The Hey Vato! show’s Chuy and Smiley wonder if it’s possible to put away those childish things, and enjoy beisbol with Los Doyers.
Chapulines — grasshoppers, crunchy, and salty, and spicy — are a big hit at the Safeco Field home of the Seattle Mariners. Fans have eaten 1000 pounds of the exotic snacks so far.
Monday was the day for the long-awaited peace summit between the two opposing subjects of my eerily-accurate anti-mascot cartoon from 2002.
“But dude, I’m honoring you!” came to the Cleveland Indians stadium to apologize to the Native American anti-mascot protester.
Indian Country Today Media Network reports:
President Obama does 'the wave' alongside Raúl Castro in Cuba pic.twitter.com/bSLcVkOLxn
— Independent Journal (@INJO) March 22, 2016
Cuba’s President Raul Castro and President Barack Obama were the world’s most famous fans Tuesday as they wrapped up their historic fence-mending encounter by doing the wave at an exhibition baseball game in Havana.
In Chicago, baseball fans love their loser Cubs. Some say the Cubs’ bad luck is the result of the 1945 Curse of the Billy Goat that has thwarted the home team’s dreams. Now a local bar is urging patrons to fill up on goat tacos before going to Wrigley Field to defeat the evil curse. Is this witchcraft or wishful thinking?
In a universe far away, they call the sportsball spectator stand up/get down trick The Mexican Wave. Here in Pocholandia, it’s just The Wave. Maybe that was you doing The Wave on MLB opening day or on the final night of March Madness; maybe you Waved on the couch at home.
But do you know where The Wave originated, and why it’s now known internationally as The Mexican Wave? Watch y learn:
Yes, they actually went there. Look for a new dessert this season at Chase Field in Phoenix as the National League Arizona Diamondbacks present the “Churro Dog.” Thankfully, no dogs were harmed in the making of this gut-busting, grand-standing heart-stopping dessert.
WTF is a Churro Dog, exactly? ESPN has the story:
The Churro Dog is a warm cinnamon churro sitting inside a Long John chocolate-glazed donut, which is then topped with frozen yogurt, caramel and chocolate sauces. Its estimated calorie count is 1,117.
But the Churro Dog concept wasn’t a random bark in the dark of night, no sir. Many ideas were thrown around the marketing infield, barking up the wrong tree, before the Churro Dog got the front office excited enough to get to third base. And you know what? Here they are — the Diamondback’s Pocho Ocho Top Rejected Dessert Concepts before the Churro Dog:
8. Willie Relleno
7. Negrito Refrito
6. Pink Cotton Candy Taco
Dan Snyder, the owner of the hatefully-named Washington Redskins football team, is offended that South Park is using their (no-longer-trademarked) name, even though Cartman is only trying to honor the team’s awesome heritage.
PREVIOUSLY ON WASHINGTON REDSKINS:
One of my preferred topics for editorial cartoons has always been American mistreatment of indigenous people. Nothing makes me feel better than dreaming up a solid cartoon that reminds us all about the sordid history of our country’s crimes against Indians. The only thing more satisfying is seeing my ideas validated.
This week a dude sent me a “heads-up” about a Tweet featuring one of these editorial cartoons. I clicked the link and just about fell out of my chair.
The graphic in the Tweet was a side-by-side presentation of my cartoon showing a Native American confronting an Indian-mascot-garbed sports fan next to a photograph of a Native American confronting an Indian-mascot-garbed sports fan (image, above.)
Native Americans have many names, but they are not your mascots.
PREVIOUSLY ON MASCOTS AND INDIANS:
PREVIOUSLY ON TEAM MASCOTS:
POCHO amigo Chris Garcia, the man behind our wildly popular Mexican Mitt Romney for President music video, was a guest on radio’s This American Life, an episode on Things You’re Not Supposed to Talk About. One of them is the route you’re driving…
Garcia and his dad were driving home, listening to oldies, sharing a bag of chips. A totally familiar scene for them. They’d driven this route probably hundreds of time, but something odd was happening in the car, so Chris started recording their conversation on his phone. He tells producer Nancy Updike what happened.
Chris starts his story at 44:55 into the show.
Baseball season starts Monday. For me, it means six months of praying and hoping that the Dodgers can turn their billion-dollar payroll into championship glory.
Those Dodger games can be expensive and explosive. There is nothing better than sitting through the United States’ answer to the soccer (including riots if you show up wearing the wrong cap.) So here is a guide to surviving your outing with Los Doyers.
TIP #1: Be prompt: The reason you want to be there is merely for seating. With the right kind of heart, you can treat the experience like an event with general admission. Do not get greedy.
If you have nosebleed ZZZ tickets, don’t try to sneak in to the A+ section behind luminary celebrities like Fred Savage or one of the Real Housewives. Row G is good enough. Most Dodger fans do not show until the fourth inning anyway. Do not get disheartened if you get kicked out by the real owner. Just pretend to be confused and act like my Tia Chicha trying to set up a DVR. Then be brazen and try to slide into Row F.
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) Though the competition was stiffer than Ronald Reagan’s corpse, retired MLB douchebag and Twitter hack Jose Canseco has been declared the Worst Mexican of All Time by ex-professional wrestler The Iron Sheik.
Canseco has the “raisin balls” and is an embarrassment to all of Mexico, The Sheik told PNS.
The contest was too close to call by many Mexperts but after the votes were tallied, Canseco won the prestigious title hands down, beating out Geraldo Rivera, Tito Santana, Raffi Torres, Mel Gibson, O.J. Simpson and Mario Lopez.
When notified he did not win, Geraldo responded by weeping on Fox and Friends, remarking that he felt “manually raped” by the results.