The inspiration flows as Rocky Mountain Mike (plus Steve and Mary on backup vocals) channel the 1967 Tremeloes hit Silence Is Golden in this tribute to the PEE-OTUS.
LiveLeak’s Jeffrey Barber has some serious warnings for you guys so listen up, K?
The pulsating you can see on this desk are YOYO NIOPION. These are extraterrestrial termites. They voraciously consumer not only wood, but everything. I mean EVERYTHING! but stone. They eat glass, steel, aluminum, plastic, wood, but most of all, they like, lithium. They thrive on lithium.
The two places that lithium is big in our reality are batteries, and in our brains. The YOYO NIOPION eat both of these things.
Scary, right? You don’t know the half of it!
There’s nothing wrong with any of these state-of-the-art electronic spying devices we picked up at the NSA year-end auction. They’re new, they’re still in the original packaging and they are the very best in the world, except for one thing:
They are last year’s models.
That’s just not the way your National Security Agency rolls.
So check out these two items just released for sale (click to enlarge) and if you want to see more, click on the big link below.
Our new drone flights were designed with you in mind.
Your Central Intelligence Agency is now offering select targets the option of upgrading to CIA Business Class Drone Flights.
For a small fee, you’ll get exclusive benefits and special treatment:
- E-checkout. NSA computers update your Facebook and Twitter accounts within seconds of your confirmed elimination.
- Expedited departure. No lines. No waiting. No trial. No judicial review.
(ALBUQUERQUE, NM) The Feds have arrested a man who allegedly threatened to detonate a bomb-filled burrito (artist’s conception, right) in the FBI office here, a man who has claimed that he was personally the subject of government spying.
His shocking accusation?
Uncle Sam AKA Tio Sam implanted brain-tapping equipment in his cabeza.
Brian DeMarco, 50, a resident of the Super 8 Motel off of Coors Boulevard, revealed to authorities that the government “placed a tracking device inside his head” in addition to “beaming photons.”
If confirmed, his allegation would dovetail perfectly with a POCHO Mexclusive story about how the National Security Agency (NSA) has outsourced surveillance of Americans in border states to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA.)
Great Britain’s MI5 and MI6 are American partners in Europe. Israel’s Mossad and Shin Bet have the Mideast portfolio.
And in Latino communities in the United Estates, invading your privacy has been outsourced to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA).
Paranoid yet? Here are the Pocho Ways to tell if the Mexican Security Agency (MSA) is espying on you:
8. Neighborhood burros watch you suspiciously after you wake up from your cactus-shaded siesta.
7. Whenever you post that you ROFLMAO when you really only LOL, you get an anonymous text that says “En boca cerrada, no entran moscas.”
6. When Chivas fans do the “Mexican wave” on TV, they hold up big cards that spell out your email password.
Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro (he may be the new president by the time you read this) has accused the United Estates of poisoning dead Hugo Chavez with special commie-killing cancer.
We talked to our sources in the intelligence community to compile the pocho ocho most likely ways the U.S. could have given Commissar Chavez the deadly disease:
7. Pinche high-fructose corn syrup
6. GMO salmon
Don’t scoff. Don’t laugh. The Mayan Apocalypse End of The World As We Know It is December 21. [SYNCHRONIZE YOUR CHRONOMETERS WITH OUR COUNTDOWN CLOCK IN THE RIGHT COLUMN.] Australian Prime Minister Julia Gillard knows what the real deal is, and she says goodbye to her all her Ozzie mates in this video from December 5, which just floated into POCHO headquarters from the Juander Down Under.