Today’s POCHO Hatemail: You pathetic little burritos are obviously idiots

trumpshairForgive me for the very long message, but oh, you did allow me a lot of room.

Saw the little cartoon you burritos did calling Trump a nazi. All the rubbish aside, it isn't even slightly funny, or amusing, or witty. Just on the strength of the cartoon, you're obviously idiots. But you're also crackpots, and slanderers. And you're really inane and trite too, since it takes about one brain cell to quack that someone's a nazi, and people do it so often, being idiots like yourselves, that it's so unbelievably unoriginal, and pathetic. But that aside, you would have to be absolute scum to call someone a nazi as an insult. Especially someone who has a Jewish daughter. i mean you'd have to be an imbecile, and someone without shame, but also a real scumbag. And your loathsome, cretinous insults are one thing, but it is slander. Slander unless you can prove it. Now if you're going to call someone a nazi, then prove it - because that's what people with some sense of honor do when they make a serious and profoundly negative accusation against someone, they prove it (or they withdraw it).

Mas…Today’s POCHO Hatemail: You pathetic little burritos are obviously idiots

Pocho Ocho top reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald

trumpheadroomAfter POCHO’s Dennis Wilen AKA Comic Saenz finally came clean about his history with UPenn classmate Donald Trump, we’ve learned more about the events that turned a Child of the 60s into the bitter meng he is today.

Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald:

8. Still heartbroken and resentful after the end of a passionate love affair with UPenn boyfriend, Afro-Mexican exchange student Mumia Abu-Fuentes.

7. Childhood backyard “fort” overrun by kids playing “Viet Cong.”

6. Kicked out of Wharton School MEChA for attempted “firing” of Cesar Chavez.

Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald

PNS*Hot*Flash: White House plans new Civil Rights push

(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) President Barack Obama will mark the final day of Black History Month by proposing new civil rights legislation, PNS has learned.

Obama will announce the No, White Girl, You Cannot Touch My Hair Act in a speech in Oklahoma City on Thursday.

POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.

Everything you need to know about ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’

One of the great things about the Interwebs is that you can literally look up almost anything you want. That’s great right? You’d think with that kind of power there would be no stupid people but that’s just not the case. Instead, we have more stupid people now than any point in history. How do I know this? I’m on Twitter a lot.

So, the other day on Twitter, a friend of mine (we’ll call him Jose) started posting about the classic breakdancing film Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. I hadn’t thought about that film in years and he ended up posting a link to the entire film. For the life of me, I could not stop watching it. For one thing, it’s like a nasty car wreck that you just have to look at and like some sorry rubbernecker, I ended up watching the whole thing.

Mas…Everything you need to know about ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’

Dear Abuelita: Sporting man, subway kind of love, these kids today

Dear Abuelita,
The fourth race at Hollywood Park Friday night (mares and fillies, 5 1/2 furlongs, three-year-olds and up) appears very competitive to me, but analysis indicates I should look closely at #7 La Sancha, with 117-pound jockey V. Espinoza holding the reins. Some handicappers maintain that the predicted hot weather points to #5 Onyx Be Good with jockey A. Perez at 112 pounds; the hope is the lighter load will be easier in the heated air. Any thoughts?
A horse is a horse

Dear Exacta mente,
Who do you think I am? Charles Bukowski, or worse your pinche bookie? So you like mares and fillies with 5 1/2 furlongs. I thought waxing was the “in” thing these days.

Well, seeing how you’re looking at La Sancha, it’s safe to say you like the exotic wagers. Smart move, you can kill two ponies with a two-peso quinella and come out quite the stud. Speaking of stud, what say you meet me with your winnings at the Turf Club? Remember to dress “smart casual.” I’ll be in my fancy muumuu.

Mas…Dear Abuelita: Sporting man, subway kind of love, these kids today

What to wear in Monterrey when listening to cumbia and huffing glue

We don’t really know what to say about this, so we’ll let VICE tell the story in this report from Monterrey, MX:

Every Sunday afternoon, after dancing all weekend at bars and clubs around town, a bunch of Mexican Colombianos gather outside the 7-Eleven at the bottom of the Latino Tower in downtown Monterrey. Taking their cues from LA’s cholos and some mythical ideal of tropical Colombia, they wear huge plaid and Hawaiian shirts over the baggiest Dickies you’ve ever seen. These are color-coordinated with their Converse and shoelaces whenever possible (one kid we met rotates four pairs of Chucks with seven different colors of laces) and then topped with a customized baseball cap worn just tight enough that it doesn’t cover their whole head but gingerly rests on their bangs. Every visible inch of hat space is cluttered with airbrushed or embroidered writing, including its wearer’s nickname, his girlfriend’s name, his clique’s name, the radio station he listens to, the neighborhood he’s from, etc.

Mas…What to wear in Monterrey when listening to cumbia and huffing glue

Pocho Ocho new merit badges for Latina Girl Scouts

These Girl Scouts are not in this story

Latina girls are the key to growth for the Girl Scouts,  and the organization needs to shift culturally to accommodate these new scouts.

How do you bring in a new crop of Latina scouts? How about some new Merit Badges?

8. Touting Trenzas.

It may be India María style or Frida Kahlo style, but any good Latina needs to know how to work the hair art. Whether it be one braid or two, a French braid or any other variety.

7.  Masa Mashing.

Scouts need to know how to mash masa around between their hands in a variety of ways. Masa mashing can be the cultural equivalent of chopping, the manner in which masa is mashed alluding to unspoken or subtle feelings, including: anger, happiness, interest, nervousness, etc.

Mas…Pocho Ocho new merit badges for Latina Girl Scouts