Looking to get lucky on ZOOSK? Fill your dating profile with guacamole!

Looking for love with the dating app ZOOSK? That’s why God created aguacates y guacamole! Members with guacamole in their dating profiles got 142% more inbound messages than other would-be lovers.

ZOOSK reports:

“…We analyzed 3,733,185 dating profiles and 364,609,566 first messages to find out how mentioning different foods and food-related phrases changes online daters’ romantic interactions. In addition, we also surveyed over 7,000 singles to get some insight into how food and dating intersect.

Mas…Looking to get lucky on ZOOSK? Fill your dating profile with guacamole!

Woman needs stricter hubby test than ‘not a drunk, won’t beat me’

(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) Sandra Ceballos made a shocking discovery Friday night when she was out with her girlfriends.

The standards she’d been using to find a good husband were, as her friend Jenny put it, “appallingly low.”

Ceballos, whose family is from Mexico, was raised to believe that if a man is not too much of a drunk, works hard, and doesn’t beat you, he’s “good husband material.”

Mas…Woman needs stricter hubby test than ‘not a drunk, won’t beat me’

Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

crossonlawn(PNS reporting from HOUSTON) Sara Maestas placed a two-foot-high cruz on her only son’s lawn early this morning — a cross in remembrance of his latest failed relationship.

The 32-year-old transactional lawyer got dumped Saturday night by his novia, less than 20 minutes after he blew off a dinner date. And now his mother’s white polystyrene cross, adorned with flowers, sits front and center on Benjamin Maestas’ lawn in Montrose.

Just before a scheduled 6 PM Saturday rendezvous at Hugo’s Regional Mexican Cuisine, girlfriend Vicki Gardea got a text from Maestas saying he couldn’t meet due to “a short deadline to close on a shopping center for a multinational client.”

Mas…Mom puts cross on son’s front lawn to mark another failed relationship

Top Tips: Pocho Ocho ways modern Chicanas can get their man

Anyone who has read the Dear Abuelita columns, or dated, knows that it can be a rough world out there. Here we are, beautiful, educated Chicanas, and we can’t seem to bag husbands in time to put a bun in the oven.

What’s a Chicana to do? We came up with a few ways that modern Chicanas can bag a man in no time:

8. Make friends with his mom. That way, she can just order him to go out with you.

7. Get in a fight with his ex. While this may not result in a relationship, it will certainly get his attention, and shit, who doesn’t love to watch girls fight?

6. Flirt with his best friend. Machismo at its finest would not permit a man to see a woman he liked with another vato.

Mas…Top Tips: Pocho Ocho ways modern Chicanas can get their man