Eric Brown, 36, of Pt. Lucie, FL, is awaiting an arraignment for “assault” because he allegedly threw a Taco Bell burrito in his 16-year-old brother-in-law’s face.
Just so you don’t run afoul of the Law of Burritos, make note of the pocho ocho things you should never EVER do with a Taco Bell burrito:
8. Smoosh it in a 16-year-old’s face
7. Use it as a suppository
6. Mix with papier mache to make a piñata
5. Let your abuelita know you purchased it
4. Feed it to the dog
3. Use it as a substitute for foam in tuck-and-roll upholstery for your ranfla
2. Speak with it in Español
And the numero uno thing you should never EVER do with a Taco Bell burrito is…
Actually eat the burrito
Affidavit courtesy The Smoking Gun. ElEresNerd, S.J. Rivera and Maria Purisima contributed to this report.