If you’re hungry in Tampa, FL — and we mean really hungry, king of the jungle hungry — stop by Taco Fusion for lion meat tacos. And camel. And ostrich…
The political conventions are finally over and the poll results are in: Latinos don’t really care.
How can this be!? The Democrats saw the GOP’s Rubio and raised them two Castros!
To help our political friends understand, here are the Pocho Ocho reasons Latino voters were not turned on by the conventions:
8. No piñatas crafted in the opponent’s likeness.
7. No sophisticated flamenco dance numbers performed by kindergarteners.
6. No midgets.
Could it be? Was Presidential future loser Mitt Romney’s campaign so upset with POCHO contributor MexicanMitt Romney‘s Twitter feed that they made the social networking company lock @MexicanMitt in Twitterham Jail just before their candidate’s speech to the GOP convention Thursday?
Although @MexicanMitt’s simultaneous Twitter espeech to the RNC was smuggled out of Twitterham Jail and re-Tweeted by @PochoDotCom, thousands of MM’s “followers” were baffled by the disappearance of the popular account.
Tech journalists are questioning if the censorship was provoked by Romney’s people — who appear to be the only parties who can lodge a complaint with Twitter — and the “coincidental” $120,000 ad purchase on Twitter by the GOP.
We have MexicanMitt’s draft speech to the RNC, the story on the Twitter censorship and @MexicanMitt’s Letter from a Twitterham Jail here — all part of a really big ñewsweek on POCHO:
LETTER FROM A TWITTERHAM JAIL
31 August 2012
My Dear Fellow Twitter Fans:
While confined here in the Twitterham City Jail, I came across your recent statement calling my present activities "unwise and untimely."
Seldom do I pause to answer criticism of my work and ideas.
If I sought to answer all the criticisms that cross my desk, my secretaries would have little time for anything other than such correspondence in the course of the day, and I would have no time for constructive work.
But since I feel that you are men of genuine good will and that your criticisms are sincerely set forth, I want to try to answer your statement in what I hope will be patient and reasonable terms.
Twitter suspended my account for violating the terms outlined in its Parody Account guidelines.
Apparently, someone was misled by my account, which portrays Mitt Romney as a cartoonish Mexican ranchero. This indicates that this person was an estupido idiota pendejo, meaning he is a Republican voter.
I call them my base. Ajua.
Before Mitt Romney was introduced at the Republican National Convention on a Thursday night viewers saw a 10-minute video created to humanize Romney. The video featured the Romney family inside their home several times but in one of the scenes a women who appears to be working for the family in the background was simply ignored.
Is she one of the four housekeepers the reports have alleged Romney is underpaying? It could be, but more importantly some say the video made her invisible.
“As I’m watching Romney’s RNC video spotlighting his family, I find it interesting there is no mention of the woman in the red shirt in the background, who is obviously there helping,” said artist Ramiro Gomez, who’s art looks to start conversations about the labor force that takes care of families and homes.
Video screen capture courtesy Colorlines via Ramiro Gomez.
Tampa, writer Michael Connelly tells To the Point’s Warren Olney, has more steak houses, churches and strip clubs per capita than any other city in America. It’s also a Top Three Destination in the strippers’ circuit Golden Triangle of Los Angeles, Tampa and New York.
- RELATED: Tampa’s gay hookers are very psyched about the Republican National Convention in their town (NSFW video).
(KCRW H/T LAObserved.com)
Here are the Pocho Ocho reasons why:
8. He banks offshore, too
7. Pat Robertson always blames His storms on liberals
6. Funny, you don’t look Jewish!
Of the people, by the people and for the people — except those people?
Mira! The Republican National Convention Drinking Game, sponsored by Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila.
Keep your eyes on the screen, stay alert and react swiftly! Life is chort!
(PNS reporting from VIRGINIA) Rev. Pat Robertson told viewers of his 700 Club last night that Tropical Storm Isaac’s assault on the GOP National Convention in Florida is a warning to sinners.
“You goddam shit-for-brains idiots better pay some goddam attention or our Lord and Savior is gonna whip your sorry asses,” Robertson said. “Do you douchebags really think Our Father Who Art In Heaven will let you get away with this shit?”
“Jesus is cheesed the fuck off!” he told the estimated one million viewers of his Christian Broadcasting Network religious talk show. “Our glorious vengeful God is as angry as a hornet in a henhouse. He’s up in Heaven high, saying, ‘You little pussies, you don’t hate the homos enough! You let ’em get married ‘n’ shit? You are slacking off. I will now drown you. Enjoy the flood, mothafuckas!'”
“I’m talking to you, bitches!” he added.
There’s going to be hot time in Tampa Bay next week when the GOP National Convention rolls into town. Republicans, who like to be seen as “job creators,” are expected to stimulate a long and thick boost in business for area gay prostitutes, and the hookers are looking forward to handling the hanging chads of closeted delegates. (Totally NSFW language.)
Hoping to capitalize on the enormous groundswell of support they’ve generated with their new definitions of life, marriage and assault weapons, the GOP braintrust is planning to premiere a Republican Dictionary at next week’s convention in Tampa, FLA.
We got a brief peek at a draft (the “rape” definition was leaked Monday); check out the Pocho Ocho best definitions:
8. Rape: When a man loves a woman
7. Voting: What white people get to do
6. Minorities: Three-fifths of a person