Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

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firstturkey900See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago?

We’ve got eight things right here:

8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date

7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly

6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Naco Bell

Mas…Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast

¡Japi Januka! A kosher carnitas y nopales burrito inside a donut (video)

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The signature foods of Chanukah, which begins tonight, are potato latkes — as prepared by Hebrew homeboys Jaquann and Luis — and sufganiyot, Israeli-style donuts. Both foods, tu sabes, are fried in oil, commemorating the milagro at the heart of the Chanukah story.

Which is why, two years ago, before we thought of Mexican Turducken-style gag dishes we could attribute to Rick Bayless, Mexikosher chef (and Chopped winner) Katsuji Tanabe created a nopales and kosher carnitas burrito stuffed inside a donut/sufganiyot. Really.

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

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turkeymole640Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad.

Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo had more dinero and drive a troka (thas truck for ju pochos) with plastic bolitas hanging from the bumper. Oh gwell.

In Mexico we say mijo’s daddy got put horns. Mijo’s daddy cry and cry but he no give me my mijo support cheque. I tell him my house is no LenchaCare. He need to pay. He say need money for divorce the eskank. I have to go to the offices to get him to pay.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

Moms Mabley: ‘Abraham, Martin and John’ (video)

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Fifty years ago today, Pres. John F. Kennedy was assassinated in Dallas, TX. JFK’s killing, and then MLK’s, inspired Dion DiMucci, mostly known for his doo-wop work with Dion and the Belmonts, to record a ballad about the lost heroes of a generation, and the song became an unlikely hit for Dion and others (including Marvin Gaye.)

In this clip from the old Merv Griffin show, comic Moms Mabley, known mostly for her “blue” stage act, sings an emotional version of Dion’s classic, Abraham, Martin and John. Moms had a Top 40 hit with the song in 1969. Her version includes Bobby Kennedy.

Area couple survives loud radio station promo van at grocery store

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ranchosinaloa(PNS reporting from EDINBURG, TX)  They just about went deaf, but Alcario and Isela Garza braved a radio station’s sonic assault and managed to safely enter the Rancho Sinaloa grocery store here yesterday.

The Garzas — who had just left their yoga class — entered the relatively-quiet food market after surviving 150 decibels of banda coming from a radio station’s “Chingona Van.” The painted-like-a-billboard electric blue truck was parked next to the front entrance, blasting Banda Machos’s La Culebra at top volume.

Radio La Chingona, the Rio Grande Valley’s number one station, was giving out free bumper stickers and hotdogs, and Las Chingonas — two women in radio station cheerleader outfits — were spinning a roulette wheel that awarded two tickets to the station’s upcoming Noches Ranchera festival featuring Paquita del Barrio. The FM station proudly advertises “you’ll never know what we’ll play next.”

Mas…Area couple survives loud radio station promo van at grocery store

The Latin Grammys: America’s biggest anti-Mexican sham

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latingrammys

latingrammys150Over a decade ago, I wrote an op-ed piece for what was called Pacific News Service but is now New American Media bemoaning how pathetic the Latin Grammys were due to their lack of Mexican music. “The definers of Latin culture,” I wrote then, “have decided that the most popular Latin music genre in the United States isn’t worthy of promotion because it might lead people to believe that Latinos are poor and culturally backward, not slick and ‘with it.'”

Mas…The Latin Grammys: America’s biggest anti-Mexican sham

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McDonald’s to broke workers: Sell Xmas presents on Craigslist (video)

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McDonald’s employees-only website — McResources — has great tips for broke-ass employees trying to make it through the holidays with only their income from shitty minimum-wage jobs:

  • You’ll eat less if your break your food into little pieces
  • Holiday bills got you down? Sell the Christmas gifts you received on Craigslist!
  • You’ll feel less stressed if you sing!

Altnernet reports:

Mas…McDonald’s to broke workers: Sell Xmas presents on Craigslist (video)

Niños Incómodos/Uncomfortable Kids: ‘Mexico must change’ (videos)

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“If this is the future that awaits me, I don’t want it,” said the girl in this commercial that ran before last year’s Mexican presidential elections. “Enough of working for your political parties instead of working for us. Enough of cosmetic changes.” Almost everyone said they agreed.

How’s that working out for you, Mexico?

Mas…Niños Incómodos/Uncomfortable Kids: ‘Mexico must change’ (videos)

The Gettysburg Address by the Presidents of the United States (videos)

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Director Ken Burns got all the living Presidents — and some celebrity friends — to recite Abraham Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address, the speech first delivered at a Civil War battlefield in Pennsylvania 150 years ago today.

But when Civil War-reinacting Confederate soldier wannabes run into reality, rebellion doesn’t seem like so much fun any more:

Mas…The Gettysburg Address by the Presidents of the United States (videos)

Frida Kahlo finally comes to senses, sees cosmetologist (photos)

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO, DF) Dead Mexican feminist artist and icon Frida Kahlo has finally come to her senses and visited a cosmetologist here to clean up her act.

Check out the old Frida and compare with the new shiny, happy Frida:

fridabefore

after

PREVIOUSLY ON FRIDA KAHLO:

Illustrations via ColorLines.com

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO, INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

WTF Whopper: Mexicans have it your guey – at Burger King (photo,video)

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burgerkingmexicanNeed a job? Live near Ephrata, Washington? Burger King has openings for people like you!

Huh? Whopper the fries is going on here? MSN Money reports:

Burger King has apologized after a photo of a billboard at one of its locations went viral.

The photo shows a Burger King billboard in Ephrata, Wash., that reads: “Now hiring. Must be Mexican.” Burger King said the billboard was edited by an angry employee who worked at the location last summer, The Atlanta Journal-Constitution​ reports.

Mas…WTF Whopper: Mexicans have it your guey – at Burger King (photo,video)

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