El Now

It’s News to Us!

Area man happy to share new Spanish tips with co-workers

by

(PNS reporting from HUNTINGTON BEACH) Area sales manager Rick Miller is happy to share his new-found Spanish vocabulary with co-workers, buds from the office disclosed Tuesday.

Miller (photo), who explained that he went to a barbecue Sunday over at his new Mexican-American neighbors’ house, informed early arrivals at yesterday’s quarterly sales meeting that a limon is actually what we call a lime in English, and lemons are limas in Spanish.

Mas…Area man happy to share new Spanish tips with co-workers

OMG! Obama birth certificate was copy/pasted from woman’s ID (video)

by


Did you like President Barack Obama’s speech yesterday? Did his thoughtful and inspiring words make you long for a wonderful, golden past when you didn’t wake up afraid of what the Cult45 regime and its collaborators did overnight?

WAKE UP, SHEEPLE! Obama’s birth certificate is a copy and paste forgery, according to this dispatch from the racist pendejo who was part of defeated and disgraced Sheriff Joe Arpaio’s Obama white wing “birther” hit squad. In this alternative facts universe, where the Sandy Hook school shooting massacre was faked, gun control is TREASON! and more:

Mas…OMG! Obama birth certificate was copy/pasted from woman’s ID (video)

Latinos take week off to celebrate Catholicism’s cultural rape

by

(PNS reporting from LATIN AMERICA) Millions of Latin Americans are on vacation this week to celebrate Semana Santa, a festival to commemorate the desecration of the region’s native cultures and the Spaniards’ forceful imposition of Catholicism through celestial acts such as rape, pillage and genocide.

Holy Week, where children are off school and adults binge drink, gives Latin Americans time to reflect upon Jesus Christ’s selfless sacrifice for humanity, despite the fact that 500 years earlier no one on this side of the world had heard of him and worshiped far cooler Gods of the sun, rain and maize. Catholic cathedrals across the region are certain to be packed with Aztec, Mayan and Inca descendants, all to give thanks and praise to a merciful God coerced into their societies by armed, greed-fueled colonialists spreading the heavenly message of El Espíritu Santo.

Mas…Latinos take week off to celebrate Catholicism’s cultural rape

+ Load More Posts