Nick and I told Sophia that after 1 whole month of going poop on the potty, she could pick out a special prize at Target. She, of course, picked a new doll. The obsession is real. While we were checking out, the cashier asked Sophia if she was going to a birthday party. We both gave her a blank stare. She then pointed to the doll and asked Sophia if she picked her out for a friend. Sophia continued to stare blankly and I let the cashier know that she was a prize for Sophia being fully potty trained. The woman gave me a puzzled look and turned to Sophia and asked, "Are you sure this is the doll you want, honey?" Sophia finally found her voice and said, "Yes, please!" The cashier replied, "But she doesn't look like you. We have lots of other dolls that look more like you." I immediately became angry, but before I could say anything, Sophia responded with, "Yes, she does. She's a doctor like I'm a doctor. And I'm a pretty girl and she's a pretty girl. See her pretty hair? And see her stethoscope?" Thankfully the cashier decided to drop the issue and just answer, "Oh, that's nice." This experience just confirmed my belief that we aren't born with the idea that color matters. Skin comes in different colors just like hair and eyes and every shade is beautiful. #itswhatsontheinsidethatcounts #allskinisbeautiful #teachlove #teachdiversity #thenextgenerationiswatching
Our historic President knows more about Black History Month than the last President, who was not so historic.
And instead of teaching us in American, the President is going to speak English to you, you know, to class up the history of this carnage-loving people, his African-Americans.
Our speech researchers here at the National Pochismo Institute took Wednesday’s speech transcript and ran it through a text-to-speech thang with a British-accented robo-bloke. And it sounds classy! You’ve never heard classy as bigly as this — all the words — the best words — plus a Ben Carson shoutout — and some bragging, lots of lies, and ignorance in abundance. Not to mention dissing CNN and non sequitors, slang, and muddled thinking. You’re welcome, mate.
Mira el transcript, with notes from POCHO’s Comic Saenz, and audio below:
[There’s lots more from Alex Garcia de Aztlan on the Instagram.]
PREVIOUSLY ON EMILIANO ZAPATA:
Race relations in Los Angeles, 1991 are far from ideal. When Mexican-American Eladio goes to avenge the death of his older brother at the hands of a Korean-American merchant, he soon discovers that he’s not the only one with a reason to kill today. [NSFW adult language, F-bombs; graphic violence.]
Compton native Rhyan Lowery grew up with Mexican friends and Mexican music, and now he sings cumbia as El Compa Negro. Maybe it helps that he can ride a horse. [Video by LAWeekly.]
The HarpWeek blog explains:
This image dramatically condemns the brutal racism of some white Southerners against blacks. The white man has killed a black child, and his plea of “self-defense” exemplifies the perspective among Southern whites that Reconstruction had led to “black rule.” The cartoon appeared just a few weeks before the presidential election.
What do you do when a social media photo needs black friends and none of your many African-American amigos are around? There’s an app for that, new DVRSE. [NSFW F-bombs, etc.]
But wait, there’s more!
(PNS reporting from ATLANTA) After narrowly beating “Flamin’ Hot Cheetos,” “Kool Super Longs” and “40-Ounce Malt Liquor” to become the syrup flavor that “most accurately captures the taste of the African-American experience,” the winner, Chicken ‘N Waffles syrup, has been put into production by syrup giant Torani.
The family-owned company, known for sweet coffee additives like vanilla and chocolate syrups, is convinced white Americans will crave “the special tang this sweet ‘n’ sassy syrup adds” to the four-dollar lattes they consume several times a day.
Torani’s move is “baffling” and “an outrage,” Clarence K. Dabra, president of the Atlanta-based American Black Restauranteurs Association (ABRA) told PNS.
Randy Newman weighs in on the election with I’m Dreaming of a White President.
Here’s streaming audio and a free download:
Thank you, NAACP for the invitation to espeak here, and Bishop Graves for your introduction. Thanks also to President Ben Jealous and your weird last name.
Good mornings, black humans. I am Mexican Mitt Romney. I know it is crazy to speak to you here at the NAACP, but guatever.
I will not be the Presidente for only the East Coast, or the West Coast. I do not believe in your geographic gang rivalries. I want to be the Presidente for all the people, but mainly the rich people. I know you already have Black Reagan as your Presidente, but hear me out.
Tomorrow Vice President Joe Biden will speak before you, please do not let him drink a 40-ouncer before he comes onstage, just sayin’. I won’t let any special interests like black people get in the way, whoops, that’s from my GOP nomination speech.
Although many are shocked by presidential pretender Rick Santorum’s proposal to consider statehood for Puerto Rico if it drops Spanish and espeaks English, it turns out this idea is only the newest of his Brainfarts Brainstorms for America.
Here are the Pocho Ocho:
8. Mexico’s Los Tigres del Norte will be offered citizenship if they lose their stripes
7. Jews get to go to Catholic Heaven if they stop being, you know, Jews
6. African-Americans get access to high-paying Wall Street jobs when they straighten out that hair thing