They’re on guard all across Los Angeles — the dedicated officers of L.A. Illegal Canadian Enforcement (LA-ICE) — keeping us safe from the border-crashing Canuckians hordes of the Great White North. In this episode, the LA-ICE team investigates a motorist suspected of Driving While Canadian.
COMIC SAENZ
Forget that ‘Duck’ guy, Steve Yamamoto is a Free Speech Hero (video)
You can exercise your First Amendment rights as a homophobic racist fool on A&E or as an anti-corporate viral video dude on the Internets. You be the judge.
A Chicago employee of the Safeway/Dominick’s supermarket chain (which is closing 72 stores eliminating 6000 jobs) was suspended after he posted this YouTube video — Thanks, Safeway — portraying the store closings as a vicious attack by space aliens.
Steve Yamamoto was suspended Saturday, when he showed up for his last day at work.
Mas…Forget that ‘Duck’ guy, Steve Yamamoto is a Free Speech Hero (video)
‘Pinches UFOS! I’m gonna put this sh*t on YouTube’ (NSFW video)
An anonymous Palacios, TX man and his friends were so stoked by this encounter last month with UFOs that he uploaded his first YouTube video, shot on his cheap-ass Galaxy Note 2 [NSFW language.]
He also reported his encounter to the National UFO Reporting Center:
Mas…‘Pinches UFOS! I’m gonna put this sh*t on YouTube’ (NSFW video)
New Year Ñews: Local man says Obama stole his American Dream
(PNS reporting from EL PASO) Jason Morales finally figured out why his “get up and go” got up and went, he told friends at Hoopy Frood’s on New Year’s Eve, and all clues point to President Barack Obama.
“President Afrika Hussein Bambata is the worst president in this country’s history,” he announced to the teeming North Mesa Street establishment after his fourth Blue Moon with an orange wedge, “and he has robbed me of my chance at the American dream.”
Mas…New Year Ñews: Local man says Obama stole his American Dream
Who will you kiss at the stroke of midnight? (video)
Happy New Year? Ring out the old, ring in the new — who will you be kissing when the clock strikes 12?
‘Happy New Year Baby’ from The Sisters (East Los 1965)
It’s 1965 and big hair and girl groups are all the rage.
In East LA, sisters Rosella, Ersi and Mary Arvizu, who had been singing and playing music together all their lives, thought they had the right stuff to be the next Supremes — even before there were Supremes. They call themselves The Sisters.
Hermes and the ‘Futurama’ crew wish you a Happy Kwanzaa (video)
Culture, food, history, tradition and humanoids from the future join the Kwanzaa party at Hermes’ house.
PREVIOUSLY ON FUTURAMA:
Mas…Hermes and the ‘Futurama’ crew wish you a Happy Kwanzaa (video)
A message on ‘El Contestador (The Answering Machine)’ (NSFW video)
WTF? It’s an old answering machine — a gift from Mom — with a disturbing voicemail message from Abuelita. What to do? [NSFW adult language en Espanish.]
Gustavo Arellano at ASU: The Glories of the Arizona Latino
POCHO amigo Gustavo Arellano (he's the ¡Ask A Mexican! guy and editor of the O.C. Weekly) delivered this keynote speech at Arizona State University's biannual Hispanic Convocation Wednesday. The photo (below) shows him at his day job.
Gracias, Arizona State, for asking me to be this year’s Hispanic Convocation keynote. I’m sure it’s a mercy offering to UCLA, after your Sun Devils demolished my Bruins this year in football. No hard feelings–hey, at least we both kicked the nalgas of USC this season, right?
When I announced that I was giving a speech here today, congratulations came from across the country. But also invading my inbox were the inevitable insults–not toward me, but toward the state of Arizona. “Don’t forget to take your papers!” was the most obvious dig. “Watch out for Sheriff Arpaio!” was another one–that one I took to heart, because he did have my former bosses at the New Times arrested a couple of years back. But the slams that I found especially egregious were those that insisted I shouldn’t bother coming to this so-called evil estado in the first place.
Mas…Gustavo Arellano at ASU: The Glories of the Arizona Latino
They told Stevie Wonder he was in Brazil (video)
The Girl from Ipanema is watching Stevie Wonder.
Mexican legislator strips to protest PEMEX legislation (video)
The plan to end the government-owned PEMEX oil monopoly got Mexican congressman Antonio Garcia Conejo, a member of the leftist Democratic Revolution Party, so angry he needed to strip to his chonies to get his point across.
PREVIOUSLY ON PEMEX:
Mas…Mexican legislator strips to protest PEMEX legislation (video)
Uruguay gets high with a little help from the law (video)
Marijuana has been legalized in Uruguay. Let the stoner hidden camera video hijinks begin!
PREVIOUSLY ON MARIJUANA:
Mas…Uruguay gets high with a little help from the law (video)
Everyday racist bullsh*t (AKA ‘racial microaggressions’) [photos]
Fordham student Kiyun asked her school friends to “write down an instance of racial microaggression they have faced,” then she took their photos.
Here are (what may be/could be/possibly look like) four of the “Latino” photos [click to enlarge.] The rest are here and here.
Mas…Everyday racist bullsh*t (AKA ‘racial microaggressions’) [photos]
Latino Stereotypes 101: Arsenio Hall and Felipe Esparza (video)
Arsenio Hall and (Last Comic Standing) Felipe Esparza head to Santee Alley in L.A.’s Garment Fashion District to see if they can pin down some Latino stereotypes. Hot sauce, Home Depot and “No hablo ingles” here we come!
PREVIOUSLY ON ARSENIO:
Mas…Latino Stereotypes 101: Arsenio Hall and Felipe Esparza (video)
@SaraChicaD’s Virgen de Guadalupe nail art (video)
POCHO Subcommandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón (@SaraChicaD on the Twitter) is like a Virgen, manicured for the very first time. She calls her video Guadalupe Nail Art – Decoración de Uñas Virgen de Guadalupe. Yes, it is a silent video.
Cuban Reds say Raul Castro-Obama handshake betrayed Revolution
(PNS reporting from HAVANA) El Presidente Comrade Raul Castro’s handshake with imperialist war criminal Barack Obama at the Nelson Mandela memorial service in South Africa was a slap in the face of the workers of the world and a betrayal of Cuba’s Communist Revolution, an old school Communist Bay of Pigs veteran charged Tuesday.
“That handshake marks a Day That Will Live in Infamy,” Ernesto “Little Che” Altacaca, 76, told everyone hanging out at People’s Barbershop #245 on Calle de Los Cadres. “It is like the Hitler-Stalin nonaggression pact (photo, below) combined with a very special episode of Chico and the Man.”
“Did El Presidente demand the Yanqui perro return Guantanamo?” the long-time area resident asked. “No! Did he demand an end to the embargo that has penalized the people for half a century? Nyet! Did he insist Obama recognize the workers’ rights to self determination without capitalist exploitation and immediately send six dozen complete gasket sets for 1954 Chrysler New Yorkers? No way! And what about Pete Seeger remitting that record business royalty money for the song he stole from the poor people of Guantanamera?”
Mas…Cuban Reds say Raul Castro-Obama handshake betrayed Revolution
All I want for Xmas is a burrito-wrapped baby in a tamal-looking hat
Running out of Christmas gift ideas for the little pochito in your life?
How about doubling down with a Comida Mexicana duo that wraps your baby up like a burrito in a tortilla-colored blanket and keeps his/her cute little cabeza warm with a hat that looks like the corn husk knot that secures tamales?
Bon Vivant Baby has you covered for only $48. [Baby not included.]
PREVIOUSLY ON BURRITO-LOOKING BABIES:
Link via MiBlogEsTuBlog.
Editor’s Note: POCHO Subcomandanta del Ñews Sara Inés Calderón wants to remind you it is one tamal and two tamales; one frijol, two frijoles; one asshol, two assholes, etc.
Thank you Virgen de Guadalupe for helping POCHO break the ñews
The Feast Day of La Virgen de Guadalupe, the Empress of Latin America, celebrated every December 12.
La Virgen has consistently helped POCHO break the ñews – with stories that included Nuestra Señora:
- Religious figures slam Guadalupe as ‘miraculous appearance hog’
- Pocho Ocho ways for a sinner like you to get into heaven
- Spanish art-restoring abuelita expert makes her mark at La Basilica
- Hollywood Spaniards, Puerto Ricans plan ‘ultimate’ Chicano film
- No news is good news? Caption this image, win a prize or something
Visionary behind Doritos Locos Tacos dies at 41 (photos + video)
Todd Mills, who came up with the idea for Doritos Locos Tacos, lost his battle with cancer on Thanksgiving. The Little Rock, Arkansas father of two was 41 (photo, above.)
Mills started the Facebook page “Taco Shells from Doritos Movement” in 2009, encouraging followers to “tell Frito-Lay that we demand nacho cheesy taco shells!”
On the page, Mills posted photoshopped images of well known figures including Albert Einstein with a cheesy taco shell in a thought bubble, Steve Jobs holding a Macbook with a cheesy taco shell on the screen and Chuck Norris doing a karate kick while holding a cheesy taco shell….
Mas…Visionary behind Doritos Locos Tacos dies at 41 (photos + video)
Send Satan back to Hell with Exorcista ’81 — from Canada! (photo)
Get rid of the Satanic Pac Man in your feet with this ugly new shoe collection from a Wonder Woman-looking ɆxøɍȼɨsŧȺ — blue energy dots and pea soup vomit not included. Not to mention Canada. Actually, we have no idea what this old advertisement is about. Do you?
Haters Gonna Hate: Big map of racist/hateful Tweets (infographic)
The infographic map-heads at FloatingSheep.org analyzed geo-tagged Tweets from one week in November last year to generate a hate map of the U.S.
Surprise, surprise — the Old Confederacy had the most haters when slurs about Latinos (Tweets using the word “wetback” and “spick”), African-Americans (“nigger”), Asians (“chink,” “gook”) were tallied (pan-racist map, above.) [Click maps to enlarge.]
Here’s the breakdown of “wetback” Tweets:
Mas…Haters Gonna Hate: Big map of racist/hateful Tweets (infographic)
Ecuador’s Swing Original Monks party in ‘Fiesta Popular’ (video)
This is how they party in Quito, Ecuador. Clowns, luchadores, stilt-walkers, magicians, fireworks and music all get screen time in Swing Original Monks’ Fiesta Popular.
Real Estate for Sale: New Mexico adobe casita best offer > $3000
Tired of the hassles of cleaning, maintaining (not to mention paying for) a big apartment, condo or home?
Looking for a just-built energy-efficient, traditionally-styled Aztlan adobe?
Getting back to basics is easy with this lovely Abiquiu, NM property which offers 86 square feet of solar-powered living space away from the noise, crime and confusion of urban life.
Owner-builder Samuel Gray explains:
Mas…Real Estate for Sale: New Mexico adobe casita best offer > $3000
Video: Before there was ‘Gravity,’ there was ‘Gravedad’ [1966]
Coincidence? Copyright violation? The blockbuster film Gravity – with Sandra Bullock and George Clooney – may not be as original as we’ve been led to believe. Check out the 1966 trailer for the Mexican movie Gravedad.
OK City police bomb squad X-rays burrito, decides it’s safe
A potentially dangerous burrito put the bomb squad of the Oklahoma City police on alert last week. NewsOK has the story:
A man brought a Thermos-type container into the Santa Fe Briefing Station, 9000 S Santa Fe Ave., on Thursday afternoon. The man said he found the container on his lawn and noticed tinfoil showing out of the lid, police Capt. Dexter Nelson said.
Officers told the man to leave the container outside and the police bomb squad X-rayed the item, Nelson said.
Authorities were cautious of the item because of how heavy the container was and the tinfoil protruding from the lid.
The suspicious thermos payload turned out to be a burrito, Nelson said.
Mas…OK City police bomb squad X-rays burrito, decides it’s safe
Aamer Rahman: What’s the deal with white people? (video)
Australian comic Aamer Rahman — half of Fear of A Brown Planet — discusses the pitfalls of trying to joke about race, color and ethnicity.
PREVIOUSLY ON MAKING FUN OF WHITE PEOPLE:
Mas…Aamer Rahman: What’s the deal with white people? (video)
In Madrid, Spain, dog poop steps on you! (video)
Madrid, Spain, had a caca de perro problem, until they started rubbing the dog owners’ faces in it.
PREVIOUSLY ON POCHO PERROS:
LatinoUSA Audio: Al Madrigal and Lalo Alcaraz’ ‘Big Adventure’
POCHO Jefe-in-Chief Lalo Alcaraz and POCHO Migrant Editor Al Madrigal (you may also know him from The Daily Show with Juan Estewart) are thankful for lots of stuff. Al is thankful that his son’s school’s athletic mascot is not racist, Lalo is thankful for his new Bordertown gig with Fox, and POCHO is thankful LatinoUSA with Maria Hinojosa let us share this audio from everyone’s favorite Latinos from the Future!
PREVIOUSLY ON LATINOS FROM THE FUTURE:
Mas…LatinoUSA Audio: Al Madrigal and Lalo Alcaraz’ ‘Big Adventure’
Hurricane Marco Rubio on path of destruction, havoc (video)
Hurricane Marco Rubio is headed up the East Coast, bringing havoc and destruction wherever he makes landfall.
Pocho Ocho secrets of the first Thanksgiving feast
See this painting that is supposed to depict the first Thanksgiving? It’s wrong wrong wrong. What really went on at that epic feast so long ago?
We’ve got eight things right here:
8. The frozen string beans in the casserole were past their sell-by date
7. Pilgrim Zephaniah Winslow = silent but deadly
6. Squanto’s succotash was really takeout from Naco Bell