Jan Brewja: Save time, hassle with the Self-Deportation Station (video)


All real Arizonans know it’s a pain in the AZ to racially-profile, harass, arrest and then deport people who look different from you! That’s why Gov. Jan Brewer is pleased to announce her automagic, high-tech, made-in-America, job-creating final solution for all those damn Mexicans.

Inspired by pioneering self-deportationist Daniel D. Portado, Brewja is introducing nifty new Self-Deportation Stations that make racism look quick, easy and clean.

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Pocho Ocho suggested names for new Nogales MIGRA robot

He’s artificially intelligent, muy guapo with dark hair and blue eyes, plus he speaks and understands Spanish and English. He also has a new, high-profile job with Tio Sam’s U.S. Customs and Border Protection Service interviewing people crossing into Los United Estates at Nogales, AZ (photo, above.)

What’s he missing aside from a body and an analog existence? This poor robovato needs a name; right now his bosses just refer to him as the AVATAR (Automated Virtual Agent for Truth Assessments in Real-Time.)

Here are the Pocho Ocho names we like best:

8. Mex Headroom
7. C3 Pito
6. Will Robinson

Mas…Pocho Ocho suggested names for new Nogales MIGRA robot

Daniel D. Portado: The 90s Are Back and So Am I! (video)


(PNS reporting from ALTA CALIFORNIA) The original militant self-deportationist Daniel D. Portado is back and proud as punch that his ex-boss Pete Wilson has endorsed GOP wannabe Mitt Rammane. Romney has already advocated self-deportation, as Portado told Rachel Maddow, and that means Romney endorses Portado! “Attention mojados,” he warns in this video. “It’s time to self-deport!”

S. J. Rivera: My Guantanamo Bay self-deportation book tour

Self-interview AND self-photograph!

(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) Ace Pocho Ñews Service contributor, author and hardcore poet (Demon in the Mirror and Amerikkkan Stories) S. J. Rivera sat down to talk to himself about his Self-Deportation Book Tour and what it’s like to have a book signing at Guantanamo Bay.

PNS: Your new book is AmeriKKKan Stories (Hardcore Poetry) – is it a Klan book or…?

S. J. Rivera: Yes and no. Actually there’s a very true story in there about the time I ran a guy over with my car. His name was Donny and I hit him on purpose because he may or may not have been in the klan(Hi, Donny!)  There’s stuff in there about redneck zen, badmouthing the government, pochismo, fat Elvis, EMS horror stories, McDonald’s Nazis – you name it, it’s in there.

Mas…S. J. Rivera: My Guantanamo Bay self-deportation book tour

Daniel D. Portado tells Rachel Maddow about ‘self-deportation’ (video)

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POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz joined the Rachel Maddow show on MSNBC Wednesday evening to discuss the fictional Daniel D. Portado character he created in 1994 to mock a racist California anti-immigrant measure. Lalo’s “self-deportation” hoax solution for undocumented residents was reborn last week as GOP hopeful Mitt Romney suggested “illegal” immigrants should “self-deport.”

Meet Daniel D. Portado, the original ‘self-deportationist’

(PNS reporting from CYBERESPACE) Although Mitt Romney has lately been in the news for promoting self-deportation, there is someone who beat him to the concept back in the 1990s — Daniel D. Portado. The self-proclaimed “original self-deportationist” encouraged others to follow his example and self-deport during California’s brush with anti-immigration legislation in the 1990s.

In this current round of self-deportation, groups have sprung up to actually promote self-deportation, and Romney’s rhetoric has been taken seriously in some politically conservative circles. We interviewed Daniel D. Portado about self-deportation and here’s what he said.

PNS: Rumor has it that you are the original self deportation asked, is that true?

Daniel D. Portado: Yes. I clearly invented self-deportation in 1994 during the wonderful Proposition 187 era in California. I founded the group “Hispanics For Wilson”, a GOP support group of Governor Pete Wilson. Wilson correctly wanted to chase all the illegals out of California after they were done mowing our lawns, but before payday.

Mas…Meet Daniel D. Portado, the original ‘self-deportationist’