Our first TGIF music video proudly features “just another band from East LA.” Sometimes homies Los Lobos sound like they are John Cougar Mellencamp’s or Tom Petty’s brothers from another mother. This is one of those times. These all-American stars sing all-American stories. Respect.
CA Dream Act repeal fails to gather enough hateful signatures
(SACRAMENTO) Republican Assemblyman Tim Donnelly announced today that his effort to repeal the California Dream Act, which allows undocumented students to apply for in-state tuition and scholarships in the state’s universities, has failed to collect enough signatures from racist assholes to get on the ballot.
Mas…CA Dream Act repeal fails to gather enough hateful signatures
‘Mom, Dad – I was born this guey’
It took Mark a long time to screw up the courage to talk about it with his parents, but finally, thank God, finally, he was ready.
He sat them down on the couch and pulled up a chair. “Mom, Dad,” he said, “I have something to tell you.”
Pocho Ocho cosas I found in my Rosca de Reyes
Happy Three Kings Day, Dia de Los Reyes Magos, AKA Epiphany, the day when Los Tres Reyes dropped by the manger to gift up the original Anchor Baby, El Baby Jesus.
In Mexico and now all across Pocholandia, some celebrate with the Rosca de Reyes, a tasty and yeasty treat topped with butter and sugar.
Sometimes it is soaked in rum, like Tio Frankie. Baked inside is a plastic Baby Jesus figurine, which, if you get it in your slice of pan, symbolizes great fortune. And it also means you are stuck with the bill for yet another Catholic drinkfest one month later.
Below are the top eight things we have found in the Rosca de Reyes here at the POCHO world headquarters! Enjoy!
8. Plastic Baby Jesus
7. One long black hair
6. Homies Doll, “Cholo Priest”
Obama immigration officials run out of immigrants to deport, switch to deporting American citizens
In a curious move, the Barack Obama White House is campaigning tirelessly for the Latino re-election vote while also deporting a record number of undocumented immigrants.
In a mad dash to burnish their law-and-order credentials, Obama officials have deported over a million undocumented immigrants during the past 2 1/2 years and are on track to out-deport the two-term Bush administration’s 1.57 million. In fact, they have deported so many undocumented immigrants they may have depleted the supply.
They have turned to an American resource to fill the void: deporting U.S. citizens. The instances are numerous, and growing:
Daily Show Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal tells all
Comic, actor and soon-to-get-a-fulltime gig Al Madrigal dropped by POCHO world headquarters and Pocho-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz got him to sit down for an impromptu and poorly-lit chat.
Al talks about his move from LA to NYC for his new Daily Show news team gig and reveals a joint project with POCHO.
Who, exactly, IS a pocho?
Pocho used to be defined by what it wasn’t. But that was a long time ago.
Pocho, by my reckoning, used to be one thing but now it’s another. To be a pocho used to mean that you weren’t a legitimate Latino – and I use the word Latino in a very broad sense (I understand the whole Latinos-don’t-speak-Latin thing, but I use the term for a more utilitarian reason: it suits my purpose).
Al Madrigal: ‘The day I hired a day laborer’ (NSFW)
Al Madrigal live at the Laugh Factory: When at Home Depot (note to self – go early in the morning) it’s important to choose wisely when picking your day laborer. Not Safe For Work. Tomorrow’s video: Pocho-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz interviews Al at POCHO headquarters about Al’s new full-time gig as the Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent.
Iowa analysis: Hatred for poor edges out homophobia, racism
(PNS reporting from IOWA) Hatred for the poor won in Iowa yesterday, squeaking by second-place entry homophobia and runners-up racism and tax evasion in the hotly-contested GOP caucuses.
In a stunning, almost come-from-behind finish, current homophobe and former Pennsylvania Sen. Rick Santorum ended the caucus vote in a number two position, rubbing up right behind human simulation Mitt Romney.
Mas…Iowa analysis: Hatred for poor edges out homophobia, racism
The Math4Men™ formula: BOOBS+BUTT–WAIST=♥ (I think)
A girl can never win.
When I was in seventh grade, I was derided for being flat-chested. When I was in college I was derided for having ample junk in the trunk. As a 20-something I was felt self-conscious because I didn’t have thin legs.
It turns out, depending on who you ask, this is all good — or all lacking. It’s confusing: do Latino men want voluptuous or not? Or do they only want voluptuous in certain places? Do they just like to drool over skinny women on TV, but when they get home prefer something more ample? What are the mathematics on being an “adequately-attractive” Latina?
Bolivia puts Mother Earth over God, dooms country to Hell
(PNS reporting from BOLIVIA) Undoubtedly weakened by defending herself from deranged Islamo-fascists seeking to nestle in her naïve, hot-blooded bosom, Latin America has fallen victim to an even more dangerous attacker: The Green Dragon of Environmentalism.
Bolivia is slated pass unprecedented legislation that would grant the planet the same rights as human beings. The environment will be given special protections from industry and related development under the recently-proposed Law of Mother Earth. Socialist cocaine-growing President Evo Morales, the first openly-heathen president in Latin America, believes this legislation will help protect unwed whore Mother Earth from the fairy tale of climate change.
Mas…Bolivia puts Mother Earth over God, dooms country to Hell
Lalo Alcaraz and Al Madrigal? Pinche funny!
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal stopped by POCHO world headquarters last week for a chat with Jefe Lalo Alcaraz. Mark your calendars for Thursday when we share the the entire chingadera and some exciting news! Can’t wait? We have 20 minutes of audio of Al’s NSFW club act here.
Pochophotographic Exclusive: Occupy Rose Parade 2012
After the regular Pasadena Rose Parade, the Occupy Rose Parade people were kind enough to march right in front of my phonecam, leaving me little choice but to take their pictures.
After all, we are the 99%!
Music by Alice Texas Marching Band.
Traditional GOP caucus ritual marks Iowanian New Year
(PNS reporting from THE HEARTLAND, USA) Thousands of Iowanians are fighting their way across the wind-blown plains today to perform the traditional Republican caucus ritual. Sioux City City College PoliSci Professor Rico Alvarado explains the Ceremony of the Caucus this way:
First, the gabachos make a 4WD posada to the high school gym for the ritual gathering. There, by standing and waving, they compete for a majority of the donuts and coffee. The Caucus Ceremony must end before the Big Tornado Siren heralds the start of the Iowanian New Year.
We photographed six citizens and asked them to evaluate the political process and the contenders. Here they are and here’s what they said:
Hoy in History 1/3: Drunk ‘how to cook a taco’ video? Must be Taco Tuesday!
It’s the year’s very first Taco Tuesday, which means you can laugh yourself back to work with this borracho taco recipe video.
Cooking while drunk is dangerous, especially if it involves charp knives. Don’t try this at home.
Cover girl: ‘I Exist’ magazine features undocumented protester
No papers — no voice? Not any more!
What is the proper adjective: undocumented or illegal?
Lalo Alcaraz: A cartoonista’s 2011 year in review
There are a million stories in the naked barrio. Here are some of mine from 2011.
Background music: ‘Viva Tirado’ by The Bullets. Used by permission. Thanks, pochos!
Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year
The Zapatista Rebellion was born this day in 1994 – Que Viva EZLN!
The Zapatistas… issued a declaration which amounted to a declaration of war on the Mexican government, which they considered so out of touch with the will of the people as to make it completely illegitimate.
Welcome to 2012, the last year, according to the Mayan Calendar, which predicts the end of the world on Dec. 21. No worries – we have what you need:
- A countdown clock on the right so you can sync your watch for the big day
- This New Age technomuzak didactic rap video by Gurudevi which links the Mayan wisdom to a properly calibrated understanding of the 13-month-cycles of noospheric spacetime (WARNING DON’T WATCH THIS VIDEO IF YOU ARE DRIVING):
Mas…Hoy in History 1/1 and welcome to 2012, the Mayan last year
‘Happy New Year Baby’ from The Sisters (East LA 1965)
It’s 1965 and big hair and girl groups are all the rage.
In East LA, sisters Rosella, Ersi and Mary Arvizu, who had been singing and playing music together all their lives, thought they had the right stuff to be the next Supremes — even before there were Supremes. They call themselves The Sisters.
My militant Pocho Ocho New Year’s resolutions
8. Remove Christmas lights from my Occupy L.A. tent a little earlier this year
7. Scare white folks with the 2012 Doomsday predictions
6. Get Cheech to collect one of my Chicano paintings
5. Train my revolutionary pets Karl Barx and Chairman Meow to attack all Republicanos in mi barrio
Year in Review: JLo needs to fix it again, Tony
You can’t go home again; ask la Señorita Lopez.
JLo’s waxing poetic about her roots and her neighborhood made for a very nice commercial but a not-so-nice commentary about her beloved Bronx.
Jenny-from-the-block’s part in her new commercial was not shot “round the way” but rather on the rough and tumble streets of West Los Angeles (yeah, I know they both look soooo much alike.)
Epic video announcement: Luchador ♥ POCHO
¡Hola! The POCHO management team is hustling for our January 2nd re-launch. As you will see from our launch promo video, we didn’t have a lot of time to audition many spokes-avatars. At least he gets the point across, sort of. POCHO is launching and we are looking forward to bringing you the freshest & sassiest News y Satire when it does. Meantime, check out our Facebook page and sign up for our mailing list so you can keep up with us.
Share this video freely con tus amigos. What’s that? You don’t even know what POCHO is yourself? Well, our Mission Statement oughta clear that right up for you.
Lalo’s Pocho Ocho New Year’s resolutions
8. Wear more slimming clothes
7. Get a new job to supplement income from five other jobs
6. Take a vacation at one of those nice FEMA camps
5. Quit drinking alcohol that doesn’t get me fucked up really fast
4. Reduce financial stress by picking up a hobby, like bank robbing, or writing a hit song
3. Start eating my 10-year supply of freeze-dried survival food
2. “Party Like It’s 2012”
And my top New Year’s Resolution for 2012:
72 dpi
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What are your New Year’s resolutions? Post them here!
Mayan Doomsday 2012? Instant karma gonna get you
We as a species deserve whatever Mayan Doom 2012™ brings our way.
Tweet-comic Jon Hendren proved it on Xmas and Boxing Day when he retweeted people’s bitching about not getting the gifts they wanted. Boohoo, they moaned – no one loves me enough to give me the muy caro gadget I need sooo sooo badly.
I, on the other hand, was sad because I had no iPad … until I met a man who had no nalgas. Lookit these screenshots of Tweets:
Funny, you don’t look Mexican!
“You don’t look Mexican” is something I hear a lot. I hear it from whites, African-Americans, Asians, Mexican nationals, Latinos from Latin America, just about everyone. Of course, in polite company, I usually respond, “Oh, yeah, I get that a lot.”
In my head, however, I usually think, “What, exactly does is a Mexican ‘supposed’ to look like?” This is, in turn, followed by some expletives.
I find it uncanny that, in 2011 with a country and a world that is increasingly multiracial, that educated people still assume that certain people are “supposed” to look one way or another. Boggles my mind.
Razaphobic AZ judge just says ‘nein’ to Mexican-American Studies
Arizona has made it illegal to be brown in their state, now that a judge has ruled that it is illegal to think brown.
Tucson Unified School District’s Mexican-American Studies Department has lost an appeal before a Razaphobic judge and faces the complete dismantling of their academic program. Mexican-American Studies educates brown and non-brown children, but the main problem to Superintendent John Huppenthal is that brown children come out smarter and empowered after taking MAS courses.
Arizona state school officials violate the educational rights of brown children while Sheriff Joe Arpaio allows the violation of brown children.
Cue the banjos!
Hip Hop Hoodíos light ‘Ocho Kandelikas’ for Hanukkah
Happy Hanukkah from NoHo’s Hip Hop Hoodíos
Hanukkah begins at sunset on Tuesday, Dec. 20 and ends at sunset on Wednesday, Dec. 28: ocho noches, ocho kandelikas.
Arpaio or Paterno: Which Juan is it?
Which one?
- Sex-crime cases prompt calls for Arizona Sheriff Joe Arpaio to quit
- Penn State trustees fire Joe Paterno
Is it time for Sheriff Joe to go? Is this the last straw? Tell us in the comments!
‘Juan of the Dead’ – best Cuban zombie movie evah?
We never were able to catch Juan of the Dead but we sure wish we had. The movie just played Havana and it was a big hit.