Sightings of creatures resembling the legendary chupacabra could mean bad news for area pets, according to KGTV Channel 10 ABC News.
Is this a video of the legendary goat-sucking El Chupacabra – or what’s left of the critter – floating dead in a river in Paraguay?
The decomposed body of a humanoid figure has washed up in a stream in Paraguay – and terrified locals believe it to be mythical vampire-like creature Chupacabra.
The notorious goat sucker is coming to NYC, so watch out!
Why are sightings of El Chupacabra on the rise? KOB 4 Eyewitness News in Albuquerque, New Mexico found an “expert” with an “answer.”
Johnny Depp couldn’t just cop to being a day late to the Japanese press conference. No, this wannabe Tonto had to blame his tardy-ass rudeness on an attack by a cruel and vicious Mexican — El Chupacabra (video, above). And the interpreter and the reporters are all like jajaja WTF but in Japanese. Johnny Depp ≠ Bill Murray in Japan, apparently.
But El Deppo wasn’t the first to blame his own bads on this famous Mexican monster. Here are the Pocho Ocho top things people blame on El Chupacabra:
8. The chupacabra ate my homework … AND MY DOG!
7. Sorry for the mess. A chupacabra went through my dirty clothes hamper and left all my chonies in piles on the floor.
6. But Your Honor! I was just estanding on the corner minding my own business when El Chupacabra ran by and handed me that iPhone 6!
POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal’s new docu-comedy Half Like Me went live on FUSION Thursday night. In this clip, Al meets up at the US-Mexican border with a patriotic member of the Minutemen. Also, Borderlandia looks familiar somehow.
PREVIOUSLY ON HALF LIKE ME:
Barley fields in Texcoco, northeast of Mexico DF, were marked with strange sprawling “crop circles” on Christmas Eve.
Euronews outlet Ruptly described the discovery and name checked “chupakabra” in the headline:
Holy Spaghetti Monster! The cryptozoological mystery of the elusive Mexican Bigfoot has been solved at last, courtesy Mark Anders.
PREVIOUSLY ON CRYPTOZOOLOGY:
The death this week of artist H.R. Giger — best known for the fantastic creatures he created for films like Alien and Species — has unleashed some fascinating speculation about his role in shaping other people’s realities.
Did his creations inspire the descriptions of face-to-face enounters with El Chupacabra?
Prior to 1995, chupacbras were typically described as dog-like creatures, according to one expert. The CryptoZoooNews reports:
Danny Trejo is not so tough when it comes to goats. It’s The Guzman Show!
PREVIOUSLY ON DANNY TREJO AND/OR ARMS OF AN ANGEL:
The mysterious chupacabra sightings plaguing this Texas city, he says, are encounters with weird cross breed pets inspired by television.
“It was very vicious, very long, longer than a human,” said Claude Griffen from Gotcha Pest control, who was brought into check out the photos. “It was a pretty big animal, very well fed.”
That’s the question on the front page of the Bangor Daily News.
It’s not a typo, according JimRomenesko.com:
Mississippi? The chupacabras are strong in this one. W-LOX-TV reports.
PREVIOUSLY ON MISSISSIPPI CHUBACABRA THEATRE:
Hey! I took Russki in college. Труп чупакабры в Венесуэле means “corpse of a chupacabra [found] in Venezuela.”
First came the toilet paper shortage which Maduro blamed on imperialist sabotage, although he later tried to paint it as an example of his economic successes, claiming Venezuelan shit production had reached record levels, thereby outstripping the papel hygenico supply.
WJTV News Channel 12 writes:
(Leake County, MS) A hunter in Leake County killed a mysterious animal in a repurposed chicken-coop on Wednesday morning. Some people in the area say it could be the mythical Chupacabra.
The hairless creature was killed in Pigtown – a community in Lena, Mississippi. Armed with a .22, Matthew Harrell said he was “coon hunting” when he saw the glowing red eyes in the hay.
(PNS reporting from SEGUIN, TX) A nine-year-old boy killed El Cucuy Tuesday night.
El Cucuy, AKA the Mexican Boogeyman, was pronounced dead at 10:30 PM at the Balli family residence here. The legendary monster was said to be 521, with a birth date pegged in 1492.
It was a more or less typical evening for the Balli family, according to a Guadalupe County Sheriff’s detective familiar with the case. There was no hint of the trouble to come, he said, “when boy’s parents threatened the perpetrator with El Cucuy if he didn’t brush his teeth before he went to bed.”
The youth, who turned nine July 13, refused, the officer said, so his parents summoned El Cucuy to the modest ranch-style home.
El Cucuy (file photo, above) manifested in the kid’s room around 9:40 PM, according to the investigator, and was killed during a brief firefight by “some type of particle-beam weapon” created by the boy.
The room was “a mess with comic books and plasma everywhere,” he said, and El Cucuy’s remains “looked and smelled like burnt frijoles.”
Wil and Anne Wheaton consider the correct pronunciation of the word for “chupacabra puppies.” [New to Vine? We are too! Click on the audio speaker icon in the top left corner of the image to hear Wil and Anne. You may have to hover your mouse over some magic spot to make icon appear; we’re not entirely sure.]