Let’s get real – canned menudo is way better than your abuela’s
I’d rather eat canned menudo than whatever is cooking in your kitchen.
I said it and I don’t regret it.
The reasons are simple and clear; here are four:
Mas…Let’s get real – canned menudo is way better than your abuela’s
This is my new motto: ‘WWND? What would nana do?’
While advances in technology make some areas of our lives easier, good old-fashioned child rearing has become more complicated.
In our grandparent’s day, it was a simpler time. They didn’t have the luxury of worrying about play dates and preschool applications.
I have a motto that has become a guiding principle for applying “old school” methods to present day parenting.
What would nana do?
I’m barely awake, preparing breakfast while holding the baby, trying to sip on day old coffee when my toddler asks me to cut her bread into shapes.
WWND? In nana’s day, a square slice was the only shape you were going to get.
It’s 4:30 pm, the witching hour. Despite the baby screaming all day, I’ve proudly set the table and prepared a healthy dinner. My toddler takes one look at her plate and breaks down in tears because she wants ice cream for dinner.
Abuela with iPad terrorizes area family via Facebook
(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Rigoberto “Rigo” Chavez, 15, cringed in horror when he logged into Facebook Thursday morning and received a notification that his abuelita had once again commented on his status.
The high school junior had posted a status that read “$waaaag$” and Abuelita replied in ALL CAPS:
CACHORRITO ERES LA LUZ DE MI VIDA. CUIDATE MUCHO TE QUIERO
Woman needs stricter hubby test than ‘not a drunk, won’t beat me’
(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Sandra Ceballos made a shocking discovery Friday night when she was out with her girlfriends.
The standards she’d been using to find a good husband were, as her friend Jenny put it, “appallingly low.”
Ceballos, whose family is from Mexico, was raised to believe that if a man is not too much of a drunk, works hard, and doesn’t beat you, he’s “good husband material.”
Mas…Woman needs stricter hubby test than ‘not a drunk, won’t beat me’
Abuelita Reviews: These Kanye-style shades are cray-cray (video)
Abuelita wants to step up her look with cool-looking shades, so she’s checking out Kanye West style sunglasses, John Lennon specs and heavy black hipster models. Which style is right for her?
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
Mas…Abuelita Reviews: These Kanye-style shades are cray-cray (video)
Abuelita Reviews: Lingerie – Which bra is right for you? (video)
Abuelita (Altagracia Guzman) knows her chichis (or “titties” as she calls them) and which bras are best – the padded bra or la flimsy, risqué model.
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
Mas…Abuelita Reviews: Lingerie – Which bra is right for you? (video)
Abuelita Reviews: Snacks — healthy or not healthy? (video)
Which is better — healthy nori seaweed snacks or fatty, spicy bad-carb-loaded chips? Your Abuelita knows best!
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
Mas…Abuelita Reviews: Snacks — healthy or not healthy? (video)
Abuelita Fashionista! Grandma reviews men’s undies (video)
What kind of men’s chonies does your grandma like? Boxers? Briefs? La Flama’s Abuelita has her own opinions.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHONIES:
Mas…Abuelita Fashionista! Grandma reviews men’s undies (video)
Abuela Mexi-twerks to marimba street band (video)
When a killer marimba street band starts laying down epic beats, what’s Abuelita to do? Dance, dance baby.
Grandmother: What a big beatbox you have! (video)
When this Mexican abuelita gets to beatboxing, no one is safe!
Twerking abuelita brings all the boys to the yard (video)
Face it, pochos. You don’t get to be an abuelita unless you know how to dance for a fella!
Maybe we really DO need Hispanic Heritage Month (toon)
PREVIOUSLY ON RICK BAYLESS:
Pocho Ocho absolutely worst things to do with a Taco Bell burrito
Eric Brown, 36, of Pt. Lucie, FL, is awaiting an arraignment for “assault” because he allegedly threw a Taco Bell burrito in his 16-year-old brother-in-law’s face.
Just so you don’t run afoul of the Law of Burritos, make note of the pocho ocho things you should never EVER do with a Taco Bell burrito:
8. Smoosh it in a 16-year-old’s face
7. Use it as a suppository
6. Mix with papier mache to make a piñata
Mas…Pocho Ocho absolutely worst things to do with a Taco Bell burrito
Quick, hide! The GOP is channeling my dead Abuelita!
Some people think the Republican Party has gone crazy; others just think they are severely out of touch.
Both of these assumption are wrong.
The GOP has been possessed by the spirit of my dear late Abuela Elisa to spite me for being such a malcriada. If you don’t believe en los espiritos, explain this:
Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling
I wear a 34C bra. My boyfriend is always scoping out girls with bigger boobs. Should I get implants?
Dear Titi Caca,
Here’s what you need to do: Tell your boyfriend to look in the mirror the next time he wants to see a big boob then dump the pendejo. As for you, make yourself an appointment for a self-esteem implant ASAP. That’s all I have to say. I don’t have time to figure out the root of your insecurities. There are more important things to focus on than your pea-sized mosquito bites.
Do you have any idea how much trouble big chi-chis are? Let me tell you, they can be a real pain in the ass! I mean it, I once flung mine over my shoulders so hard the damned things left bruises on my nalgas.
Love, Your Abuelita
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Gay for a day, my 34C boobs, a career in modeling
Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?
I am a 20-year-old Latino man. My girlfriend will not have sex with me until we get married and she insists she’s a virgin. I’m not sure she’s telling the truth. Is there any way to tell if she’s a virgin or not?
Crazy with Celibacy
Dear Crazy with Celibacy:
Ever hear of “something old, something new, something borrowed and some things are turning blue?” Listen, loco, there is only one sign you should be looking for and it’s an EXIT sign. Head for the hills, better yet, head to where buffalo girls roam and don’t come home until you’ve got your color back. That is unless…
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Is my girlfriend really a virgin? And why no sex now?