michelada

tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it. [Mas…]

wokejokeMake tonight’s presidential debate extra especial with the POCHO Debate Drinking Game, sponsored by Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila.

Keep your eyes on the screen, stay alert and react swiftly! Life is chort! [Mas…]


According to video creator Marcelo Martinez, it’s Michelada Time! We’re totally down with that.


Squirt, tequila, grapefruit juice, sangrita (??) all in a plastic bag to go. What could be bad? Here’s a recipe for you pochos at home.

tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo on Thursday. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it. [Mas…]

tiacincoHola! Is Tia Lencha here.

I going to help ju make a new drink for Cinco de Mayo — next week. Is fruity and a virgin. Ju know, with no beers. Get jur mind out of the trash can, cochinos!

I think of the new drink when mijo ask me to taste my watermelons michelada. I think to myself, what if he like it? Will he want to drink beers? I don’t want him to be like mijo’s daddy who drink beers and fall asleep in the tub with his chonies wet with his own pee pee (thas urine for ju pochos). So I make mijo a drink, one that is virgin, and he taste it and he like it, and I taste it and I like it. [Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make Mijo’s favorite Mole Poblano turkey

by TIA LENCHA November 25, 2014 Cultura
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Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad. Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old man for ju pochos). The viejo […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How ju make chilaquiles for the World Cup

by TIA LENCHA July 9, 2014 Cultura
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Hello. Is Tia Lencha here. I haves the World Cup feber. Do ju? Is the feber ju get from watching the World Cups and being so mad at the referees and Holland and wonder who put brujeria on Brazil, that ju want to hit the telebision with a cuchara from the kishen. But I watch […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: How I make turkey in Mole Poblano for mijo

by TIA LENCHA November 25, 2013 Cultura
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Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Sorry I no give ju recetas (recipes for ju pochos) for a gwhile. I was closed like the gobernment. Mijo’s daddy no send the cheques for the mijo support. I mad. Then he go to my house crying because the eskelton eskank he marry left him for another viejo (old […]

[Mas…]

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

by TIA LENCHA May 6, 2013 Cultura
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Oh. Hi. Is Tia Lencha here. Don’t talk loud. My cabeza hurts. Tia Lencha went to a restaurante with mariachis and micheladas and little mini tacos jesterday. She had more micheladas than tacos, and gwell. Is not her fault. The tacos were spensive and the size for the dolls to eat. So she stay at […]

[Mas…]

Around Our Town: Where to go, what to do for the Mayan Apocalypse

by CHALE KNICKERBOCKER, SOCIETY EDITOR December 21, 2012 Doomsday Countdown
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Rancho Pocho and surrounding communities will be alive with excitement tonight as everyone awaits the End of the World As We Know It at midnight local time. Don’t stay at home — party hardy or die Mayan! Here’s what’s going on around town: • FOR THE GENTS: In the Rancho Pocho Downtown Historic District, Club […]

[Mas…]

RNC Drinking Game: Turn lame to LOLs with Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila

by BEANO BERRITAS August 28, 2012 El Now
Thumbnail image for RNC Drinking Game: Turn lame to LOLs with Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila

Endless speeches, stupid roll calls and pointless posturing can make national political convention watching a boring exercise — that’s why you need to play games along with the pinche politicians. Mira! The Republican National Convention Drinking Game, sponsored by Arpaio Viejo™ Tequila. Keep your eyes on the screen, stay alert and react swiftly! Life is […]

[Mas…]