Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY)  Mexico is throwing in the towel — and picking up a broom — after Club America’s humiliating defeat to Toronto FC in the CONCACAF Champions League semi-final Tuesday night.  The loss signaled the death of the country’s storied soccer tradition.

After the 4-2 aggregate defeat, club officials for the Mexico City-based team said the result left little choice but to seek other options for a new national sport.

Mas…Mexico dumps futbol, switches to curling after sad Club America loss

Pocho Ocho top changes to expect now that Univision owns The Onion

univisiononionNow that UNIVISION has become a part owner of The Onion, our media analysts have compiled the Pocho Ocho top changes you can expect from the new corporation:

8. Daily stories tagged #TelemundoFail

7. Don Francisco’s triumphant return to TV as Area Man

6. Univision closes failing millennial-oriented website The Cilantro

Mas…Pocho Ocho top changes to expect now that Univision owns The Onion

Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL

brazilsadTuesday’s disastrous Brazil-Germany FIFA2014 World Cup futbol match, which ended in Germany whipping the host country 7-1, has saddened the nation (photo.) And on Wednesday, Brazil’s soccer fans were struggling to understand what exactly went wrong.

We analyzed press and social media reactions and translated from the Portuguese to bring you their Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil’s FAIL:

8. Blame it on the bossa nova, with its magic spell.

7. All those pesky Hitler clones on the Brazil team let Germany win.

6. Alemania? We thought we were playing Ally McBeal!

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons for Brazil vs Alemania futbol FAIL

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make chilaquiles for the World Cup

chilaquilesHello. Is Tia Lencha here. I haves the World Cup feber. Do ju?

Is the feber ju get from watching the World Cups and being so mad at the referees and Holland and wonder who put brujeria on Brazil, that ju want to hit the telebision with a cuchara from the kishen. But I watch the games anyways.

The only gway I can watch the games now is to drink some micheladas to make me want to hit the telebision less times. So today I tell ju how to make chilaquiles to go with the beers that ju need in order to watch the games of the third place and the finals this week.

First the ingrediens:

Area futbol fans celebrate El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia (photo)

mexicosoccer(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON PARK, CALIFAS) Hundreds of local athletic supporters — fans of the Mexican World Cup futbol team — celebrated El Tri’s 3-1 victory over Croatia Monday afternoon (photo, above). The celebration was mostly peaceful and Huntington Park police said only four fans were arrested — three for disorderly conduct and one for leaning like a cholo in the wrong direction.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

 

Brazil TV guy tries to punk Mexicans with extra-picante salsa (video)


When a Brazilian TV guy tries to prank visiting Mexican futbol fans with what he thinks is super-spicy salsa, it turns out the joke is actually on him. What’s uber picante in Brazil, tu sabes, ranks as “meh” to Mexicanos. One intended victim actually thinks Brazil-boy’s salsa is kind of “sweet.”

PREVIOUSLY ON SALSA:

Mas…Brazil TV guy tries to punk Mexicans with extra-picante salsa (video)

MexiCanada: Montreal mayor fights poutine burritos – ‘pou-tos’

poutineburrito(PNS reporting from MONTREAL, QUEBEC) Authorities here are scrambling to halt the spread of a Mexicanized version of poutine, Canada’s beloved national dish of French fries covered with gravy and cheese.

The increasingly-popular poutine burrito, known as a “pou-to” or “poutito” (photo, above) has already swept through Montreal, and officials fear “pou-tos” will cross the Quebec provincial border into neighboring Ontario.

Mas…MexiCanada: Montreal mayor fights poutine burritos – ‘pou-tos’