Willie the Chihuahua does not like baths.
COMIC SAENZ
Breaking: San Diego firm offers Thailand plastic surgery tours
(PNS reporting from SAN DIEGO) Horton District travel agency Mad Mad World Tours is now offering a new cosmetic surgery/tour package featuring makeovers in beautiful Thailand, the company announced today.
The tours, organized in partnership with the Bod Thai Clinic of Bangkok, Thailand, promise an all-expenses-paid two-week luxury trip to the southeast Asian country and a procedure called a frental nopalectomy. The forehead surgery promotion targets upscale Mexican-Americans.
Mas…Breaking: San Diego firm offers Thailand plastic surgery tours
Pocha Playmate of the Year speaks Spanish AND American (video)
Playboy’s first Pocha Playmate of the Year, Raquel Pomplun, is bilingual. Hugh Hefner notes (after the one-minute mark) that the Chula Vista, CA native speaks both Spanish and “American.” (Totally nonironic video via Brussels, Belgium’s Jewish News One Network. Who knew?)
Mas…Pocha Playmate of the Year speaks Spanish AND American (video)
En Español, MN lawmaker tells why she voted for gay marriage (video)
Minnesota made history Monday as it became the 12th state to OK same-sex marriage. State Senator Patricia Torres Ray addressed her Spanish-speaking constituents from the Senate floor to explain why she voted FOR the measure.
Mas…En Español, MN lawmaker tells why she voted for gay marriage (video)
Los Lobos do it Disney style: ‘Heigh Ho Heigh Ho’ (music video)
Los Lobos, Los Angeles’ best band ever, dipped some pixie dust for this Disney music video from 2009. The group is portrayed by the seven dwarves who add new Spanglish lyrics to Heigh ho heigh ho, it’s off to work we go. Snow White, as white as ever, is the center of attention, dancing to the Lobos beat. In the final exciting scene, a somewhat less-white Prince Charming appears and it looks like he got his hair done by Ritchie Valens. YMMV.
RELATED:
MiJA Weekly’s Elise Roedenbeck joins new TV network in Miami
Many have you have written in and asked about Elise Roedenbeck’s MiJA WEEKLY video series and why it disappeared.
We have good news and bad news. Bad news first: There will be no more MiJA WEEKLY.
The good news? Important people in the Network Television World were so taken with Elise and MiJA WEEKLY that they stole her away from us and moved her to Miami where she is joining the new ABC/Univision TV network FUSION.
Felicidades to our hermana Elise and “break a leg” as we say in eshow business.
True text message stories: When beans attack (photos)
You have something you want to buy or sell.
You post your cellphone number on Craigslist or you print a flyer with those little tear-off phone number strips.
What could possibly go wrong?
Haters gonna hate! You Only Live Once: ‘Do Or Die’ (music video)
POCHO ALERT: Some of THOSE PEOPLE are hatin’ on Mexicore!
From heavy metal music site MetalInjection.net:
Yes, There Is A Mexicore Band Called YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE #YOLO (And The Singer Auditioned For AMERICAN IDOL) Just when I was getting really excited that a shitstain the likes of Attack Attack! broke up, Los Angeles’ You Only Live Once had to shit over my parade. MetalSucks by way of StuffYouWillHate alerted me to this atrocity and they mix pop-punk melodies with growl vocals. WHYYY?! JUST PICK ONE! I realize this assertion makes me sound old, and not “with it” but sometimes I feel it’s best to leave certain styles separate. I mean listen to this:
Mas…Haters gonna hate! You Only Live Once: ‘Do Or Die’ (music video)
Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants
Do you have trouble growing a big bigote?
Are you follicle-challenged in the upper liply region?
Are you the lone bare-faced boy in a room of full of hirsute hombres?
Let’s talk turkey, carnal.
We mean Turkey with capital T that rhymes with “pee.” OK, maybe that’s a bad example. But Turkey, the sick man of Europe, may have the ‘stache you’ve been looking for.
The Wall Street Journal reports:
Mas…Are you bigote-challenged? Try Turkey for mustache transplants
BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia
Colombian police have arrested three women dressed as nuns who were trying to smuggle six kilos (13.1 pounds) of cocaine hidden under their habits. The trio was popped as they were passing through the Colombian Island of San Andres – a notorious drug-trafficking route. The fake nuns were searched after police saw them acting suspiciously.
Mas…BBC Video: ‘Nuns’ with nasty coke habits busted in Colombia
Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)
“Really big testicles.” Where have we heard that lately? Oh, yes the songified stylings of Cleveland’s Charles Ramsey, describing his neighbor the alleged kidnapper. But have we SEEN really big testicles? No, we have not, until the Internet angels brought us these photos of Senhor Testiculo, who is the mascot of the AAPEC Brazilian cancer society.
We have some more photos below and then a link to the photo gallery at the society. There’s also a special link to a news story about a guy who just had surgery to deal with his 134-pound scrotum. No photos of that, though. That would be gross.
Mas…Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)
Animated music videos, contrast and compare: Sine wave vs Coltrane
Oscillate is a new video by New York animator Daniel Sierra. Sierra says the project was an attempt “to visualize waveform patterns that evolve from the fundamental sine wave to more complex patterns, creating a mesmerizing audio-visual experience in which sight and sound work in unison.”
Mas…Animated music videos, contrast and compare: Sine wave vs Coltrane
The Daily Show unmasks ‘The Real Cinco de Mayo’ (video)
Jessica Williams goes to Dallas, Tejas, so she can report on the real Cinco de Mayo for Jon Stewart’s The Daily Show.
Cleveland hero Charles Ramsey’s story: Dead Giveaway (music video)
The Cleveland man who helped the escaped kidnapping victims, Charles Ramsey, says his accused neighbor must have had really big testicles. “We ate ribs with that dude, but we didn’t have a clue!” he explains. Ain’t nobody got time for that! Songified newscast by schmoyoho.
‘Brown Republican’ Mr. Criminal reveals campaign platform (video)
Brown Republican Mr. Criminal has some serious political ambitions. Painting the White House brown is just the beginning. (NSFW lyrics.)
Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’
(PNS reporting from WASHINGTON, D.C.) America’s observance of Cinco de Mayo on Sunday was the “most dangerous ever” according to a report released here today by the National Institute of Holidays (NIH.)
A record 1378 emergency room visits by gringos failing the “chile challenge” were reported by the group as well as 287 “chancla accidents.”
Mas…Breaking: Sunday’s Cinco de Mayo called ‘most dangerous ever’
When Xenia Rubinos gets going, she’s a ‘Whirlwind’ (music video)
She’s a Puerto Rican-Cuban singing pocha from Connecticut and no one makes music with the intensity she does. Here’s the latest from the astounding Xenia Rubinos — Whirlwind.
It’s Monday! Wake up with Los Punks ‘Five Finger Munchie’ (video)
When the day after Cinco de Mayo is a pinche Monday, you need strong medicine. Dr. POCHO (not a real doctor) recommends you listen to Five Finger Munchie by Los Punks three times loud, or until you feel better. You’re welcome. (NSFW lyrics.)
Lost in translation? German McDonalds ad for mariachi burgers (video)
McDonalds auf Deutschland sells Los Wochos. Huh? What are wochos? That means El Chili con Carne, Chicken Fiesta, Los Beefos and salsa pikante, you dumbkopf. Ach du leiber!
Mas…Lost in translation? German McDonalds ad for mariachi burgers (video)
Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders
(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.
The Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.
Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.
Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.
But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.
Mas…Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders
Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital.
If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by the Lincoln Administration in Washington.
“Oh simon, it was gas,” said one eyewitness rushed from the front by the cavalry. “French General Pepe Le Pew knows he is losing the la guerra and he is desperate. We think it is the deadly gas de brie, which these queseros love.”
Mas…Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla
‘Play Hard’ is the David Guetta music video THEY don’t want you to see
David Guetta’s new Play Hard music video featuring Ne-Yo and Akon is just too much for some politically-correct pendejos including Defender of La Raza Perez Hilton. They be all hatin’ on the jainas licking paletas, the celebration of botas picudas, the firme cholos with tats. We say it has a good beat and it’s easy to dance to. WWFD? What Would Frida Do?
Breaking: Beloved Mexican singer Juan Gabriel comes out
(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) Inspired by NBA basketball star Jason Collins’ recent revelation that he’s gay, beloved Mexican singing star Juan Gabriel will make a special announcement tomorrow, PNS has learned.
An exclusive interview with Balones magazine will feature this stunning quote from Gabriel:
British video shows easy way to solve the ‘illegal immigrant’ problem
“According to government figures, there are over a million illegal immigrants living in the U.K.,” says the video producer. “This 30-second eye opener provides a simple solution and is guaranteed to stop illegal immigrants hiding in your cupboards. Watch it and pass it on.”
You never know when to expect the Camera Escondida (video)
There’s always time for a little bathroom humor.
And the Best TV Meteorologist Award goes to Lisa Hidalgo (video)
lisa7news — AKA Lisa Hidalgo — is cool as a cucumber when the camera goes loco.
So you say you’re a teacher? Hahaha! What do you make? (video)
My mom lit Shabbat candles every Friday night. She always closed her eyes and asked God to bless our grandparents, our parents, our aunts, our uncles, our brothers and sisters, our cousins and our friends. And right in there with friends and families and sisters and cousins she asked God to bless “our beloved teachers.” This video shows why.
Al Madrigal schools Jon Stewart on the George W. Bush Library (video)
The Daily Show’s Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal reports that the new George W. Bush Presidential Library lets you see if you are a better “decider” than the former president. [Disclosure: Al Madrigal is also POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]
LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)
A student at Pratt in New York set up a text-to-speech-to-text loop and the results are amazing and funny. We’ll let Michael Silber explain:
PROCESS
- I recorded the audio of Siri reading a selection of text.
- I placed a call to myself and played the Siri audio recording into my Google Voice voicemail.
- I instructed Siri to read the new Google Voice transcription, including any errors, and recorded a new audio clip.
- I placed a call to myself and played the new Siri audio recording back into my Google Voice voicemail.
— I repeated these steps for 50 iterations.
Mas…LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)
How Gov. Schwarzenegger terminated Mexican alien problems (video)
Following a successful career battling aliens on screen, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected and reelected as Governator of Califas This video looks back at how he handled aliens on the Golden Estate’s border with Mexico in 2007.
The Guzman Show: Tio Lucho discovers el Feosbook (NSFW video)
Life with the Guzman family was already crazy, and then masked uncle Tio Lucho learned about Facebook in his ESL class. Will the Internets ever be the same? (NSFW language.)