Video by Juan, the Mexican Pronunciation Guy.
Yesterday’s Most Pathetic Stereotypes Reimagined for the Digital Age of All our Cyber Tomorrows or Need a Sexy Latina or Bandit for your Animated Video
Next generation digitally-borne stereotypes for millennials and their kids!
Bandits, sexy Latinas, y mucho mas more…ACK!
Does your next CGI animation project need an ugly racist stereotyped Mexican gangster but you’re short on dinero? El Penumbra (The Darkness), a “Mexican Bandito,” can be yours for just $45!
I was there Wednesday, and it evoked many memories of a brilliant career cut short.
Yanet Garcia, the Televisa Monterrey weather hottie, video’d a sexy lingerie photo shoot for men’s magazine H Para Hombres and an Australia bro at UNILAD added NSFW play-by-play commentary including F-bombs.
PREVIOUSLY ON YANET GARCIA:
When two cowboys fight for the favors of sexy Conchita, Chef Gomez’ niece, there’s trouble on the rancho [click on images to enlarge]…
Is that an avocado in your pantalones or are you just happy to see me?
This sci-fi fantasy B-movie trailer is so old-school it’s prehistoric! Pocha pin-up (Jo) Raquel (Tejeda) Welch co-stars in One Million Years B.C.
The Christmas Idol panel of judges is as tough as a grand jury. Santa Claus, Lady Sharoun the Purple, and Jesus H. Christ Himself can make a contestant’s dreams come true or break her heart. Can Shakila (Roberta Valderrama) win them over with her hot hot hot version of Feliz Navidad?
We don’t have everyone’s bra sizes, just the ones we could scrape from BraSizeHunter.com, your Interwebz source for celebrity bra sizes.
Let’s start with the site’s writeup of Brazilian-born Victoria’s Secret supermodel Adriana Lima (photo, above):
…Adriana Lima bra size is obviously one of the most important measures for a model of this type. Adrianna Lima bra size is a perfect 32D, however, there are many speculations if the size is natural. Based on the photos of multiple shoots during her career, the change was quite evident in Adriana Lima bra size, however, the super model claims that her bust is completely natural. Adriana Lima enjoys continuous attention from her fans and keeps receiving massive paychecks for the work that she does.
THE LAST KNOWN ADRIANA LIMA BRA SIZE IS: 32B
Why, hello there, I’m a Latina vagina and I have a message for heterosexual guys. Now I know what you’re going to ask me: “How well-groomed am I?”
No seas cochino! That’s none of your business, that’s personal. But I am here to, uh, talk business because I’m tired of all of these assumptions people make about me!
Mystery of the ages! You won’t believe what this actress and flamenco guitarist said! The one weird phrase that turned a Spanish ingenue into a superstar! I never expected I’d react like this when watching a video from Oprah! When this blonde chica began playing, the audience gasped!
Charo fans: You know you’ve been waiting for this. Was it worth the wait?
Abuelita (Altagracia Guzman) knows her chichis (or “titties” as she calls them) and which bras are best – the padded bra or la flimsy, risqué model.
PREVIOUSLY ON ABUELITA REVIEWS:
We’re not climate scientists but we’re pretty sure it rains a lot more in Mexico than in, say, Saudi Arabia. Here’s why.
PREVIOUSLY ON TELEVISION:
What kind of men’s chonies does your grandma like? Boxers? Briefs? La Flama’s Abuelita has her own opinions.
PREVIOUSLY ON CHONIES:
Given the continued popularity of POCHO’s story on sexy Latinas with sexy feet (Selena Gomez = #1) and our continued coverage of all things hot and spicy, this video featuring Hot Sauce on Naked Feet was a must-publish-on POCHO moment for us. We’re not proud of that and we’re also disappointed Tabasco was as far as this guy goes. And aren’t you supposed to put sauce on someone else’s feet? The Internets are one big ball of confusion. [NSFW adult language.]
It’s on the Internets, so it’s got to be true. Actress and singer Selena Gomez’s “gorgeous, five-star” feet are the most popular celebrity tootsies on wikiFeet, the all feet, all the time website (screen cap).
Here are just two of the photos that got foot star Gomez to the top of the wikiFeet charts:
Feets don’t fail me now! How about some Jessica Alba (tenth most popular) foot action? (Just so you know, “the foot (plural feet) is an anatomical structure found in many vertebrates. It is the terminal portion of a limb which bears weight and allows locomotion,” according to Wikipedia.) OK, back to Jessica Alba:
The Christmas Idol panel of judges is a tough one. Santa Claus, Lady Sharoun the Purple and Jesus H. Christ Himself have power to make a contestant’s dreams come true. Can Shakila (Roberta Valderrama) win them over with her hot hot hot version of Feliz Navidad?
PREVIOUSLY ON ROBERTA VALDERRAMA:
Face it, pochos. You don’t get to be an abuelita unless you know how to dance for a fella!
“If your intent was to in effect slap Catholics across the face, by putting forth this public depiction of Our Lady as a party girl, during the very week that we honor her as our patroness, then I can only say that from my perspective, you succeeded,” wrote the Rev. Adam Lee Ortega y Ortiz, the rector of the Cathedral Basilica of St. Francis of Assisi in Santa Fe, in a letter to the editor. “I must voice my outrage and disgust at the decision to depict Our Lady of Guadalupe in such a demeaning manner. I am personally and professionally insulted by the cover.”
POCHO wants to confess, too! Mea culpa, Padre. We have sinned with some of our recent illustrations, like this one of the Virgin contemplating a pregnancy test:
(PNS reporting from HOLLYWOOD) Hoping to capitalize on the Devious Maids buzz, Fox will jump on the stereotypical Latino programming bandwagon with a new entry this fall called Foxy Farmworkers.
The show will follow a quirky group of “young, single and ready-to-mingle” Mexican farmworkers as they make their way from the impoverished US-Mexico border to fields in Washington, Oregon, Montana, Michigan.
Between backbreaking 14-16 hour days in the sun and working in the fields, the young men manage to get themselves into a world of trouble chasing after petite, white women in the towns they pass through, breaking hearts along the way.
(PNS reporting from EAST LOS) A new web series on Hulu is poised to blow the lid off the unprecedented rise of sexy Latinos currently overrunning East Los Angeles. The series, East Los High, is a riveting expose of the rapid “sexrification” of the historically low-and-slow Chicano community.
“The kids at East Los High are hot, they’re ripped, and they can dance,” said Garfield High School alum Alberto “Sleepy” Gonzalez. “When I drop my kid off at school, it looks like he’s stepping into another country, like Puerto Rico.”
I’m so happy Soy Guapo!. Sing along now, mujeres!
When bringing a strange woman into your home to help raise your children, many things need to be considered. In this episode of Momfidential, mommy bloggers Byrdie and Linden discuss the pros and cons of Latina and Eastern European nannies.
I spent a long time in that store, too. I looked at everything they had — from those bras with the gel to make you look like you have more cleavage to the ones that scrunch your chi-chis together to make you look muy sexy and even considered those itty bitty tangas that would inevitably get lost somewhere in your pompis.
After all that looking around, I wondered: how do these tiny women manage to be so chichonas anyway?
I finally settled on something and went home to make it a special night. I lit sexy cinnamon candles, the kind that smell like churros, put on my new brassiere and waited for Manuelito to come over. Once he got there I was so excited! But, as it turn out, we were both in for a shock.