probably not a true story but rather a sequence of images strung together to go with the music. That’s how they roll in Argentina.

Dispatch From A Pocha: Lost in New York City

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I put on pants today. It wasn’t nearly as horrible as I remember.

Though it’s only been three days since Hurricane Sandy ransacked the East Coast, it feels like three years.

Manhattan is a different world. The subways are flooded, people are trapped in their neighborhoods, only the Thai place is delivering.

I went to the bodega for some cans of tuna, all they had was anchovies… Never mind, another day of coconut curry…

Mas…Dispatch From A Pocha: Lost in New York City

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