Narco corridos are so over! El Chapo has a narco juego (video)


Was it inevitable? Nevertheless, here it is: El Chapo Fat ‘n’ Furious, a new smartphone video game.

We’ll let the creators tell the story:

In a 16-bits graphic vintage style, which perfectly syncs to the shifted-tone gameplay, the player finds himself in the shoes of El Chapo on the day of his escape. As he gets on his bike the mad rush begins!

Mas…Narco corridos are so over! El Chapo has a narco juego (video)

Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has ‘Gone Hollywood’

pennelchapoEl Chapo’s secret meetup with Sean Penn was just the tip of the iceberg, Goldberg, whatever.

The notorious drug lord is a whole new vato now — and here are the Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has “Gone Hollywood”:

8. He’s dating Kate Hudson

7. He’s on an all-cactus juice cleanse to drop weight for the upcoming pilot season

6. He just reached 200k followers on Instagram

Mas…Pocho Ocho Top Ways You Can Tell El Chapo Has ‘Gone Hollywood’

Pocho Ocho top ways El Chapo could escape again

elchapotunnelMexico has recaptured fugitive drug cartel jefe El Chapo Guzman –– who notoriously tunneled out of a high security prison last summer –- but the criminal mastermind isn’t done yet.

Sources tell our correspondents that Guzman’s narcotrafficante associates are already working on plans to bust the gangster out of his next cellblock; we’ve compiled this list of the Pocho Ocho Top Ways El Chapo Could Escape Again:

8. Trained bats

7. Incredible shrinking ray

6. Those gigantor worms from Tremors

Mas…Pocho Ocho top ways El Chapo could escape again

Dear President Donald Trump: Confessions of an Anchor Baby

cucaanchorbabyhistoryJanuary 20, 2017

Dear President Donald Trump:

Now that you’ve become our new emperor, I mean, the 45th President of the United States, I have a confession: I’m an “anchor baby.” Given that you represent the best white hope to “Make America Great Again!” I’m confessing in exchange to be pardoned for my birthright citizenship crime.

Honestly, I didn’t know that being born to Mexican immigrants on work visas violated the law or that pesky little thing called the 14th Amendment of the Constitution. If I would’ve known of your novel interpretation of our Constitution, I mean your Constitution, I would’ve pleaded in my mother’s womb to be aborted.

Oh, I forgot, Republicans don’t believe in abortions. Does the GOP make exceptions for brown fetuses?

Mas…Dear President Donald Trump: Confessions of an Anchor Baby

Pocho Ocho most amazing facts behind El Chapo’s daring escape

elchapomugshotThe daring prison escape of Mexican drug lord El Chapo Guzman Saturday has raised many questions. Why Saturday? Who dug the tunnel? How did they do it? How did they hide?

Here are Pocho Ocho Most Amazing Facts Behind El Chapo’s Escape we’ve unearthed so far:

8. Shoutout to Uber de Mexico for the fast pickup!

7. Strategic rest areas every 200 meters stocked with Red Bull and Takis

6. Extra guys at Home Depot got lucky that day

Mas…Pocho Ocho most amazing facts behind El Chapo’s daring escape

El Chapo Chronicles: Too many Guzmans confuse New Jersey Jews’ news

dudeballoonwrongguzman(PNS reporting from LAKEWOOD, NJ) The story was confusing for the few Ultra-Orthodox Jews who get their world news from The Lakewood Shopper, a free “penny saver” community weekly newspaper published here.

The Shopper mistakenly included a photo of actor Luis Guzman in a story about Mexico’s arrest of drug cartel kingpin Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman.

Mas…El Chapo Chronicles: Too many Guzmans confuse New Jersey Jews’ news