Girl In A Coma, the all-chica metal power trio from Texas, just released this surprisingly pop track One Eyed Fool. Girl in A Coma is sisters Nina (vocals/guitar) and Phanie Diaz (drums) and long-time friend, Jenn Alva (bass). Check it out! And if that’s not enough, we ran a cool video from the band in March.
latina
Blonde Mexican dissident seeks asylum in Chinese restaurant
Rubio was spirited away from his home in a car trunk at noon yesterday by friends who convinced suspicious local gang members the getaway vehicle was sagging the trunk was filled with drogas, one source told PNS.
“Pablo went to the Che Xuan Panda restaurant because to them he looks Mexican,” she said. “We all look Mexican to them. Also the 75 pesos lunch special with soup and egg roll rocks.”
Pocho Ñews Service PNS is a wholly-fictitious subsidiary of Pochismo, Inc., a California corporation, who is a person according to the Supreme Court. Don’t ask us, we just work here.
 
Ñewsweek: Abuelita and the ticking baby clock, no cholo too loco
She needed help — a woman approaching 40 who wanted kids but had no realistic baby daddy in sight. Thankfully, she decided to write Dear Abuelita for advice, who gave her way more guidance than she was expecting.
And in a very special video about Cholo Rescue Services, the gentle strength of The Cholo Whisperer turns a misbehaving cholo loco into a warm companion everyone loves.
These were the stories breaking the ñews on POCHO this week:
Mas…Ñewsweek: Abuelita and the ticking baby clock, no cholo too loco
Stop me if you’ve heard this before, but you’re a Latina? OMFG!
Step right up for ethnic stereotype theater!
Dear Latinas: You are not allowed to make fun of yourselves
In the future, Latinas like Sofia Vergara won’t be able to make fun of themselves on TV shows like SNL because it would be politically incorrect. Oh wait — that’s happening now!
Here’s a Philadelphia blogger’s unfocused anti-Sofia rant we find perplexing:
Mas…Dear Latinas: You are not allowed to make fun of yourselves
Punk pioneer Alice ‘Bag’ Velasquez tells all in ‘Violence Girl’ (videos)
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Alicia Velasquez AKA “Alice Bag” — music scene pioneer in first-wave L.A. punk band The Bags — went on the road this winter to promote her autobiography Violence Girl. After a record store appearance, she answered a few questions for Punk Globe magazine.
Here’s the interview and the “trailer” for her book. Yes, books have trailers. And check out The Bags performance video and the vintage gurl-punk Cholitas footage — all below.
Mas…Punk pioneer Alice ‘Bag’ Velasquez tells all in ‘Violence Girl’ (videos)
Pocho Ocho ways Latinas emasculate Latinos
It can be hard to be a Latina, but it can be even harder to be in love with one. I will admit that I occasionally emasculate my Latino friends, love interests and acquaintances.
Given that Latinos and Latinas alike often contend with issues of machismo, emasculation can sometimes happen by accident. Then again, for the same reasons, it can also happen on purpose. Whatever the case, here’s a list of eight occasions to watch out for:
8. Talking to his mother or female relatives about him.
Although this is a female ritual, it never ceases to cause discomfort.
7. Calling him by Spanish pet names in front of his friends.
He may be your “pedacito de bon bon” when you two are alone, but when you call him these things in front of his friends, somehow it makes him less of a man.
Pocho Ocho stereotypes of the Latino professional
8. You’re always late.
7. You laugh or talk too loudly.
6. You have a short temper.
5. You’re spicy/overly sexual.
Dear Gorton’s: Thanks for the apology but …
Dear Gorton’s Seafood and Rinck Advertising:
I am thrilled to the gills that you took the time to respond. I am a fan of your products, and hope that they reach many more households than mine.
However, your response reveals exactly why you floundered in the first place. You mention that you “used a Spanish translation service,” and that “Spanish-speaking staff members were involved throughout the project.”
You didn’t say that you translated it yourself in-house, or that Spanish-speaking and/or Latino executives (emphasis on executives) oversaw the project.
Instead, it seems like someone internally had the idea to reach out to Latina moms but fish-farmed out the work because you didn’t have the capabilities or experience to do it on your own.
New from Gorton’s: Deliciosos Tits and Fishsticks! (updated)
So, what if I could find tits and fish sticks all in one place? A one-stop shop for all my breast and seafood needs?
This is what’s on my mind today after Gorton’s fun website snafu. They launched a web page for Spanish-speaking Latina moms this week, and left one teeny tiny accent off a fairly important word. They turned mothers and seafood into, well, something a whole lot raunchier than what they probably intended.
Mas…New from Gorton’s: Deliciosos Tits and Fishsticks! (updated)
Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Aphrodisiac Valentine’s Day salsa
I’m Elena Maria Celina Carrillo Martinez de los Angeles Delgadillo Trujillo…Lopez. But you can call me Lencha. Today my son is in his room reading his Naruto muñequito books, so I can chare with you my special recipe for Valentime’s Day.
M’ijo don’t like it when I talk about sexy things because me and his daddy are divorce because his daddy like to stick his weene ebrywhere.
M’ijo usually checks my espelling but oh gwell. Since I have a little gwhile, I give you the recipe for Aphrodisiac Salsa.
‘My Latina grandmother’ — from Elise Roedenbeck (NSFW)
Peruvian-born Elise Roedenbeck is a professional geek by day and a stand-up comedian at night. The slut thing didn’t work out for her.
Justice Sotomayor: Tea, justice and Spanglish on Sesame Street
New Sesame Street video features Supreme Court Justice Sonia Sotomayor serving up Spanglish, tea, and justice in the case of Goldilocks v. Bear. Actually, it’s cafecito, but ‘tea’ makes the headline fit.
Hispanic labor federation backs Romney nomination
(PNS reporting from DIXIE) The Latino Labor Association and Limpiadores Alliance today announced they are backing former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney in advance of Saturday’s South Carolina GOP primary vote.
LALALA president Ed “Big Tiny” Calvados said Romney offers the best hope for Hispanics to achieve the American dream of fame, fortune and greed.
“The choice is obvious,” he said. “Gingrich wants to take our food stamps and ghetto language, Santorum’s trickle-down stinks and Rick Perry’s Tejano tushie will get spanked in the general election.”
“Mitt walks the walk. Take his position on jobs,” he said. “Mitt has eight houses, and if you figure a gardener and a housekeeper in each, that’s almost a dozen and a half gente off the welfare rolls and onto the payroll.”
Sh!t Pocha Girls Say (Video from @SaraChicaD)
When the memes come knocking POCHO starts rocking. Check out this “Sh!t Pocha Girls Say” video from Jessica Braganza and Sara Inés Calderón – it’s safe for work and cleared for fun.
Am I a racist because I want to date Latino guys?
During my seemingly eternal quest for love, I’ve been accused more than once of being “racist” for mostly dating Latinos.
Part of this is totally my fault and the result of my whining and chiflazón. There’s a misunderstanding about what motivates me and other people like me, who are interested primarily in dating other Latinos.
First and foremost, let me say that I have dated mostly pochos like me, but I’ve also dated Cubans, white men, and Asian men, finally coming to the conclusion that all men on this planet are idiots when they are in their 20s. Some of my complaints, which other Latinas share, include: They want to get married too soon, or they’re divorced with kids young, they’re too short, as you become more educated there are less Latinos around you, they’re scared of educated/professional women. The list goes on.
Home from my Mexican holiday, I feel like ‘a bad Mexican’
I spent my two-week New Year’s vacation with family in Mexico. When I got back to L.A. I felt like I had crossed a finish line and, thankfully, made it back safe and sound.
My trip was not really over, though. Everyone at work and in my life was curious. “How was it?” people asked, waiting for me to tell them about my “homeland.”
Which version did they want, the sugar-coated one or the uncensored version? Normally, I would say “It was good. I got to spend quality time with my family and relatives and ate a lot of delicious cheap food!” But that hardly touches the surface.
I know that I am supposed to feel a deep connection, a feeling of being with my people, a sense of being “at home.” But when I am there, I count the days until I come back to the States. I feel like a bad Mexican.
Mas…Home from my Mexican holiday, I feel like ‘a bad Mexican’
SRSLY? Lame-ass pick-up lines of would-be Latino lovers
The first time a man made a sexual advance to me – some random guy on the other side of the street – I was 13. Yes, although I hadn’t even started shaving my legs, I was already trying to figure out how to deal with sexual weirdos. Such tender memories.
If I recall correctly, his exact words, or sounds, were something like “Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh!!!”
Year in Review: JLo needs to fix it again, Tony
You can’t go home again; ask la Señorita Lopez.
JLo’s waxing poetic about her roots and her neighborhood made for a very nice commercial but a not-so-nice commentary about her beloved Bronx.
Jenny-from-the-block’s part in her new commercial was not shot “round the way” but rather on the rough and tumble streets of West Los Angeles (yeah, I know they both look soooo much alike.)
Funny, you don’t look Mexican!
“You don’t look Mexican” is something I hear a lot. I hear it from whites, African-Americans, Asians, Mexican nationals, Latinos from Latin America, just about everyone. Of course, in polite company, I usually respond, “Oh, yeah, I get that a lot.”
In my head, however, I usually think, “What, exactly does is a Mexican ‘supposed’ to look like?” This is, in turn, followed by some expletives.
I find it uncanny that, in 2011 with a country and a world that is increasingly multiracial, that educated people still assume that certain people are “supposed” to look one way or another. Boggles my mind.