Mas…La Cucaracha Popularity Poll: It’s Joe Biden vs the Bowl Cut
‘Rapunzel’ lets down her hair, but not so happily ever after (video)
Colombian artist Juan Pablo Machado re-tells the fairy tale of Rapunzel, the long-haired blonde maiden imprisoned in a castle tower, but this time, it’s not working out so well for her would-be rescuers.
Music video for Trump: “No way, pendejo, it isn’t gonna happen!”
Video creators Greñudo Productions write that No Way, Pendejo! is “a measured and thoughtful meditation on the 2016 U.S. presidential election.” We’re pretty much in agreement, except we’d characterize the baboso Donald Trump as a “pinche pendejo.” [Editor’s note: A greñudo is a person with unruly, messy, unkempt hair.]
Today’s POCHO Hatemail: You pathetic little burritos are obviously idiots
Forgive me for the very long message, but oh, you did allow me a lot of room.
Saw the little cartoon you burritos did calling Trump a nazi. All the rubbish aside, it isn't even slightly funny, or amusing, or witty. Just on the strength of the cartoon, you're obviously idiots. But you're also crackpots, and slanderers. And you're really inane and trite too, since it takes about one brain cell to quack that someone's a nazi, and people do it so often, being idiots like yourselves, that it's so unbelievably unoriginal, and pathetic. But that aside, you would have to be absolute scum to call someone a nazi as an insult. Especially someone who has a Jewish daughter. i mean you'd have to be an imbecile, and someone without shame, but also a real scumbag. And your loathsome, cretinous insults are one thing, but it is slander. Slander unless you can prove it. Now if you're going to call someone a nazi, then prove it - because that's what people with some sense of honor do when they make a serious and profoundly negative accusation against someone, they prove it (or they withdraw it).
Mas…Today’s POCHO Hatemail: You pathetic little burritos are obviously idiots
Pocho Ocho top reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald
After POCHO’s Dennis Wilen AKA Comic Saenz finally came clean about his history with UPenn classmate Donald Trump, we’ve learned more about the events that turned a Child of the 60s into the bitter meng he is today.
Here are the Pocho Ocho Top Reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald:
8. Still heartbroken and resentful after the end of a passionate love affair with UPenn boyfriend, Afro-Mexican exchange student Mumia Abu-Fuentes.
7. Childhood backyard “fort” overrun by kids playing “Viet Cong.”
6. Kicked out of Wharton School MEChA for attempted “firing” of Cesar Chavez.
Mas…Pocho Ocho top reasons Child of the 60s The Donald is so Donald
Melania Benítez hasn’t cut her hair for 20 years (video)
Melania Benítez hasn’t cut her hair for 20 years and now it’s eight feet long!
La joven hace 20 años que no se lo corta porque dice que una vez que se lo cortó se arrepintió porque según dice no le quedaba bien y desde entonces optó por dejárselo crecer.
PREVIOUSLY ON HAIR::
Mas…Melania Benítez hasn’t cut her hair for 20 years (video)
Jesus Trejo’s combed-over hair is blowin’ in the wind (video)
Long Beach homeboy Jesus Trejo started losing his hair early, so now he has a combover.
Key & Peele: Mr. T has a PSA for you about respect (video)
Kids today need to learn to respect others, and Mr. T explains why.
PREVIOUSLY ON KEY & PEELE:
Mas…Key & Peele: Mr. T has a PSA for you about respect (video)
Mujeres: How to do your hair and makeup like Frida Kahlo (video)
Ooops, we’re being heteronormative with “mujeres” in the headline. Pochas y pochos! You too can have hair and makeup like the esteemed feminist and artist including the iconic monobrow (AKA unibrow) and mustache (AKA bigote.)
PREVIOUSLY ON FRIDA KAHLO:
Mas…Mujeres: How to do your hair and makeup like Frida Kahlo (video)
Negrito: Sometimes you feel like an Afro, sometimes you don’t (video)
In Mexico, Grupo Bimbo’s Negrito brand chocolate candy bars are delicious AND good for your hair! All sales final. Hoodie not included.
Inca round-up of vicuña to gather ‘The Gold of the Andes’ (video)
In the high desert of the Peruvian Andes, the descendants of the Inca form a human chain to perform the Chaccu, the ritual round-up and shearing of the wild vicuña.
PNS*Hot*Flash: White House plans new Civil Rights push
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) President Barack Obama will mark the final day of Black History Month by proposing new civil rights legislation, PNS has learned.
Obama will announce the No, White Girl, You Cannot Touch My Hair Act in a speech in Oklahoma City on Thursday.
POCHO ÑEWS SERVICE PNS IS A WHOLLY-FICTITIOUS SUBSIDIARY OF POCHISMO INC., A CALIFORNIA CORPORATION, WHO IS A PERSON ACCORDING TO THE SUPREME COURT. DON’T ASK US, WE JUST WORK HERE.
Al Madrigal: Obama’s new term means a new look for America (video)
The Daily Show’s Al Madrigal was in Washington, D.C. for Bronco Bama‘s second inauguration Monday and tells Jon Stewart about Obama’s new look for America. DISCLAIMER: Madrigal is POCHO’s Migrant Editor.
Everything you need to know about ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’
One of the great things about the Interwebs is that you can literally look up almost anything you want. That’s great right? You’d think with that kind of power there would be no stupid people but that’s just not the case. Instead, we have more stupid people now than any point in history. How do I know this? I’m on Twitter a lot.
So, the other day on Twitter, a friend of mine (we’ll call him Jose) started posting about the classic breakdancing film Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo. I hadn’t thought about that film in years and he ended up posting a link to the entire film. For the life of me, I could not stop watching it. For one thing, it’s like a nasty car wreck that you just have to look at and like some sorry rubbernecker, I ended up watching the whole thing.
Mas…Everything you need to know about ‘Breakin’ 2: Electric Boogaloo’
It’s my quince and I’ll dance if I want to – all sexys invited! (video)
Attention sexy, sixpack guys! It’s Colibritany’s big day and you’re invited:
Hola Sexys!! Quiero invitar a los chambelanes más guapos y galanes a mi fiesta de XV!!! Va a haber de todo, brindis, pastel, cochinita y tamales de caviar, recuerda que debes de llegar puntual. 🙂
(Click on the CC icon for English titles.)
Dear Abuelita: Sporting man, subway kind of love, these kids today
The fourth race at Hollywood Park Friday night (mares and fillies, 5 1/2 furlongs, three-year-olds and up) appears very competitive to me, but analysis indicates I should look closely at #7 La Sancha, with 117-pound jockey V. Espinoza holding the reins. Some handicappers maintain that the predicted hot weather points to #5 Onyx Be Good with jockey A. Perez at 112 pounds; the hope is the lighter load will be easier in the heated air. Any thoughts?
A horse is a horse
Dear Exacta mente,
Who do you think I am? Charles Bukowski, or worse your pinche bookie? So you like mares and fillies with 5 1/2 furlongs. I thought waxing was the “in” thing these days.
Well, seeing how you’re looking at La Sancha, it’s safe to say you like the exotic wagers. Smart move, you can kill two ponies with a two-peso quinella and come out quite the stud. Speaking of stud, what say you meet me with your winnings at the Turf Club? Remember to dress “smart casual.” I’ll be in my fancy muumuu.
Mas…Dear Abuelita: Sporting man, subway kind of love, these kids today
What to wear in Monterrey when listening to cumbia and huffing glue
We don’t really know what to say about this, so we’ll let VICE tell the story in this report from Monterrey, MX:
Every Sunday afternoon, after dancing all weekend at bars and clubs around town, a bunch of Mexican Colombianos gather outside the 7-Eleven at the bottom of the Latino Tower in downtown Monterrey. Taking their cues from LA’s cholos and some mythical ideal of tropical Colombia, they wear huge plaid and Hawaiian shirts over the baggiest Dickies you’ve ever seen. These are color-coordinated with their Converse and shoelaces whenever possible (one kid we met rotates four pairs of Chucks with seven different colors of laces) and then topped with a customized baseball cap worn just tight enough that it doesn’t cover their whole head but gingerly rests on their bangs. Every visible inch of hat space is cluttered with airbrushed or embroidered writing, including its wearer’s nickname, his girlfriend’s name, his clique’s name, the radio station he listens to, the neighborhood he’s from, etc.
Mas…What to wear in Monterrey when listening to cumbia and huffing glue
Pocho Ocho new merit badges for Latina Girl Scouts
Latina girls are the key to growth for the Girl Scouts, and the organization needs to shift culturally to accommodate these new scouts.
How do you bring in a new crop of Latina scouts? How about some new Merit Badges?
8. Touting Trenzas.
It may be India María style or Frida Kahlo style, but any good Latina needs to know how to work the hair art. Whether it be one braid or two, a French braid or any other variety.
7. Masa Mashing.
Scouts need to know how to mash masa around between their hands in a variety of ways. Masa mashing can be the cultural equivalent of chopping, the manner in which masa is mashed alluding to unspoken or subtle feelings, including: anger, happiness, interest, nervousness, etc.