COMIC SAENZ 
Interoffice Memo
To: Samantha
From: Tomi
Date: July 12, 2011
Subject: Guess what?
Scott, the new associate, just offered me the executive assistant job. He says we could do a three-month trial. He’s offering $45,000 a year.
What do you think?
Tomi
P.S. Yo mama is so ugly she makes onions cry.
Installation artist Ramiro Gomez — who makes invisible immigrant laborers visible by installing cardboard cutout painted figures around Los Angeles neighborhoods — emailed Tuesday evening:
My newest piece is in front of a home in Bel-Air. I drove around for a while looking for a place that felt right. At first I placed them in front of the Hotel Bel-Air (see below) but the sun was setting fast and it didn’t feel right, so I continued driving down the street and found this house. As I approached this home on Strada Corta Rd. near the Bel-Air Country Club, I was immediately drawn to the colorful spring flowers, the sun shining at the right spot and my instinct was to place them here.
If you could mention that my UCLA Chicano Studies Research Center show “Luxury, Interrupted” closes April 8th I would really appreciate it.
Mas…Flowers that bloom in Bel-Air, tra la, need immigrant gardeners (fotos)
Kelly Miller lives in Bondi, Australia, a suburb of Sydney, famous for Bondi Beach and “bondi blue,” a Steve Jobs iMac color.
Kelly has never been to Mexico and has no “Mexican heritage,” but she wants to visit. In February, she used Facebook to organize a “Made In Mexico” 35th birthday bash that somehow involved Bob Esponja. How did she do as a Mexican wannabe? (Don’t be hatin’ on her for the piñata mishap after all those jello shots.)
Mas…Kelly Miller’s 35th birthday party in Bondi: To Mexico with love (video)
(PNS reporting from ENCINO) San Fernando Valley homeowner Donald Murietta was depressed most of Saturday afternoon after reading the latest issue of The Pennsylvania Gazette, the alumni magazine of the University of Pennsylvania.
Murietta, a 1998 Penn graduate, first turned to the obituary section when the glossy monthly arrived with the 2PM mail delivery, and that’s when his ball-breaking downer began.
News of the February 12 death (a tragic fish-pickling accident in Rochester, NY) of old girlfriend Leslie Sonnenshein (nee Baldwin), Class of 1999, set off a cascade of emotions that started at the top with their intense makeout session at that SAE party after the Princeton game and ended at the bottom with a very public breakup in the Van Pelt Library right before Christmas, which was totally his fault because he fucked that girl Candi.
Hola. Is Tia Lencha here. Today I going to help you make my new faborite taco. The other day I saw my mijo making sonething in the kishen. I so proud. He like to cook like his mama.
I say, “Mijo, what you making?”
He say, “A taco.”
I see that he was using corn tortillas, crumble Oaxaca cheese, scramble eggs, salsa chipotle, and potato ships. I was confuse.
“Mijo, are ju putting ships in the tacos?”
“Yes.”
“Why you do that?”
“I ate one like this at the hipster taco trock” he say, looking like a little mouse that ate all of the cheese in the mouse trap and then runned away.
We’re with Brian: “If life seems jolly rotten, there’s something you’ve forgotten!” Happy Easter from all the Pochodores! (NSFW because they sing “shit.”)
Sing along with these handy lyrics (and guitar chords):
Mas…Life of Brian: ‘Always look on the bright side of life!’ (video + lyrics)
Meet Congressman Don Young, a Republican from Alaska, who just called agricultural laborers who once worked on his father’s ranch “wetbacks.”
In a radio interview Thursday with KRDB this fine American legislator was full of the kind of wisdom that has inspired the deep thoughts of his homegirl, Sarah Palin, and assorted white power NRA-voting posses, militias and tea parties across the U.S. of A.
A three-second clip is at the bottom of this story. Play it here or download it and make it into a ring tone, or an auto-tuned viral meme! Thanks to KRDB for the audio. Oh, and here are the phone numbers for all the Congressman’s offices.
Our new friend Aury Martinez is back with an educational video about the art and craft of eye makeup and its role in maintaining group identity while simultaneously celebrating individual personality, and other deep shit like that. (Totally NSFW language.) Aury’s on Twitter.
(PNS reporting from ALLENTOWN) If you’re a fan of the baseball minor league IronPigs in Pennsylvania’s Lehigh Valley, urine luck next time you catch a home game at Coca-Cola Park in Allentown.
The urinals in the men’s rooms at the stadium now feature pee-powered video game consoles where writing your name as a high scorer is just a zip away.
WPVI Channel 6 Action News in nearby Philadelphia explains:
The screen above the urinal goes into game mode when the user approaches. The games, including alpine skiing, monitor the user’s aim to test their agility and knowledge.
Users will receive their score upon completion, which officials say is an average of over 55 seconds.
Users with high scores will be happy to know that they will be displayed in real-time across various videoboard displays within Coca-Cola Park.
Mas…Pee-powered urinal game consoles make splash at Coca-Cola Park
On assignment to explore the dangers of gun ownership in America for The Daily Show, Senior Latino Correspondent Al Madrigal learns how the regulations on gun silencers are ruining America’s hearing. [Disclosure: Madrigal also serves, albeit reluctantly, as POCHO’s Migrant Editor.]
“This is my draw…. Is a rebel guy that want to be a real portrait, and not a cartoon, but I don’t listen his petition, I only play with him and I bother him. Then my character avenge. | Éste es mi dibujo…. Es un chico rebelde que quiere ser un retrato real, y no una caricatura, pero yo no escucho su petición, solo juego con él y lo molesto. Luego mi personaje se venga.”
— Neyra Reyes
Sarah Silverman is so totally not a racist.
Whatever you think about Jesus, no one can deny he throws an epic party. No loaves nor fishes were harmed in the filming of this new Team Sprit video. Baby, save the next life for me.
Imagine. It’s easy if you try. Please share.
Mexican rockers Molotov have a NSFW message for Frijoleros/Beaners and/or Pinche Gringos:
♫Don’t call me gringo, you fuckin’ beaner♪
♫ Stay on your side of that goddamn river♪
♪ Don’t call me gringo, you beaner♫
♫ No me digas beaner, Mr. Puñetero♪Mas…Molotov: ‘Don’t call me beaner you pinche gringo’ (NSFW video)
On Passover (“Pesach” in Hebrew), los Judios eat “bitter herbs” to remember “the bitterness of slavery in Egypt.” In this video, Hebrew homeboys Jaquann and Luis start out with a sweeter herb and then have to satisfy their munchies with matzo balls. Passover starts Monday night at sundown. (NSFW drugs and language.)
The Premiers were an American garage band in the 1960s, best known for their 1964 hit, Farmer John.
The band was formed in 1962 in San Gabriel, CA by brothers Lawrence Perez (guitar) and John Perez (drums), and neighbors George Delgado (guitar) and Frank Zuniga (bass).
They practiced in the Perez brothers back yard, encouraged by their mother, and soon started drawing crowds to their rehearsals. They were discovered by Billy Cardenas, who managed and produced other Chicano bands in the East Los Angeles area and won the group slots supporting artists such as Johnny “Guitar” Watson and Chris Montez.
Mas…Great pochos in rock history: The Premiers ‘Farmer John’ (video)
She’s so cute, my old country Mexican mom, says Rick Izquieta, but she wants to get on “Feisbuk.” No way, Jose!
Farmworkers showing up at Honduras Congressman Valentin Suárez’ farm near Comayagua last week “found dozens of dead sheep with injuries to their necks. Others had bled to death. Nearly 42 animals were lifeless and another 10 injured,” according to the Inexplicata blog, translating a report from Honduras’ La Prensa:
The cost of each animal is between 1000 and 1,500 lempiras [$50-75]…. Suarez said that the farm’s staff will keep a nocturnal watch in the hopes of finding any clue that may clarify the situation.
Mas…Did chupacabras kill 42 sheep on Honduras congressman’s farm?
BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from BIG BEAR, CA) Emerging from a long weekend “off the fuckin’ grid, dude” spent in an isolated mountain cabin with neither Internet nor cell service, area software programmer Carlos Perez has told friends he is angry he missed the entire Lil Wayne near death episode.
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Area man pissed he never heard of sizzurp
Are your nails ready for Taco Tuesday? Paint them — but don’t bite them, like POCHO’s Sara Inés Calderón.
Mas…It’s Taco Tuesday! Paint your nails – but don’t bite them (photos)
On the Internets, you can be as Chongalicious as you want. (NSFW language.) Bandwidth, tu sabes, expands to fit the waste available.
Let’s settle this gun violence thing once and for all. We need a Free Speech vs Right to Bear Arms shootout…at the United States Constitution Corral.
Self-consciously cool French dudes sure love their iPads, but sometimes, as the mademoiselles know, one must squeeze Le Charmin, or Le Trefle, as they say in France. D’accord, Monsieur Whipple? Or do we have to mansplain it to you?
The twangy surf sound of twin vintage Fender Jazzmaster* guitars, R&B-meets-mariachi horn section, Tex-Mex accordion, a trumpet solo (!) and great vocals by Raul Malo make for a stellar performance by The Mavericks on Austin City Limits. New record, new tour! Gracias a Latin Alternative for the heads up.
* I’m told they could be Jaguars and not Jazzmasters. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
BREAKING ÑEWS: (PNS reporting from THE VATICAN) With the selection of Argentine Cardinal Jorge Bergoglio as Pope “Call Me Don” Francisco I, winds of change are blowing from the Western and Southern Hemispheres to refresh the stale air of Rome.
The first big change, PNS has learned, is the gradual replacement of Latin in church communications and prayers with the more widely-spoken and understood Latino language.
Other expected changes:
Mas…PNS*Hot*Flash: Pope ‘Don’ Francisco I swaps Latino for Latin
Video cameras caught Mexican President Enrique Peña-Nieto resting his eyes Friday during the eulogy for El Commandante Presidente Hugo Chavez delivered by his successor, Nicolas Maduro.
Here’s the video:
Mas…Mexico’s Peña-Nieto rests his eyes at Chavez funeral (photo + video)
Venezuelans are still mourning Commandante El Presidente Hugo Chavez, who the CIA poisoned with cancer, but that doesn’t mean they can’t sing, according to Justin Timberlake.
