Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot and Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

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salsainabowlI’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha.

Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.

M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.

M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Hot and Sexy Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day Salsa

Hollywood producer’s Twitter feed highlights sexism in scripts

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janeinthemoviesrossputmanFilm producer Ross Putman’s new Twitter feed @FemScriptIntros shares the lines from film scripts where female characters are introduced. To protect the innocent(?), Putman has changed all their names to JANE. The excerpts speak volumes about how “The Industry” thinks about women. Unlike all the women, it’s not a pretty picture.

Here is his Twitter feed in real time:

Mas…Hollywood producer’s Twitter feed highlights sexism in scripts

Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire

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newhampshiredonkeyhoteyDonald Trump’s and Bernie Sanders’ stunning victories Tuesday don’t make sense unless you know the hidden history of the state of New Hampshire.

That’s the reason we researched and compiled the Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire:

8. New HAMpshire is known for its “HAM aroma” which inspired the hit song My Sharona

7. Coincidence or conspiracy? The ham-smelling state’s namesake [old] Hampshire, on England’s southern coast across the channel from France, smells like CHEESE

6. New Hampshire is very white. How white is it? New Hampshire is so white it makes the OSCARS look like a #BlackLivesMatter rally

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Facts You Need to Know About New Hampshire

Enjoy ‘Mexican Crazy Bread’ at the Doha, Qatar Marriott (video)

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You can make Mexican Crazy Bread yourself, whatever it is, just like in this “street food” recipe video, or stop by the Doha Marriott Hotel any Thursday for #DIYStreetFoodDoha. The hotel is located on Ras Abu Aboud Street, Building 2, Street 920, Zone 28, Doha. It’s unclear if the Marriott makes their Mexican bread with any leftover chicken, really. Crazy not included.

Coloring book from El Rey Del Art: Frida bot, taco dreams, luchador

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elreycoverThe Big Fancy Coloring Book offers something special for odd grownups, peculiar kids, and lovers of absurd drawings of tacos, Frida Kahlo and/or Chiquita Banana and/or Carmen Miranda, luchadores and armadillos. It’s the latest creative product from our mysterious amigo, The Painter of Arizona Light, whose Internet spokespern is known as El Rey Del Art (so-called self portrait, above).

We’ve secured especial permission to share four of El Rey’s droppings here:

Mas…Coloring book from El Rey Del Art: Frida bot, taco dreams, luchador

Valentine’s Day love song to a ‘Queen’ – with sousaphone (music video)

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Chilean-American rapper Dazer teams up with Erin Kim — a contestant on NBC’s The Voice — for a multicultural love song to a Queen. We especially dig Grindz on sousaphone, a marching band tuba that wraps around the body. And check out MacArthur Park in the background where they left that cake out in the rain.

Mira los lyrics (en Español y Ingles):

Mas…Valentine’s Day love song to a ‘Queen’ – with sousaphone (music video)

Ted Cruz campaign tracts warn of ‘Satan’s Spiritual Structure’

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tedcruzcheatsheetWhile Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) was telling the crowd “To God be the Glory” [In Arabic, this is “Allahu Akbar”] in his Des Moines, Iowa victory speech Monday night, PNS snagged an example of the tracts campaign aides were passing out to the crowd — tracts detailing the Christian Sharia Law we can expect under President Cruz.

The rest of the tract is here….

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

Pocho Ocho top ways to tell it’s all over for JEB! (sad videos)

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It’s not a good sign when you have to ask the crowd to “Please clap,” like former Governor Jeb Bush (R-Florida) at a New Hampshire campaign rally Tuesday.

JEB! may not yet be prepared to admit he’s already lost, but we are, Fat Lady or not. Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways to Tell It’s All Over for Jeb Bush:

8. Briefly lost consciousness after choking on a pretzel

7. Hired New Orleans/Katrina FEMA guy “Brownie” as replacement campaign manager

6. Spotted holding hands with Saudi royalty

Mas…Pocho Ocho top ways to tell it’s all over for JEB! (sad videos)

Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)

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What can we learn from the Senator Ted Cruz (R-Canadia) victory Monday in the Iowa GOP caucuses? It’s time to support CANADIANS FOR PRESIDENT! [NSFW video, one F-bomb.]

And what else? How about the Pocho Ocho Top Lessons We Learned from the Iowa GOP Caucuses:

8. He who smelt it, dealt it.

7. If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we’d all have a merry caucus.

6. I know you are, but what am I?

Mas…Pocho Ocho top lessons of the Iowa GOP caucuses (NSFW video)

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