Pocho Ocho things to charge on your new Sheriff Joe MasterCard

Que lastima!

Someone estole Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s identity and used his name to purchase groceries in Chicago. The Maricopa, AZ sheriff, unlike the pochodores here in the POCHO ñewsroom, was not amused.

We have a lot of things we’d like to purchase with Sheriff Joe’s moneh, and here are the top eight:

8. Taco USA by POCHO amigo Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano
7. ¡Ban This! by POCHO Florida Burro Jefe Santino J. Rivera
6. 2013 Good Luck Cartoon Calendar by POCHO Jefe Lalo Alcaraz
5. The life-long love of all the Pochodores, available with only a small donation to Pochismo, Inc. Yes, we’re that whorish.
4. A scholarship fund for Mexican-American studies students
3. New hydraulics for Sheriff Joe’s trocka. Low and slow, ese.
2. You never can have too many frijoles

And the numero uno thing we’d like to put on Sheriff Joe’s credit card is…

A one-way flight to Mars for Sheriff Joe and Gov. Jan Brewja