Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if someone is a member of ‘LA RAZA’

curiel-trumpcardcarryingYou know that “Mexican Judge,” Gonzalo P. Curiel? He can’t be impartial in the Trump University fraud case because he’s a member of that militant Mexican cabal known as LA RAZA.

And he’s not the only one! After all, you can’t have a conspiracy with only one conspirator, amirite?

There might even be card-carrying members of LA RAZA in your neighborhood, at your job, talking about you in Spanish at the next table over, or ohmygod in your kids’ schools!

Be aware and be prepared, America.

Here are the Pocho Ocho Best Ways to Tell if Someone Is A Member Of LA RAZA:

8. Nopal en la frente

7. MEChA meeting

6. No era penal

Mas…Pocho Ocho best ways to tell if someone is a member of ‘LA RAZA’

Weeping Virgin Mary statue in Fresno draws the faithful (video)

The statue of La Virgen de Guadalupe in Maria Cardena’s living room in the central California city of Fresno appears to weeping, and she thinks it’s a miracle.

Joe Ybarra reports for KFSN:

A statue of the Virgin Mary in Fresno appears to be weeping. The family who owns the statue calls it a miracle and said it’s been happening for a while.

To the faithful, Maria Cardenas said the statue of the Virgin Mary is a blessing. Tears seem to well up in her right eye and stream down her face to her chin.

Cardenas said it’s beautiful the way she looks right now. Every tear, she said, is nothing short of a miracle. So she collects them in a glass and shares them with those who find their way to this home.

Mas…Weeping Virgin Mary statue in Fresno draws the faithful (video)

POCHO Poetry Corner: Chicano Love and Barrio Streets

A rose grows among the cracked sidewalks, of
the tear stained barrio streets, where happiness
is a luxury and can easily be lost forever. While
deep in their thoughts a young Chicano couple
are falling in love.

A painting of the Virgin looks down upon streets
which are so far from heaven, yet not so far away,
from hell. Young men strut like roosters, each
wanting to rule for the day, while their women
willingly look to sell their soul for the poison
which temporarily takes the pain away.

Mas…POCHO Poetry Corner: Chicano Love and Barrio Streets

@SaraChicaD: In Texas, Guadalupe photobombs you (Vine video)

“It’s very Catholic where I was in Texas,” Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón emailed the POCHO Ñewsroom from an undisclosed location in the Lone Star State.

“Mess around and la Virgen gets all up in your grill!” she wrote.

Follow Calderón on Twitter where’s she’s @SaraChicad.

[With these Vine videos you need to click on the speaker icon in the top left corner to hear WTF is happening.]

La Virgen de Guadalupe: ‘I’m too sexy for your cover!’ (toon)

SEXYLUPELa Virgen de Guadalupe’s new Summer 2013 look — as seen on a recent cover of the Santa Fe Reporter — has gotten some people upset. Fox Latino reports:

“If your intent was to in effect slap Catholics across the face, by putting forth this public depiction of Our Lady as a party girl, during the very week that we honor her as our patroness, then I can only say that from my perspective, you succeeded,” wrote the Rev. Adam Lee Ortega y Ortiz, the rector of the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi in Santa Fe, in a letter to the editor. “I must voice my outrage and disgust at the decision to depict Our Lady of Guadalupe in such a demeaning manner. I am personally and professionally insulted by the cover.”

POCHO wants to confess, too! Mea culpa, Padre. We have sinned with some of our recent illustrations, like this one of the Virgin contemplating a pregnancy test:

Mas…La Virgen de Guadalupe: ‘I’m too sexy for your cover!’ (toon)

Breaking: Silicio Barrio startup demos 3D tortilla printer

(PNS reporting from GUANAJUATO, MX) Previously-secret startup MasaTek.com today unveiled a hardware/software combo that uses 3D printing to print corn or flour tortillas with the religious or brand image of your choice.

“The waiting is over!” Carlos Molinero, president of the Silicio Barrio company, told reporters here. “You need Jesus? He’s just a click away. La Virgen is always on deck!”

The WiFi-enabled printer is the size of a small microwave and has a hopper on top for masa. It uses open source 3D software, Molinero said, and is easily addressable with standard CAD tools.

Mas…Breaking: Silicio Barrio startup demos 3D tortilla printer

Spanish art-restoring abuelita expert makes her mark at La Basilica

(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Famed Spanish art-restoring abuelita Cecilia Gimenez has decided to visit La Basilica here, which houses the famed image of La Virgen de Guadalupe.

The fading portrait miraculously appeared on Aztec Indian Juan Diego’s robe 500 years ago.

The image needed some touching up, said Gimenez, who waited until the Basilica closed and somehow pried open the sealed display case and did a quick restoration.

“It looks so much better now,” said Gimenez from the Mexico City jail, adding, “I just don’t know why Jesus would appear to some Indio dressed like a woman.”

Upon seeing the restoration, the Mexican government quickly awarded Gimenez the Aztec Order of the Eagle medal.

Full image here:

Mas…Spanish art-restoring abuelita expert makes her mark at La Basilica