Trump sings ‘Despacito’ to Joint Session of Congress (fake news video)
We got this video from the new dude in the White House — The Mooch. He’s a communicatin’ kinda guy.
House Speaker Paul Ryan reveals GOP’s health care plan (photo)
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) Speaker of the House Paul Ryan, R-Wis., revealed the GOP’s proposed Obamacare replacement Tuesday.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
(PNS reporting from LOS ANGELES) Carmen Reinhart and Kenneth Rogoff, authors of the mathematically-challenged Growth in a Time of Debt pro-“austerity” study, and Jason Richwine, the Heritage Foundation researcher who claimed Hispanics have lower IQs, are the recipients of the 2013 Carlos Castaneda Award for Academic Bullshit, it was announced today.
The prize is named for the Peruvian-born UCLA anthropologist and cult leader who wrote several best-selling books about a Yaqui brujo that were marketed as truth but turned out to be bullshit. It’s presented annually to “those academic authors who manage to fool some of the people some of the time.”
The award, which features a $19.99 monthly stipend and a year’s supply of vegetarian “sausage” for the winners, is a community project of the Soyrizo Foundation of Los Angeles, which is “dedicated to recognizing and celebrating phony-ass shit wherever we find it, with a spicy Latin flair,” executive vice president Penn O. Kehoe said in a foundation press release.
Mas…Flash: Three authors get Castaneda Research Bullshit Award
Mexican Mitt’s ‘I Am the Juan Percent’ animated music video
Enjoy the ELECTION EVE WORLD PREMIERE of Mexican Mitt Romney‘s first animated music video! Share it with your friends!
New music from @MexicanMitt Romney: ‘The Juan Percent’ (video)
Popular and controversial Twitter character and POCHO contributor MexicanMitt Romney sings for himself in this post-Republican Convention lament, a new song to mark his release from Twitterham Jail. It’s called The Juan Percent. Co-starring Rafalca Romney and Pollo Ryan.
Mitt Romney takes lie detector test at 1982 press conference (video)
This 1982-vintage video shows Mitt Romney — attached to a lie detector machine — at press conference. There is nothing new under the sun.
Tampa’s gay hookers ready for Republican Convention (NSFW video)
There’s going to be hot time in Tampa Bay next week when the GOP National Convention rolls into town. Republicans, who like to be seen as “job creators,” are expected to stimulate a long and thick boost in business for area gay prostitutes, and the hookers are looking forward to handling the hanging chads of closeted delegates. (Totally NSFW language.)
GOP’s Akin to release childrens’ book on babies
(PNS reporting from MISSOURI) Rep. (and Senatorial hopeful) Todd Akin (R-MO) intends to write and publish a children’s book that explains to kids how babies are made, according to his staff.
The colorful How Non-Forcible Rape Babies Are Made explains Akin’s understanding of how the human reproductive system works in clear, simple language and bright illustrations especially written for Tea Party Republican voters who approve of his recent comments on rape and pregnancy.
The touchy subject is elucidated in loving and religious detail:
When a rapist loves a mommy, Jesus reaches down from heaven and touches the mommy’s tummy and the miracle of life is created. The end.
Ñewsweek: Driving while fluffy, yo quiero taxes, Pro Tips for Latinos
The Hate State of Arizona retained its leading position as the most anti-Latino state in the country as the witchy bitchy governor, Jan Brewer, decided that DREAMERS who apply for Deferred Action should be denied state service like drivers’ licenses.
Also in Arizona, husky humorist Gabriel Iglesias’ tour bus got pulled over for a papers check. In Texas, a humble farmworker released his income tax returns and asked GOP nominee wannabe Mitt Romney to do the same and POCHO offered Pro Tips for Latinos working in The Office.
These were the stories that broke the ñews this week:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Driving while fluffy, yo quiero taxes, Pro Tips for Latinos
Paul Ryan’s Pocho Ocho favorite bands besides RATM
Now that we know that GOP VP pick Paul “Unclear on the Details” Ryan loves anti-establishment (and anti-Ryan) L.A. pocho punk band Rage Against the Machine, we thought we’d check out what else is on his playlist.
Here are the Pocho Ocho most-played bands on the pendejo’s iPod:
8. Johnny Rebel
7. The Michelle Bachmann Corndog Quartet
6. Das Racist
GOP VP pick Paul Ryan is the ‘machine’ that RATM rages against
Tom Morello is a meanie who makes Paul Ryan cry.
The powerful guitarist of Rage Against the Machine has blasted a thunderous riff on Mitt Romney’s running mate, Paul Ryan.
Ryan, in a typical blockheaded, know-nothing right wing move, has declared that the left wing, bomb-throwing, anti-establishment rock group (fronted by fellow pocho Zach de La Rocha) is his favorite band. Talk about not paying attention to details! (It must be hard to think when he works out with P90X to the powerful guitar rock rolas.)
Maybe this is why Ryan is painfully oblivious to the suffering going on in the U.S. when the uber wealthy continue to hoard all the money and leave the rest of us to scrape by.
Could be why he thinks giving tax cuts to the 1% and making the rest of us pay for it is a Christian act?
No wonder he does not flinch when people call him a “zombie-eyed Granny starver.” Maybe it’s not that he doesn’t care — maybe he has no pinche idea what is going on around him. Either way, it’s not exactly the kind of leadership the U.S. needs right now.
Mas…GOP VP pick Paul Ryan is the ‘machine’ that RATM rages against
Breaking Ñews: GOP VP pick Paul Ryan reveals his new budget plan
(PNS reporting from KANSAS CITY) GOP Vice Presidential candidate Rep. Paul Ryan, R-Wis., is introducing his budget plan to voters today and POCHO is on the scene as he begins his press conference (photo, above.)
- Check back with POCHO for updates — we break the ñews 24/7.