fbi

The continuing saga of Donald Trump, the Hustler

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trumpanzee

Trump — as President of the United States — has continued to hustle the American public

In a September essay, I argued that then-presidential candidate Donald J. Trump was hustling the American public. Now, thanks to the support of the FBI’s James Comey,* Russia’s Vladimir Putin and WikiLeaks’ Julian Assange, Trump — as President of the United States — has continued to hustle the American public. Given his mastery, his next book should be titled The Art of the American Hustle.

Mas…The continuing saga of Donald Trump, the Hustler

BREAKING: Bernie Bros’ exploding heads spur FBI zombie alert

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fbizombies(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) The FBI is warning citizens to be on the lookout for hungry zombies attracted by the brains spewed from the exploding heads of diehard Bernie Bros.

Bernie Sanders supporters’ brains, the Feds said, are piling up on the streets of gentrified neighborhoods across America.

The brainiac explosions followed Sanders’ endorsement of Democratic presidential nomination rival Hillary Clinton this morning.

“These zombies especially love the entitled taste of Bernie Bro brains,” FBI spokesman Whitman “Ken” Jump told a press conference here today (photo). “We’re calling them Zombros.“

Mas…BREAKING: Bernie Bros’ exploding heads spur FBI zombie alert

Mexclusive: Beware the New World Order Deadly Space Termites

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LiveLeak’s Jeffrey Barber has some serious warnings for you guys so listen up, K?

The pulsating you can see on this desk are YOYO NIOPION. These are extraterrestrial termites. They voraciously consumer not only wood, but everything. I mean EVERYTHING! but stone. They eat glass, steel, aluminum, plastic, wood, but most of all, they like, lithium. They thrive on lithium.

The two places that lithium is big in our reality are batteries, and in our brains. The YOYO NIOPION eat both of these things.

Scary, right? You don’t know the half of it!

Mas…Mexclusive: Beware the New World Order Deadly Space Termites

Feds arrest ‘burrito-bomber’ who says CIA tapped his brain

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(ALBUQUERQUE, NM) The Feds have arrested a man who allegedly threatened to detonate a bomb-filled burrito (artist’s conception, right) in the FBI office here, a man who has claimed that he was personally the subject of government spying.

His shocking accusation?

Uncle Sam AKA Tio Sam implanted brain-tapping equipment in his cabeza.

Brian DeMarco, 50, a resident of the Super 8 Motel off of Coors Boulevard, revealed to authorities that the government “placed a tracking device inside his head” in addition to “beaming photons.”

If confirmed, his allegation would dovetail perfectly with a POCHO Mexclusive story about how the National Security Agency (NSA) has outsourced surveillance of Americans in border states to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA.)

KRQE reports:

Mas…Feds arrest ‘burrito-bomber’ who says CIA tapped his brain

Pocho Ocho ways to tell the MSA is esnooping and espying on ustedes

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It’s not just the National Security Agency (NSA) doing the esnooping and espying.

Great Britain’s MI5 and MI6 are American partners in Europe. Israel’s Mossad and Shin Bet have the Mideast portfolio.

And in Latino communities in the United Estates, invading your privacy has been outsourced to the Mexican Security Agency (MSA).

Paranoid yet? Here are the Pocho Ways to tell if the Mexican Security Agency (MSA) is espying on you:

8. Neighborhood burros watch you suspiciously after you wake up from your cactus-shaded siesta.

7. Whenever you post that you ROFLMAO when you really only LOL, you get an anonymous text that says “En boca cerrada, no entran moscas.”

6. When Chivas fans do the “Mexican wave” on TV, they hold up big cards that spell out your email password.

Mas…Pocho Ocho ways to tell the MSA is esnooping and espying on ustedes