Venezuelans are still mourning Commandante El Presidente Hugo Chavez, who the CIA poisoned with cancer, but that doesn’t mean they can’t sing, according to Justin Timberlake.
- RELATED: ‘Jugo Chavez Energy Drink’ cancelled
Venezuelans are still mourning Commandante El Presidente Hugo Chavez, who the CIA poisoned with cancer, but that doesn’t mean they can’t sing, according to Justin Timberlake.
The Cardinals of the Roman Catholic Church locked themselves inside the Vatican’s historic Sistine Chapel Tuesday to choose the next Pope. In accordance with tradition, they will communicate the results of their deliberations to the outside world via smoke signals.
Black smoke means no one got enough votes (two-thirds of those voting must agree) to become Pope, and white smoke means Habemus Papam — Latino for “We have a Pope.”
But that’s not all! Here are the pocho ocho other smoke signals the Cardinals will send to let you know what’s going on inside the Sistine Chapel:
8. Green smoke: Habemus frogam
7. Rainbow smoke: We have a new Pope and he is fabulous
6. Red smoke: OK, which one of you Cardinals put Flamin’ Hot Cheetos in the ballot box?
Mas…Pocho Ocho other Papal smoke signals beside black and white
Chingo Bling and his posse show Drake how it’s really done in Started from the Border. (NSFW language.)
Mexican mom says enough already with the Harlem Shake!
THIS JUST IN: (PNS reporting from REDMOND, WA) Former Microsoft Office Assistant Clippy, fired after a controversial career just trying to help some people out for crissake, will come out as gay in a forthcoming tell-all autobiography, PNS has learned.
The book, tentatively titled ☑ Don’t Ask Me Again, details Clippy’s crush on icon rival Happy Mac (photo), tempestuous meetings with erstwhile colleague Microsoft Bob, and all-night drug-fueled parties with the Tux, the Linux Penguin.
Mas…Breaking Ñews: Former Microsoft employee Clippy comes out
YouTuber Oh Em Gee It’s Eddie G has some good advice for all you Facebook people. Liking is one thing, sharing is something else entirely. (NSFW language.)
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal goes to Washington, D.C. to meet with demonstrators who want Puerto Rico to become America’s 51st state. [Disclaimer: Al is POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]
Women’s History Month is a good time to spotlight sexual harassment at work.
Congress has reauthorized the Violence Against Women Act, sure, but legal action isn’t always an option, like when you’re on a business trip with the boss, or in his office for a late-night meeting.
Here are the pocho ocho ways to fend off a boss who is all hands:
8. In your best Latina voice, scream “¡No, patron, por favor, no!”
7. He’s grabby? Grab back…and squeeeeeeeze!
6. Just go with it — you’re already asking for it with that blouse!
Buenos Aires band Poncho takes 80s-era synthpop in a new goth Futurama direction with the surrealistic video Take My Hand. [Zombies, gore, escary clowns!]
BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from CARACAS) The death of Commandante El Presidente Hugo Chavez means the Bolivarian Bottling Company has had to cancel plans to produce Jugo Chavez Energy Drink for export to the United Estates, PNS has learned.
The state-owned firm hoped to export the beverage to the U.S. where MEChA chapters, like cookie-selling Girl Scouts, would set up tables selling cans outside student union buildings.
Bro Angeles wants to know: Hey, do you know that good taco truck in Hollywood? The one near the Starbuck’s? Video by Jeremiah Murphy.
In the high desert of the Peruvian Andes, the descendants of the Inca form a human chain to perform the Chaccu, the ritual round-up and shearing of the wild vicuña.
President Obama’s “deferred action” program is working out really well for DREAMer Aury Martinez. (NSFW audio.)
If you need to get the webbed skin between your thumb and index finger nailed to a wood plank in the backyard, make sure you do it like YouTube user buffoon114; call a professional with the proper tools, safety gear and mad carpentry skillz. (NSFW audio.)
Amazing dancers, these two old gabachos. And who is that playing the music?
RELATED:
Pope Benedict XVI may have left the building, but investigators claim something is still rotten in Vatican City. They say the Roman Catholic Church is hiding evidence of extraterrestrial visitors — evidence that includes the remains of a dead ET buried beneath the Vatican.
Is this an original video from when King Africa‘s La Bomba was a big hit in 2000? We don’t know, but this video showed up on YouTube Thursday evening and we had to share. If this doesn’t make you at least chair dance, call a doctor!
And we’ve got lyrics!
Mas…King Africa is totally ‘La Bomba’ circa 2000 (video + lyrics)
Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it. HipHopAlkatraz and Midget Loco are proud to say Me Xicano. (NSFW language.)
The surviving guys (minus one) of the band formerly known as WAR (East Los favorites) are now the Lowrider Band. This just-released video is their OG salute to the ordinary man who works hard all day at a job he hates so he can take care of his family.
When you have to go, you have to go. Let’s dance!


(PNS reporting from VATICAN CITY) Retiring Pope Benedict XVI is ditching the traditional red slippers (he wears size VIII) when he leaves the papacy and is switching to pointy boots (botas picudas) he got in Mexico, according to news reports.
Chicago’s La Raza (via Google Translate) has the story:
Pope loves shoes that gave her artisans in Mexico in March 2012 during his apostolic visit to the State of Guanajuato and considers them so comfortable that continue to use even after his resignation.
During a press conference the spokesman of the headquarters of the Catholic Church, Federico Lombardi, confirmed that from next Thursday, February 28 at 20:00 local time (19:00 GMT), the pontiff will no longer use the traditional colored shoes Red.
Mas…Pope to ditch red slippers on retirement, switch to botas picudas
It’s a fine line between drawers and testicles, as POCHO Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón explains in this one-minute video. She’s @SaraChicaD on Twitter.
PREVIOUSLY…
Ward, something is bothering the Beave. Wait, that’s not right. What? Lassie? What’s wrong, girl?
Catnip is all the rage with today’s modern feline, but do we really understand it? This short video dares to expose the shocking facts about this controversial herb and shine a spotlight on what “nip” use is doing to America’s kittehs.
RELATED:
The Fight for the Real America is taking place every day in small Real American cities like Iowa City, Iowa. First the Obamanation wanted to give “sanctuary” to “illegal immigrants” and now these hippie lib-tards want to give a big thumbs up to people keeping chickens in their back yards.
Here’s the latest from Mexican alt.rockers Café Tacvba AKA Café Tacuba. It’s all about the waves, dude. ¡Mira the waves!
Re-imagining Jesus’ Last Supper may have started with Leonardo Da Vinci, but it didn’t stop there. Here’s JC and the Apostles, pictured in the Rebel Alliance cafeteria. And then there’s this painting of Galactica Commander Bill Adama…
Mas…Leonardo Da Vinci’s ‘Last Supper’ goes to space, and a club (toons)
There’s no Mardi Gras in New Orleans without Iko Iko. Do you know what the song is about? Here’s the story, from Wikipedia:
“Iko Iko” is a much-covered New Orleans song that tells of a parade collision between two “tribes” of Mardi Gras Indians and the traditional confrontation. The song, under the original title “Jock-A-Mo,” was written in 1953 by James “Sugar Boy” Crawford in New Orleans. The story tells of a “spy boy” (i.e. a lookout for one band of Indians) encountering the “flag boy” or guidon carrier for another “tribe.” He threatens to “set the flag on fire.”
Mas…Happy Mardi Gras! Chair dance to ‘Iko Iko’ by The Dixie Cups
Inocente got an Oscar for Best Documentary Short at the 2013 Academy Awards Sunday evening.
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Artist Chepo Peña was inspired by Mexican loteria cards and George Lucas’ Star Wars to create these graphics. George Lucas said thanks, Chepa, but don’t sell them. So he stopped selling them but still keeps them on the Internets. There’s more info over at the TextMex blog (by our amigo Memo Nericcio) and Chepo Peña’s site is here.
Mas…Star Wars loteria cards: Just the mashup you were looking for
Johnny Mp, who comes from Peru, made this documentary to show the hard life of an immigrant — living, working and loving. Can you relate? (NSFW language.)
Since we’ve established that Americans and Canuckians eat burritos in outer espace, we asked our French astronaut friends what was cooking. “It’s a small plate for a man,” they replied. “Blanquette de veau.” [Video by Corentin Charron.]