Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro (he may be the new president by the time you read this) has accused the United Estates of poisoning dead Hugo Chavez with special commie-killing cancer.
We talked to our sources in the intelligence community to compile the pocho ocho most likely ways the U.S. could have given Commissar Chavez the deadly disease:
7. Pinche high-fructose corn syrup
6. GMO salmon
3. Sitting him next to Jan Brewer on a private jet
2. The Old Fidel Castro Exploding Cigar Trick
And the numero uno way the CIA could have given Hugo Chavez cancer is…
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