chupacabra

Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)

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Johnny Depp couldn’t just cop to being a day late to the Japanese press conference. No, this wannabe Tonto had to blame his tardy-ass rudeness on an attack by a cruel and vicious Mexican — El Chupacabra (video, above). And the interpreter and the reporters are all like jajaja WTF but in Japanese. Johnny Depp ≠ Bill Murray in Japan, apparently.

But El Deppo wasn’t the first to blame his own bads on this famous Mexican monster. Here are the Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra:

8. The chupacabra ate my homework … AND MY DOG!

7. Sorry for the mess. A chupacabra went through my dirty clothes hamper and left all my chonies in piles on the floor.

6. But Your Honor! I was just estanding on the corner minding my own business when El Chupacabra ran by and handed me that iPhone 6!

Mas…Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra (videos)

Did movie monster-maker H.R. Giger make El Chupacabra?

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HRGigerThe death this week of artist H.R. Giger — best known for the fantastic creatures he created for films like Alien and Species — has unleashed some fascinating speculation about his role in shaping other people’s realities.

Did his creations inspire the descriptions of face-to-face enounters with El Chupacabra?

Prior to 1995, chupacbras were typically described as dog-like creatures, according to one expert.  The CryptoZoooNews reports:

Mas…Did movie monster-maker H.R. Giger make El Chupacabra?

‘Game of Thrones’ inspires exotic pet cross breed chupacabras

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houstonchupacabraClaude Griffen, from Gotcha Pest Control in Houston, knows ’em when he see ’em.

The mysterious chupacabra sightings plaguing this Texas city, he says, are encounters with weird cross breed pets inspired by television.

Reliable source Disinfo.com reports:

“It was very vicious, very long, longer than a human,” said Claude Griffen from Gotcha Pest control, who was brought into check out the photos. “It was a pretty big animal, very well fed.”

Houston animal control officials said they have heard of people trying to breed dogs that look like so-called direwolves from the TV show Game of Thrones.

Mas…‘Game of Thrones’ inspires exotic pet cross breed chupacabras

From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

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Hey! I took Russki in college. Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле means “corpse of a chupacabra [found] in Venezuela.”

Poor Venezuela. Ever since Commandante Hugo Chavez died, his chosen successor Nicolas Maduro has had to cope with a series of Yanqui plots that are screwing up the economy in his socialist paradise.

First came the toilet paper shortage which Maduro blamed on imperialist sabotage, although he later tried to paint it as an example of his economic successes, claiming Venezuelan shit production had reached record levels, thereby outstripping the papel hygenico supply.

Mas…From Venuezuela: Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле (chupacabra video)

Coon-hunting man kills chupacabra in Pigtown, Mississippi (video)

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WJTV News Channel 12 writes:

(Leake County, MS) A hunter in Leake County killed a mysterious animal in a repurposed chicken-coop on Wednesday morning. Some people in the area say it could be the mythical Chupacabra.

The hairless creature was killed in Pigtown – a community in Lena, Mississippi. Armed with a .22, Matthew Harrell said he was “coon hunting” when he saw the glowing red eyes in the hay.

Continued at WJTV News Channel 12….

Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

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elcucuy(PNS reporting from SEGUIN, TX) A nine-year-old boy killed El Cucuy Tuesday night.

El Cucuy, AKA the Mexican Boogeyman, was pronounced dead at 10:30 PM at the Balli family residence here.  The legendary monster was said to be 521, with a birth date pegged in 1492.

It was a more or less typical evening for the Balli family, according to a Guadalupe County Sheriff’s detective familiar with the case. There was no hint of the trouble to come, he said, “when boy’s parents threatened the perpetrator with El Cucuy if he didn’t brush his teeth before he went to bed.”

The youth, who turned nine July 13, refused, the officer said, so his parents summoned El Cucuy to the modest ranch-style home.

El Cucuy (file photo, above) manifested in the kid’s room around 9:40 PM, according to the investigator, and was killed during a brief firefight by “some type of particle-beam weapon” created by the boy.

The room was “a mess with comic books and plasma everywhere,” he said, and El Cucuy’s remains “looked and smelled like burnt frijoles.”

Mas…Breaking: TX boy, 9, slays Mexican boogeyman El Cucuy, 521

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