The racist regime of President Donald Trump — an ignorant demagogue without a single Latino in his cabinet — has removed the Spanish section of the presidential website at whitehouse.gov — but wait, THERE’S MORE!
The Pendejo-in-Chief is also proposing additional anti-Espanol purification of the language. Here are the Presidential Prick’s Pocho Ocho Top Changes::
8. Chocolatl will now be known as Swiss Miss.
7. Latinos are now Invisible.
6. Marihuana will be called Kale.
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON D.C.) President Barack Obama will launch a new career when his term ends — a career as a jazz saxophonist, PNS has learned.
Insiders at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue say the president has been spending almost every weekend for the last six months practicing his tenor saxophone, a gift from former President Bill Clinton, rehearsing, and recording with his band. His first CD — Barry Blows the Blues — will drop January 21, the day after Donald Trump’s inauguration.
Sources tell us these are the Pocho Ocho Top Tunes — recorded in “Living Stereo” — featured on Barry Blows the Blues:
8. Yes, I Kenya
7. Livin’ in a Cracker’s Paradise
Winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature Bob Dylan is a poet and a prophet, and he sang his 1964 prophecy for the Obamas and America at the White House: The Times They Are A-Changin’. [Scroll to bottom of the page for a live in 1964 version.]
These lyrics contain a hopeful vision and a warning. Some changes are STILL overdue, and some folks need to step back, and get out of the way.
PREVIOUSLY ON LA CUCARACHA: HISTORY IS HARD:
Our Mexican friends have many misconceptions about today’s American celebration of El Ocho de Mayo. It is NOT the day the British burned the White House, for example, and it is NOT the day Gerry Rivers became Geraldo Rivera.
Help a hermano out with the Pocho Ocho Top Facts Mexicans Should Know about El Ocho de Mayo:
8. Best (Hellman’s in the East) Mayonnaise — El Jefe de Mayo — first introduced on this day in 1915.
7. Mayo West did not invent the life vest but she did flash her chichis to the sailors of the aircraft carrier USS Hooter on this day in 1942.
6. The Mayo Clinic — originally established to seek cures for La Cruda — opened its doors on this day in 1955.
Our sources at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue have shared a copy of the 5 PM EST speech and we can now reveal the Pocho Ocho top immigration reforms you’ll hear in the President’s address to the Nation:
8. If Central American child refugees can pat their heads and rub their tummies at the same time, they can cut in line.
7. Families of DREAMers are OK to stay if they mow the lawn.
6. Badges, stinking or otherwise, no longer needed.
Pocha sweetheart Linda Ronstadt was awarded a National Medal of Arts by President Barack Obama on Monday, citing the singer’s “one-of-a-kind voice and her decades of remarkable music.” The actual awards start after 5:30 or so in the video.
Sadly, Ronstadt can no longer sing. This spring, she told Diane Sawyer why:
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, DC) The GOP knows who to blame for today’s partial Federal government shutdown.
“An unidentified black man came along out of nowhere, drew a gun and demanded that Republicans shut down the government,” according to Speaker of the House John Boehner (R-OH).
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) President Barack Obama has abruptly dismissed the possibility of launching a U.S. military action against Syria and opted for another world trouble spot.
“I am making preparations to bomb Twerky,” the President declared in a nationally-televised speech Friday afternoon. “It is clear that Syria has used banned chemical weapons against its own people, but I must be guided by what is in the best interests of the United States, and the actual clear and present danger to our nation is coming from Twerky.”
After we visited the White House, we went to look at where our money went — over at the Department of the Treasury:
Brown Republican Mr. Criminal has some serious political ambitions. Painting the White House brown is just the beginning. (NSFW lyrics.)
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal explains to Jon Stewart the tough but fair conditions Latinos will impose on Republicans hoping to one day win back the White House. [Disclosure: Al Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal goes to Washington, D.C. to meet with demonstrators who want Puerto Rico to become America’s 51st state. [Disclaimer: Al is POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]
Obama will announce the No, White Girl, You Cannot Touch My Hair Act in a speech in Oklahoma City on Thursday.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
This just in from our friend, installation artist Ramiro Gomez Jr., who is in Washington, D.C.
It looks like an immigrant family was at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue today, on the outside looking in.
Even the Washington Post paid attention.
Here’s the full-sized photo — click to enlarge:
(PNS reporting from LA FLORIDA) In a shocking post-election development, the state formerly known as Florida will no longer be a part of the United States of America. After gaining the required 25,000 petition signatures needed to elicit a response from the White House, Florida has been granted permission to secede from the U.S.
When asked why he was so swift to let the Sunshine State go, President Bronco Bama was concise:
Because fuck Florida.
As the dust settled in the wake of the President’s decisive re-election, the White House “We the People” website has been flooded by a series of secession requests from conservative crybabies from New Jersey to Oregon.
President Barack Obama’s announcement today that he is halting the possible deportation of up to 800,000 DREAMERs has the right wing (racist) blogosphere in fits. Example: The Drudge Report (owned by Matt Drudge, who does not love sex with men) was so freaked out, they posted this headline and image but later took it down. POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz grabbed a screenshot first, though. Mira!
Yesterday I drew and subsequently shared on Facebook my syndicated editorial cartoon on Dolores Huerta receiving her Presidential Medal of Freedom (above.)
Many of you shared it, as was my request. Thank you! We are all proud of the living legend Dolores Huerta, and the respect she has garnered, especially this week.
However one person, an FB user named Steven downloaded my heartfelt artwork, defaced it and even removed my name and made his own anti-Obama and Dolores Huerta statement. His political opinion is not the issue here. I have held much the same anti-political parties opinion in the past. What has angered me is the disrespect to my work as an artist. Let me explain why, just to be completely clear.
The Hate State of Arizona was the scene of three big stories this week:
GOP wannabe Mitt Rammane’s campaign pulled another boner as the campaign co-chair, immigrant-hating sheriff Paul Babeu, tried to explain his way out of allegations he threatened his Mexican immigrant boyfriend with deportation.
Babeu resigned from the campaign but not before Pocho Ñews Service scored a copy of his cancelled TV commercial endorsing Romney. Babeu’s endorsement noted Romney’s support for installing GAYDAR to protect the Arizona border from straight migrants, letting only attractive Gayliens cross over.
Babeu later announced he was ready for any probe of his actions, the deeper the better.
We already know mummy-like AZ Gov. Jan Brewer gets absolutely unraveled whenever she’s near Pres. Barack Obama. But why exactly did she decline to attend tomorrow’s Governor’s Dinner at the White House?
Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Brewer did not accept the President’s invitation:
8– They could not guarantee her a seat next to the open bar
7– She’s going to be busy looking for heads in the desert
6– Sunday night is when she soaks her skin in formaldehyde