Pocho Ocho probable ways the CIA gave Hugo Chavez cancer

by Especial Correspondents on March 5, 2013 in El Now

Venezuelan Vice President Nicolas Maduro (he may be the new president by the time you read this) has accused the United Estates of poisoning dead Hugo Chavez with special commie-killing cancer.

We talked to our sources in the intelligence community to compile the pocho ocho most likely ways the U.S. could have given Commissar Chavez the deadly disease:

8. Horsemeat — it’s what’s for dinner

7. Pinche high-fructose corn syrup

6. GMO salmon

5. Taco Bell burritos

4. The Harlem Shake

3. Sitting him next to Jan Brewer on a private jet

2. The Old Fidel Castro Exploding Cigar Trick

And the numero uno way the CIA could have given Hugo Chavez cancer is…

Soy chorizo.

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