chanclas

It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone X — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
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Vatos Chuy and Smiley made up a Christmas wish list, but they’re checking it twice!

PREVIOUSLY ON NIKE CORTEZ: [Mas…]

First BORDERTOWN Clip! “The Pope Visits the Mexifornia MegaChurch” Bordertown premieres January 3, 930 pm on Fox. We’re all going to hell!

Posted by Lalo Alcaraz on Monday, December 14, 2015

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If the Facebook ^^^^ video won’t play, try this [it may take a minute to load]:
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It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad Pro — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
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girlbootsIt’s summer now, and it’s hot out. And big bulky cowboy boots are far from ideal when it comes to keeping your tootsies chill. What’s a sweaty-footed cowgirl or cowboy to do? [Mas…]

It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPhone 6 — and that’s why we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to survive Black Friday:

8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ on Aisle 3.

7. Shoppers who carry their own rolls of yellow “crime scene” warning tape can easily discourage other shoppers from entering the Home Entertainment Department.

6. Successful shoppers are well-equipped shoppers. Must-have items include snacks, a gas mask, body armor where available and a small knife (plus a newspaper to hide the knife.) Experienced shoppers only: Weaponized chanclas.
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La Cucaracha: Dear NFL – Here’s how to discipline a child (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz October 2, 2014 Cartoons
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PREVIOUSLY ON LA CHANCLA:

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Feds make Sheriff Joe return military gear; he has Plan B

by Especial Correspondents September 19, 2014 Pocho Ñews Service
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(PNS reporting from ARIZONA) Racist Sheriff Joe Arpaio claims the Federal Government’s decision to reclaim “surplus” military gear (like tanks [photo] and M16 rifles) transferred to his department is no big deal since he has already procured new weapons to replace the full-auto rifles Uncle Sam wants back. “Hell no! We don’t need tanks and M16s for these illegals,” […]

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Cheap Chinese chanclas choke Chuy’s Choo Repair

by Comic Saenz July 25, 2014 El Now
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(PNS reporting from CHICAGO) Chuy’s Choo Repair on Ashland has been fixing heels, stretching boots and giving new soles to tired oxfords since 1956, but owner Eddie Calderon doesn’t know how long he can keep his shop open. Calderon (photo, right), whose father opened the business when he returned to Chicago after the Korean War, […]

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La Cucaracha: It’s Summer’s SCARIEST movie! (toon)

by Lalo Alcaraz June 17, 2014 Cartoons
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No joke! Kid gets la chancla after pranking his mom (NSFW video)

by Soy Capitan February 20, 2014 Cultura
Thumbnail image for No joke! Kid gets la chancla after pranking his mom (NSFW video)

Rico thinks it would be funny to turn on his web cam and tell his mother he got his girlfriend pregnant. Mom thinks Rico needs la chancla. [NSFW adult language.] PREVIOUSLY ON LA CHANCLA:

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Obama’s List: Pocho Ocho things more dangerous than alchohol

by Comic Saenz January 22, 2014 El Now
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Former stoner Barack Obama doesn’t think marijuana “is more dangerous than alcohol,” according to The New Yorker: “As has been well documented, I smoked pot as a kid, and I view it as a bad habit and a vice, not very different from the cigarettes that I smoked as a young person up through a […]

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Hey Vato! What we really, really want for Christmas (video)

by EL SANTO CLAUS December 16, 2013 Cultura
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Vatos Chuy and Smiley made up a Christmas wish list, but they’re checking it twice! PREVIOUSLY ON NIKE CORTEZ:

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Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican family/household

by Especial Correspondents December 5, 2013 Cultura
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Here is a listicle partially inspired by a mas longer listicle on BuzzFeed, because they are the listicle professionals, tu sabes. ¡Mira! The Pocho Ocho signs you grew up in a Mexican household/family: 8. Virgen de Guadalupe veladoras. 7. Your first introduction to dramatic acting was a telenovela. 6. You always wondered why gringos celebrated […]

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Old school George Lopez: Loco Comedy Jam (NSFW video)

by Barney Asada November 22, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Old school George Lopez: Loco Comedy Jam (NSFW video)

He’s sexist, rude, not safe for work and very funny. This video (2003 vintage we think) showcases a young George Lopez talking about the homegirls he dates. Lopez manages to squeeze chichis, nalgas, pedos, fat chicks, chanclas, Vicks and swap meets into one short routine. [NSFW adult humor.] PREVIOUSLY ON GEORGE LOPEZ:

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A fashion trend from the 1990s — chanclas with socks — is back

by María Purísima November 13, 2013 Cultura
Thumbnail image for A fashion trend from the 1990s — chanclas with socks — is back

(PNS reporting from NEW YORK CITY) Some fashion trends from the 1990s have been back in vogue for a while — everything from flannel to baby doll dresses and chokers — but one fashion trend has insiders abuzz this Fall: Chanclas with socks, newly re-branded as Chocks. Rebuffed by mainstream fashion in the 1990s, the […]

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Roberta Valderrama stars in ‘The Callback’ (NSFW video)

by Comic Saenz October 2, 2013 Cultura
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PREGUNTA: Why would POCHO run a 15-minute (!) video on a Wednesday without any jokes about chanclas or twerking or nalgas? RESPUESTA: When it stars POCHO amiga Roberta Valderrama. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll jump and shout when you check out The Callback. Roberta plays an actor who maybe is a little too intent on […]

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Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

by EresNerd August 14, 2013 El Now
Thumbnail image for Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

(PNS reporting from SEGUIN, TX) A nine-year-old boy killed El Cucuy Tuesday night. El Cucuy, AKA the Mexican Boogeyman, was pronounced dead at 10:30 PM at the Balli family residence here.  The legendary monster was said to be 521, with a birth date pegged in 1492. It was a more or less typical evening for the […]

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Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’

by Comic Saenz May 7, 2013 El Now
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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America’s observance of Cinco de Mayo on Sunday was the “most dangerous ever” according to a report released here today by the National Institute of Holidays (NIH.) A record 1378 emergency room visits by gringos failing the “chile challenge” were reported by the group as well as 287 “chancla accidents.”

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Pocho Ocho tips for a successful if not safe and sane Black Friday

by Especial Correspondents November 22, 2012 Cultura
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It’s brutal out there, pochos — it’s cut or be cut to save $20 on an iPad. So as a public service we’ve compiled the Pocho Ocho best ways to make your Black Friday quest successful, if not totally safe and sane: 8. In the event store security confiscates your Mace®, pick up some Aqua Net™ […]

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Pocho Ocho must-have Mayan Apocalypse survival kit items

by Especial Correspondents September 28, 2012 Cultura
Thumbnail image for Pocho Ocho must-have Mayan Apocalypse survival kit items

With Mayan Apocalypse Doomsday 2012 under three months away, time is running out to assemble the emergency survival supplies you’ll need in your underground shelter. [Check our countdown clock in the right column.] Remember: Unforeseen dangers and unknown entities will be lurking in your No-Tech Future Hell on Earth (think Mad Max meets the chupacabra), […]

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Small Georgia town bans sale, use of ‘illegal alien paraphernalia’

by EresNerd July 3, 2012 El Now
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(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The City of Morrow, GA voted yesterday to ban “illegal alien paraphernalia.” City Ordinance 187 — the so-called Press A Tortilla Go to Jail law — is a response to the Supreme Court’s ruling that Arizona  SB 1070 was mostly unconstitutional. The small town (population 4882) banned the sale and use within […]

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Ñewsweek: Chanclas, foreskins, gay political football, meaning of life

by Comic Saenz May 13, 2012 El Now
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“If the chancla flies, your mom is wise,” noted defense attorney Juan E. Cocran told the court, and we’ve got video to prove it. The epic flying chanclas video topped the list of big estories on POCHO this week, but only just squeezed out the Mexclusive guest editorial by GOP nominee wannabe Mexican Mitt Romney, […]

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Spring cholo fashion tips from Le Smoké light up Montebello

by Oscar Barajas April 10, 2012 Cultura
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(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) Fresh cholo fashion tips brought style and fabulous funké decadence to the Montebello Town Center over the Easter weekend at fashion magistrate Le Smoké’s semiannual Eastsider Estilo Eshow, Low Rider Expo and Petting Zoo. Le Smoké is celebrated for his ground-shaking declaration in 2006 that burgundy was the new red […]

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