PNS*Hot*Flash: Chinese hackers infected laptop, local man says

(PNS reporting from TRENTON) “Chinese hackers infected my laptop and filled it with pornography,” an area beer sales executive told company help desk personnel yesterday. “I had no idea they could do that!”

Mark Mendoza, chief marketing officer for Buckman Brothers Beverages, said his company-issued Lenovo ThinkPad T530, a 15.6” powerhouse equipped with high productivity features and leading wireless options that keep him powered and unplugged around the clock, started acting strangely after a trip to CraftBrewCon2013 in Tallahassee last week.

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Chinese hackers infected laptop, local man says

Is that an ironic ‘hipster’ mustache or a real bigote? (video)


Mustaches are everywhere, and sometimes it’s hard to tell if that guy’s mustache over there at the bar or the bigotes on those women at the table in the back are for real or merely ironic affectations. This handy how-to guide will help you distinguish the posers from the sincerely hairy.

Free medical marijuana tamales? ‘Take A Hit’! (NSFW video)


In Garden Grove, a nice city in Orange County, qualified patients of the ABC Marijuana Cooperative can get free mota tamales on Fridays, according to Gustavo ¡Ask A Mexican! Arellano. The traditional delicacies come in chicken, cheese and pork varieties, and the pineapple tamales pack the extra miracle ingredient of cannabis.

North of Rancho Pocho, up in Oxnard, Ventura County, the Earthquake Institute shines the spotlight on the forces opposing pot legalization and suggests alternatives in Take A Hit. (NSFW.)

Mas…Free medical marijuana tamales? ‘Take A Hit’! (NSFW video)

PNS*Hot*Flash: Mexico fights bird flu outbreak with drones

(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MEXICO) Mexican corporate chicken farms are fighting the bird flu outbreak in the central state of Guanajuato with specially-equipped drones, PNS has learned.

Over 582,000 chickens infected with avian influenza will be killed robotically by Depredadors, a Mexico-only model of the well-known American Predator drone.

The Depredador (photo) runs on high octane aviation fuel made only from sugar cane; the domestic Predators rely on high-fructose corn syrup.

“We’re taking every precaution not to kill innocent civilian chickens,” a spokesman for Industrias Bachoco SAB, Mexico’s biggest chicken producer told PNS Monday, “but shit happens, no?”

Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Mexico fights bird flu outbreak with drones

Surveillance video: Havana car thieves jack sweet Italian ride


It’s hard to make a living as a Communist car thief in the Republic of Cuba; there aren’t many cars worth stealing. But every once in a while a hard-working Marxist-Leninist scores a sweet European import, like this stylin’ Fiat. And don’t worry about hot-wiring the ignition, either, Comrade. From each according to his ability; to each according to his need.

Mas…Surveillance video: Havana car thieves jack sweet Italian ride

With Ted Nugent in the House, Obama takes no chances (photo)

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON) With gun nut Ted Nugent (a tragic victim of Cat Scratch Fever) in the House, and rogue cop Christopher Dorner‘s fate still unclear, President Obama took no chances when he delivered the State of the Union Address here Tuesday night, replacing the customary American flag pin on his lapel with a custom button.

Click on the photo to enlarge

Mas…With Ted Nugent in the House, Obama takes no chances (photo)

@MexicanMitt Romney: The Estate of the Union esta chingada

Hola Gueyes! This is my Live Tweet/State of the Union response chingadera. Will someone please get me a water, that bottle I’m looking at is right out of reach. CHINGAO!

MEXIPHONE CHECK, JUAN TU, JUAN TU

HIJOLE EL TWITTER IS ESLOW, IT’S MORE CLOGGED THAN THE TOILET AT EL TORITO

HEY OBAMA, STOP TOUCHING THE CROWD, YOU ARE NOT LL COOL J

THE ESTATE OF THE UNION ESTA CHINGADA

IT IS OUR YENERATION’S TASK TO IGNITE DORNER’S CABIN

FREE ENTERPRISE ISN’T FOR FREELOADERS

Mas…@MexicanMitt Romney: The Estate of the Union esta chingada

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.

Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weenie ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Delicious aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa

‘Illegal Immigrant Hunting Permits’ were a mistake, so sorry (video)


Hey, all you Hispanics! We’re sorry — it was a big mistake. Ha ha ha, a joke gone bad. No, a mistake. You know those Illegal Immigrant Hunting Permit stickers we were selling in our Colorado gas stations with convenience stores managed by that national convenience store conglomerate that ordered the shiny multi-colored bumper stickers from a Kansas “novelty” manufacturer?

Mas…‘Illegal Immigrant Hunting Permits’ were a mistake, so sorry (video)

eBay ‘sniper’ outbids local man for ‘Chola Low Riders’ pulp magazine

(PNS reporting from PDX) Area collector Reynaldo “Ronnie” Morales’ heart was broken Sunday night when a last-minute auction bid from an eBay “sniper” pushed the coveted September 1953 issue of Amazing Future Tales out of his grasp and into the arms of another.

The sniper killed Morale’s chances with a $37.83 winning bid.

Mas…eBay ‘sniper’ outbids local man for ‘Chola Low Riders’ pulp magazine