Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

Letter from the Editor: Respect the pinche artist (*updated)

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Yesterday I drew and subsequently shared on Facebook my syndicated editorial cartoon on Dolores Huerta receiving her Presidential Medal of Freedom (above.)

Many of you shared it, as was my request. Thank you! We are all proud of the living legend Dolores Huerta, and the respect she has garnered, especially this week.

However one person, an FB user named Steven downloaded my heartfelt artwork, defaced it and even removed my name and made his own anti-Obama and Dolores Huerta statement. His political opinion is not the issue here. I have held much the same anti-political parties opinion in the past. What has angered me is the disrespect to my work as an artist. Let me explain why, just to be completely clear.

Mas…Letter from the Editor: Respect the pinche artist (*updated)

Smithsonian adds iconic Nike Cortez to permanent shoe exhibition

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(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) In what is being heralded as a major step towards recognition of the role of Latinos in our Nation’s history, the Smithsonian this week premiered its latest exhibit: the iconic Nike Cortez athletic shoe.

The shoe, a fixture of Latino culture since the 1980s, becomes a permanent part of the Smithsonian’s collection and may pave the way for inclusion of other Latino footwear in the future, such as exemplars from Stacy Adams, chanclas y pantuflas.

The Cortez will go on display near other American footwear, including Dorothy’s ruby red slippers from The Wizard of Oz, the first pair of Chuck Taylors, the shoe that almost hit George W. Bush in the face in Iraq and others.

Mas…Smithsonian adds iconic Nike Cortez to permanent shoe exhibition

Pocho Ocho Top Old-School Abuelita-Style Remedios (cures)

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Abuela knows best, amirite?

She recommends these old-fashioned remedios for whatever ails you:

8. Chile

Does it matter that you don’t eat chile? Or that this special hot sauce will burn a hole in your ulcer? No, eat it, you’ll see how much better you feel.

7. Nopal or linaza (cactus or flax seed)

If there’s something wrong with you, let’s flush it out. Sure, you will be spending the next week in the bathroom, but by the time you come out, whatever was ailing you will be long gone.

6. Rubbing an egg all over you while saying a prayer. (Una limpia con huevo)

Did your abuelita learn this ritual in church? Hell no, but for whatever reason, when she’s rubbing a cold egg all over you saying a Catholic prayer, it somehow makes you feel better. By the time that egg sucks up whatever evil eye someone gave you, the idea that this ritual is strange and old world will have slipped your mind.

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Old-School Abuelita-Style Remedios (cures)

Carmen’s Mexican Wake Up Call Service is guaranteed (NSFW video)

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Even though it’s Tuesday, it feels like Monday, right? And it was hard to get up when the alarm rang this morning, right? When you absolutely, positively can’t oversleep, try Carmen’s Mexican Wake Up Call Service. You’ll be wide awake in no #$@%#%%^ time! (NSFW language.)

Navajo Rangers keep ‘open mind’ on Bigfoot, UFO reports (videos)

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OpenMinds.TV reports: “The Navajo Rangers have been modestly performing their duties on the reservation for more than 50 years…[and]…their investigations have included UFO sightings, paranormal cases and Bigfoot.”

In March, the Rangers’ work attracted the attention of the news team at the local CBS TV station. Here’s their exclusive news video:

Mas…Navajo Rangers keep ‘open mind’ on Bigfoot, UFO reports (videos)

Speaking Spanish gets you a free pizza – and Pocho Ocho other things

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The Pizza Patron chain has ignited a nationwide controversy with its offer of free pepperoni pies on June 5 if you order en Español.

What else you can get for speaking Spanish?

8. In Arizona, you get pulled over, disrespected and hassled.

7. In Miami, you get nothing, stupid. That’s how you’re supposed to talk.

6. In New York, you get to speak a secret language that everyone else understands.

Mas…Speaking Spanish gets you a free pizza – and Pocho Ocho other things

When you can’t bear life without nachos, you need nachos tattoos

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Some people can’t get through the morning with a cup of coffee, and others, apparently, can’t get through the day without delicious crunchy oozing-with-queso nachos:

We love nachos. Duh. We want to show it on our arms, legs, and face. Stains are not permanent enough, while permanent tattoos are against our religions.

So they made temporary nachos “tattoo” decals.

Would you get them? Wear them?

Thanks to BoingBoing for the link!

Grad flash mob perfect setting for surprise marriage proposal (video)

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Rocio Almaraz was graduating with honors and organized a flash mob to dance after the ceremonies. Her long-time boyfriend Alex Carrillo thought the flash mob was the perfect setting to surprise Almaraz with a proposal of marriage.

California State University at Fullerton tells the story:

Rocio Almaraz, who is graduating magna cum laude from Cal State Fullerton with a bachelor of science degree in human services, organized a flash mob dance as a surprise for attendees at her CSUF commencement exercise Sunday in Titan Stadium.

For those in the stands, they held up a sign, reading: “Thank you Parents and Friends.”

While dancing alongside her classmates, Almaraz got an even bigger surprise — from her boyfriend, Alex Carrillo of South Gate, who had arranged for the flash mob members to keep on dancing when the song playing over the loudspeaker switched to Bruno Mars’ “Marry Me.”

Mas…Grad flash mob perfect setting for surprise marriage proposal (video)

Pocho Ocho tips for grads: How to make it in the ‘real world’

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Are you a newly-graduated pocho preparing to take your first baby steps out into the so-called “real world?” We’ve got tips for you!

8. Unsure about your next move? Do you need a movement or idea to get behind? Start an Occupy College movement on your campus! You may have graduated, but this will ensure you never have to leave (or shower.)

7. Remember how much you drank your first week of school? Drink twice that amount! As silly as sobriety may seem at the moment, it has absolutely no purpose in the real world, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Note that outside of college this is generally referred to as “alcoholism.”

6. To save money, move in with some people who actually had a chance at the American Dream — your parents. You’ll be so busy driving your abuelita around town, you won’t notice the economy sucks.

Mas…Pocho Ocho tips for grads: How to make it in the ‘real world’

Gustavo Arellano: This one goes out to all the community college grads

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Author, editor and POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano delivered this commencement speech yesterday to the graduates of Long Beach Community College:

Gustavo Arellano

Gracias for having me here, Vikings. I come from that evil land over yonder on the other side of the 405 — Orange County. Por favor don’t hold it against me, as I come to ustedes in peace and with a message about our shared background as products of California’s magnificent community college system.

I graduated in 1999 from Orange Coast College in Costa Mesa, just down the 405. My experience there was similar in many respects to yours. I had a full course load, took intersession, took as many summer school courses as possible, and did all of this while working full time, no financial aid, and helping to support my family. The classes were crowded, the parking horrific, the professors ranging from Einsteins to idiots.

Mas…Gustavo Arellano: This one goes out to all the community college grads

Happy birthday to Morrissey, the moody Brit who stole Latino hearts

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Happy fifty-third birthday, Steven Patrick Morrissey!

You would might think he was dead, with all the tribute bands and karaoke nights and even a whole convention in his honor. The real fans, of course, will be at an actual concert, like tonight’s show in San Diego, where the venue will be filled with lonely misfits who spend a lot of time in their bedrooms. I have been a fan since 1993.

Yes, I was an odd third grader, but we can blame my older sister for that.

In 2009, while my pal uber-fan Dagenham Dave was looking for a friend in Seattle he spotted the Mozza and did what each Morrissey fan does when they meet him. He asked Morrissey to sign a part of his body so he could later get it tattooed. I haven’t gotten there yet; I’m a little rusty on my stalking tactics since gas prices went up. I should start contacting the Arab side of the family.

Mas…Happy birthday to Morrissey, the moody Brit who stole Latino hearts

Black & white history: Juvenile delinquents ‘Ask Me, Don’t Tell Me’

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Ask Me, Don’t Tell Me (1961, 22 mins.) Adult suspicion, pompadours, cigarettes, chromed cars, pool halls, the jitterbug and pinball machines conspire to turn kids into juvenile delinquents, but earnest do-gooders can save the day! Great rock ‘n’ roll soundtrack and candid footage make late 1950s early 1960s gang life look sweet — in the days before guns and drive-bys.

The camera follows the day-to-day lives of San Francisco teenage gang members (AKA “jacket clubs”) — white, Asian, Mexican, black — and the unfriendly world they inhabit. The documentary was produced by the American Friends Service Committee, which wanted to set the kids on the right path with community service projects.

Mujeres: Wearing Victoria’s Secret doesn’t make you a model

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Supposebly, I was supposed to sex it up for my boyfriend Manuelito. He said the romance was gone and we needed to spice it up. So I did what any girl would do — I went to Victoria’s Secret.

I spent a long time in that store, too. I looked at everything they had — from those bras with the gel to make you look like you have more cleavage to the ones that scrunch your chi-chis together to make you look muy sexy and even considered those itty bitty tangas that would inevitably get lost somewhere in your pompis.

After all that looking around, I wondered: how do these tiny women manage to be so chichonas anyway?

I finally settled on something and went home to make it a special night. I lit sexy cinnamon candles, the kind that smell like churros, put on my new brassiere and waited for Manuelito to come over. Once he got there I was so excited! But, as it turn out, we were both in for a shock.

Mas…Mujeres: Wearing Victoria’s Secret doesn’t make you a model

Amazon dinosaur hunt? What else could these pictographs be? (video)

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ZOMG! Do these 5000-year-old pictographs show men chasing and spearing a sauropod dinosaur, ages after the giant reptiles’ alleged extinction? Does this mean the Biblical creation story is right and science is wrong? In this new Amazon rainforest video, Canadian “creationist” Vance Nelson is very impressed by a “secular” expert’s testimony, but he can’t get the expert to testify on camera.

Are the South American tribesmen chasing a huge alligator or is it something else? Is this “creationist” piling inference upon speculation to reach unwarranted conclusions to support his religious agenda? Our ancestors painted pictures of dragons and unicorns, too. Does that mean they existed as well?

Silver UFO crashes on hillside, retrieved by Chilean military (videos)

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It was a silvery object 15 meters (50 feet) across, the witnesses said.

The excellent “Hispanic Ufology” blog Inexplicata reports:

[At]… 15:45 hours, residents of Paihuano, a small village in Valle de Elquí (Chile) underwent an extraordinary experience which keep its 2,500 residents on the edge of their seats. A flying object described as having a metallic color and measuring some 15 meters across remained motionless over the Las Mollacas hill, from which the entire town could be seen.

Mas…Silver UFO crashes on hillside, retrieved by Chilean military (videos)

Hey Vato! Tattoo or not tattoo, that is the question (NSFW video)

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Chuy wants a new tattoo for his new lady love — in a special spot right over his heart. But, he wonders, is a new tat a symbol of undying devotion or merely another way to get the chicas to give it up? When Smiley pointedly asks about Chuy’s old girlfriend, an intense discussion ensues. (NSFW language.)

Letter to the Editor: How Cooter and son welcomed me to Alabama

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I knew that I was in a heap of trouble when the mechanics showed up in a big old beat-up four-wheel-drive mud-covered truck with a hand-painted sign on the doors that read Cooter’s Roadside Auto Repair.

These fellas sat in their truck a little too long — staring at me — before they got out to reveal they were dressed in camouflage hunting outfits from head to toe. Their caps were camo as well, except for the Confederate flag emblem on the front. Their clothes were covered in dirt, grease, and what looked like blood stains, the same stains they had on their faces.

I was on my way back to Austin, TX from the East Coast. I had gone to do some remodeling work on my rich sister’s vacation home on Chesapeake Bay and was happy to be coming home with a little extra cash, around three grand, in my pocket.

Then, as luck would have it, or as my dad would say, all the good shit just turned to crap.

Mas…Letter to the Editor: How Cooter and son welcomed me to Alabama

Hollywood Spaniards, Puerto Ricans plan ‘ultimate’ Chicano film

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(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Following the warm reception to the upcoming César Chávez biopic, producers in Hollywood have mounted an international effort to produce the “most extensive Chicano film in history.”

The production not only features an all-star cast from the United States and Latin America but also includes both factual and fictitious events in Chicano history.

“The idea is to jam pack as much history, culture and entertainment into two hours of film so that young Chicanos don’t have to read any books to learn about who they are,” said  the project’s director, Pedro Almodóvar.

“In fact, if possible we are going to try to make the two hours into an hour-and-a-half, because our target audience has no attention span.”

Mas…Hollywood Spaniards, Puerto Ricans plan ‘ultimate’ Chicano film

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