(PNS reporting from MAGA-LAGO) President Dotard Trump today blasted international movie star Chewbacca and Democratic presidential wannabe Beto O’Rourke as fakes.
Never one to say no to a good thing, Nickelodeon has opted to cash-in on their Latina golden goose! The morning mail finds our old friend Dora the Explorer all grown up, ten years old, hangin’ with her posse in the City, and, get this, now she has eyebrows.
I am actually all for the saturation of the vidiot network with pint-sized facsimiles of smart, bilingual, Latina animated stars, so I will hold the snark and just point you to some coming attractions!
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Stars from television, music and sports are set to gather in the old A&M sound stages (now the Henson Studios) on La Brea Avenue here today to record a rebuke to Donald Sterling, racist owner of the Los Angeles Clippers.
Galvanized by community organizer Emiliano Zapata Shabazz-Jones, who wears the mantle of slain civil rights pioneer Ricky Martin Luther King, the assembled stars will record The Donald Sterling Song — You Are An ^%$#.
“This ain’t no National Honky League,” Shabazz-Jones wrote in a scorching email scheduling the superstar session, “and we ain’t dancing to no Sweet Georgia Brown on Maggie’s Farm no more!”
What the hell is the matter with television’s longest running bilingual toon whore?
This passive-aggressive little cow yells too much.
She asks a question, then waits silently for the answer while staring at you like a creep. I swear she can see me through the TV screen!
This unemployed bitch has been on air for almost 13 years now and she hasn’t figured out why her backpack is on acid and why her pet monkey stole her boots.
Ask the monkey, it fucking talks, dumbass!
So, a couple of weeks ago, there was this link going around that depicts certain 90s cartoon characters “taking on” New York fashion week in trendy outfits. Among them are Lisa Simpson and Daria. When I saw this, the first thing I thought was, Ugh. Lisa Simpson, proud feminist with so much to say about gender roles, body shaming and capitalism, drawn in this hyper-thin, rich girl way? Why, baby Jesus? Why? My friends had the same question, plus not-so-thrilled reactions to Daria. You know Daria, who once said, …”edgy” occurs when middle-brow, middle-aged profiteers are looking to suck the energy–not to mention spending money–out of the “youth culture”? Yep, that Daria is depicted in overpriced clothes, standing in front of a Mercedes dealership. Yuck.
I mean, just look around! The GOP is embracing Latinos (har, har) and there are products everywhere like Tide Latino, Ford Latino, Clorox Latino, Latino socks, Latino water, Latino sunlight. Hell, there’s even a PETA Latino now! These Hispanic marketeers know no bounds!
Recently, Latina.com named the “30 most iconic Latino TV characters of the past 60 years.”
My only problem with that is their elastic definition of “Latino.” Many of their icon choices are either stereotypes or just plain questionable. They could have named their article “We’re reaching here, so bear with us, and buy some Latino Tide!”
I’ll run down a few of the more questionable picks and let you decide who makes the cut. Are they iconic? Are they Latino? Are they iconic Latinos?? Gasp! You be the judge. And for the love of Latino Jesus, make sure you buy some corporate Latino products while you’re at it.
They were ordinary people living ordinary lives, until one singular sensation of circumstances conspired with fate to make them UNSUNG HEROES OF HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH
Before the scandal surrounding his arrest for shoplifting and hoarding Hello Kitty backpacks ended his career, ace character creator and animator Trevor Pecklehamm III was Hollywood’s go-to guy if you needed help in perfecting your cartoon concept for the networks.
Well, really, you have to laugh at the trailer. But how does the Dora the Explorer film, starring Ariel Winter (Modern Family), stack up against Dora La Conquistadora?
Here’s La Conquistadora now:
(PNS reporting from SESAME STREET) On the same day that President Obama announced an immigration policy that will make it easier for young undocumented immigrants to remain in Los United Estates, Arizona’s numero uno douchebag, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, announced the arrest of a six-year-old girl suspected of leading the infamous Cártel de Elmo de Los Cookie Monster Ganga.
The Arizona Bugle reported that the girl was with 15 other cartel members who were traveling to the Midwest and northeast United States. Also arrested: Big Bird, Mr. Snuffleupagus, Prairie Dawn, Curly Bear, Bert, Grover and Guy Smiley. According to Chris Hegstrom, spokesman for the Sheriff’s Office, this is the “single biggest cartel bust” in Maricopa County history.
And even though the girl was old enough to get arrested, she was not old enough to have her name released, according to Hegstrom. “This is huge for us and for Joe – just huge. Arpaio is an expert when it comes to sleuthing dangerous things…like children and phony birth certificates.”
POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (he commutes coast-to-coast so he can work nights as Senior Latino Correspondent for The Daily Show) went to Tucson AZ to find out why students there aren’t allowed to take classes in Mexican-American history.
Cameras running, Al interviewed a school board official who was apparently high on ignorance, stupidity and hate.
These are the POCHO stories that broke the ñews this week: