Dear undocumented immigrants: You suck at freeloading

Damn you immigrants and your lecherous burritos!

I  hate undocumented immigrants. I spent most of the holidays on my roof, throwing used cell phones and rusty nine-volt batteries at my undocumented family members as they arrived for festive gatherings. (Tía Lupe should be out of the hospital any day now, and you better believe that ICE will be waiting to cart her away from her children.)

My hatred for the undocumented is normally on a controlled boil. However, after viewing the Racist White Ladies video, my hatred steamed up.

These classy and thoughtful young ladies made me realize that there is much more to hate about undocumented immigrants, especially the fact that they’re always walking around carrying burritos lecherously. Zing! You really nailed them on that one ladies.

How stupid are undocumented immigrants? Well, they can’t even freeload properly!

Mas…Dear undocumented immigrants: You suck at freeloading

Obama immigration officials run out of immigrants to deport, switch to deporting American citizens

In a curious move, the Barack Obama White House is campaigning tirelessly for the Latino  re-election vote while also deporting a record number of undocumented immigrants.

In a mad dash to burnish their law-and-order credentials, Obama officials have deported over a million undocumented immigrants during the past 2 1/2 years and are on track to out-deport the two-term Bush administration’s 1.57 million. In fact, they have deported so many undocumented immigrants they may have depleted the supply.

They have turned to an American resource to fill the void: deporting U.S. citizens. The instances are numerous, and growing:

Mas…Obama immigration officials run out of immigrants to deport, switch to deporting American citizens