Cultura

It’s Not News to Us

Los Master Plus, Mexican hipster music duo, loves pochos

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If you’ve ever wondered what it would be like for a Mexican hipster to remake some of your favorite English-language songs in an alternative cumbia style while wearing hipster mustaches and silver sneakers, you need look no further than Los Master Plus.

I first heard of the Guadalajara duo with their remake of King of Leons’ song, Sex on Fire, Sexo en Fuego, a homemade and tongue-in-cheek music video that makes fun of both hip hop and rock music videos in one fell swoop, last year.

Last week I hung out with El Comanche and Larry Mon at The Conga Room in Downtown Los Angeles.

Mas…Los Master Plus, Mexican hipster music duo, loves pochos

Los Lobos do it Disney style: ‘Heigh Ho Heigh Ho’ (music video)

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Los Lobos, Los Angeles’ best band ever, dipped some pixie dust for this Disney music video from 2009. The group is portrayed by the seven dwarves who add new Spanglish lyrics to Heigh ho heigh ho, it’s off to work we go. Snow White, as white as ever, is the center of attention, dancing to the Lobos beat. In the final exciting scene, a somewhat less-white Prince Charming appears and it looks like he got his hair done by Ritchie Valens. YMMV.

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Haters gonna hate! You Only Live Once: ‘Do Or Die’ (music video)

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POCHO ALERT: Some of THOSE PEOPLE are hatin’ on Mexicore!

From heavy metal music site MetalInjection.net:

Yes, There Is A Mexicore Band Called YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE #YOLO (And The Singer Auditioned For AMERICAN IDOL) Just when I was getting really excited that a shitstain the likes of Attack Attack! broke up, Los Angeles’ You Only Live Once had to shit over my parade. MetalSucks by way of StuffYouWillHate alerted me to this atrocity and they mix pop-punk melodies with growl vocals. WHYYY?! JUST PICK ONE! I realize this assertion makes me sound old, and not “with it” but sometimes I feel it’s best to leave certain styles separate. I mean listen to this:

Mas…Haters gonna hate! You Only Live Once: ‘Do Or Die’ (music video)

How many generations until Latinos become ‘Americans’?

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I consider myself Latina, close to my family’s Mexican culture; I’m bilingual and I’m happy with that identity. But, more often than not, it seems like everyone else is trying to corral me into some other identity, telling me that mine is not sufficient.

The neighborhood where I live (photos, above) is a perfect example.

It’s split in two: one part of it is gentrifying rapidly, and the other is filled with Mexican and many immigrant families. I where it’s more Mexican, which makes me — in all my professional hipster-ness — stand out sometimes, but people still speak to me in Spanish and often I just become part of the scenery. But then there are other times.

Mas…How many generations until Latinos become ‘Americans’?

Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)

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“Really big testicles.” Where have we heard that lately? Oh, yes the songified stylings of Cleveland’s Charles Ramsey, describing his neighbor the alleged kidnapper. But have we SEEN really big testicles? No, we have not, until the Internet angels brought us these photos of Senhor Testiculo, who is the mascot of the AAPEC Brazilian cancer society.

We have some more photos below and then a link to the photo gallery at the society. There’s also a special link to a news story about a guy who just had surgery to deal with his 134-pound scrotum. No photos of that, though. That would be gross.

Mas…Call me ‘Mr. Balls’ — I’m Brazil’s testicular cancer mascot (photos)

PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

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(PNS reporting from LONDON) Downton Abbey executive producer Gareth Neame said today that newcomer Gary Coleman’s addition to the British show “will bring interesting twists to the drama.” The cute-as-a-button actor has most recently been seen in various American sitcoms and reality programs.

His Downton character, Arnold Jackson, is described as “a charming and charismatic” young man. The long-awaited addition marks the first time Downton has had an adorable black character.

Mas…PBS ‘Downton Abbey’ series adds first adorable black character

@Chicano_Soul’s photographs ride lower and slower

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I don’t consider myself a photographer but I do enjoy walking through car shows, up and down the aisles admiring the bombs, lowriders and classics and snapping a few pix while I’m there.

I photograph the rides and sometimes their owners standing beside them. I started off using the camera on my Samsung phone but it’s 3.15 megapixels proved to fall way short when I decided to try to print the images.

Compliments from friends family and Instagram followers convinced me it was time to upgrade to a real camera and take my hobby to the next level.

I began dragging my wife and kids to as many car shows as I could find and then getting home, going through the camera roll to see that day’s catch.

Mas…@Chicano_Soul’s photographs ride lower and slower

Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

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Oh. Hi. Is Tia Lencha here. Don’t talk loud. My cabeza hurts.

Tia Lencha went to a restaurante with mariachis and micheladas and little mini tacos jesterday. She had more micheladas than tacos, and gwell. Is not her fault. The tacos were spensive and the size for the dolls to eat.

So she stay at home putting ice on her cabeza, drinking the water and seeing the Food Network on the TV. And ju know what? They try to be Mexican for Cinco de Mayo.

The first thing I notice is the Cacique cheese commercial a million times. Not estrange except that the voice of an Americano says to go “awtenteeco” like they are translating for all the gringos. Then what’s his name (Aaron Sancho?) from the eshow Chopped appear and shows food and then says all the words in espanish right.

Mas…Tia Lencha’s Cocina: Food Network goes ‘Mexican’ for Cinco de Mayo

I was a DREAMer before it was cool — and I got deported

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The immigrant rights movement has reached one of the most important milestones of the last two decades. Finally, politicians are responding to the demands of advocates asking to reform a broken immigration system that has marginalized millions of undocumented immigrants.

We see this in the form of Senate Bill 744 proposed by the Bipartisan Senate Coalition referred to as the “Gang-of-Eight” which is by far the most comprehensive piece of legislation we have seen in recent years. Such progress is due to the masses of brave DREAMers (undocumented youth) who came out of the shadows to declare their legal status for the purpose of telling their stories to the American public.

Mas…I was a DREAMer before it was cool — and I got deported

Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

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White folks in sombreros and serapes. Spanglish beer commercials every few minutes. Yup, pretty ridiculous, señor.

I agree with most of my friend Gustavo Arellano’s roiling denunciation of Cinco de Mayo, mas o menos.

He says it’s ridiculous, only serves some limited purposes as far as educating about the evils of Imperialism, or the promotion of self-determination, y todo eso. Battle of Puebla my ear. Sure. OK, guey.

However, I think Gustavo misses one big fat Manuel’s El Tepeyac Hollenbeck Burrito-sized point: We’ve got to celebrate with the holidays we have. Not the holidays we want.

Mas…Here’s what I thinko about Cinco

Happy Inko! Celebrate National Cartoonists Day on Cinco de Mayo

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Happy Inko de Mayo from La Cucaracha!

Yes, today is the day where we celebrate cartoonists, as it is National Cartoonists Day.

Serio, the National Cartoonists Society started this event a few years ago, apparently  because they had no Latino members at the time who might have mentioned May 5 is already Cinco de Mayo, but, hey, I’m glad they ran with it!

So, let’s honor our ink-stained heroes who go back to the drawing table day after day and try to provide you with some laughs, smirks or even a muted chuckle. I am happy to double celebrate on this day, especially as a Chicano cartoonist and avid Battle of Puebla recreator. So throw a few back today (of course I mean espresso, we’re celebrating cartoonists for heaven’s sake!)

I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

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I approach el Cinco de Mayo with excitement and ambivalence.

I learned the history of the Battle of Puebla as the son of proud Mexicans, who happened to be immigrants. The story goes: On the fifth of May 1862, a small Mexican army kicks French butt. Bueno.

My dad and grandmother worked at the Cinco de Mayo restaurant on Pacific Coast Highway in a small L.A. harbor town. My association with the day is food, drink, familia, history, cultura.

Mas…I’m drinking a cerveza and contemplating Cinco de Mayo

WTF? ‘Latina’ magazine picks 30 ‘most iconic’ Latinos on TV

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Boy, these are fun times, huh? Everyone wants to either be Latino or market Latino things. Let’s all Hispanicize!

I mean, just look around! The GOP is embracing Latinos (har, har) and there are products everywhere like Tide Latino, Ford Latino, Clorox Latino, Latino socks, Latino water, Latino sunlight. Hell, there’s even a PETA Latino now! These Hispanic marketeers know no bounds!

Recently, Latina.com named the “30 most iconic Latino TV characters of the past 60 years.”

My only problem with that is their elastic definition of “Latino.” Many of their icon choices are either stereotypes or just plain questionable. They could have named their article “We’re reaching here, so bear with us, and buy some Latino Tide!”

I’ll run down a few of the more questionable picks and let you decide who makes the cut. Are they iconic? Are they Latino? Are they iconic Latinos?? Gasp! You be the judge. And for the love of Latino Jesus, make sure you buy some corporate Latino products while you’re at it.

Mas…WTF? ‘Latina’ magazine picks 30 ‘most iconic’ Latinos on TV

Stone Oak woman claims family spat was due to ‘pura envidia’

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(PNS reporting from SAN ANTONIO) The recent loud family dispute at her home here was due to “pura envidia” on the part of her husband’s people, according to Adelia Lázaro.

“They are just envidiosos because we have worked hard to have this mock-Tudor home in Stone Oak closer to the north side than them,” the San Antonio native and mother of three told PNS.

“They just want what we have and can’t be happy for us!”

Mas…Stone Oak woman claims family spat was due to ‘pura envidia’

Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO) Federales are cleaning up the streets of this southeastern city after a three-day battle between area gangsters and a French gang left 83 locals and 462 gabachos dead.

The  Marseilles gang (“La Eme”) — sent to collect a drug debt allegedly owed by the Puebla-based Ignacio Zaragosa clika (the “Zetas”) — was overwhelmed by the fierce Mexican gangbangers.

Faulty HUMINT (human intelligence) was also a factor.

Based on bogus tips from informants who called themselves “los mentirosos,” which La Eme interpreted as “mentors,” the frogs engaged the enemy at noon. La Eme expected the Zeta sentries to be taking siestas with their sombreros pulled so low they couldn’t see the advancing gunmen. And the close-by burros? The French plan relied on the overhwhelming odor of naturally estanky donkeys to mask the telltale scent of French breath-de-fromage.

But the Zetas were not asleep and those weren’t your mother’s burritos.

Mas…Cartel street battle in Mexico ends in rout of French gang invaders

Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

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(PNS reporting from MEXICO CITY) French invaders fighting indigenous militias in the state of Puebla are using poison gas, according to situation reports circulating here in the capital.

If the reports can be substantiated, it marks a dangerous escalation in the hostilities, and would mean Napoleon III’s troops have “crossed a red line” set by the Lincoln Administration in Washington.

“Oh simon, it was gas,” said one eyewitness rushed from the front by the cavalry. “French General Pepe Le Pew knows he is losing the la guerra and he is desperate. We think it is the deadly gas de brie, which these queseros love.”

Mas…Breaking: Mexican troops say French use poison gas in Puebla

‘Play Hard’ is the David Guetta music video THEY don’t want you to see

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David Guetta’s new Play Hard music video featuring Ne-Yo and Akon is just too much for some politically-correct pendejos including Defender of La Raza Perez Hilton. They be all hatin’ on the jainas licking paletas, the celebration of botas picudas, the firme cholos with tats. We say it has a good beat and it’s easy to dance to. WWFD? What Would Frida Do?

So you say you’re a teacher? Hahaha! What do you make? (video)

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My mom lit Shabbat candles every Friday night. She always closed her eyes and asked God to bless our grandparents, our parents, our aunts, our uncles, our brothers and sisters, our cousins and our friends. And right in there with friends and families and sisters and cousins she asked God to bless “our beloved teachers.” This video shows why.

LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)

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A student at Pratt in New York set up a text-to-speech-to-text loop and the results are amazing and funny. We’ll let Michael Silber explain:

PROCESS

  1. I recorded the audio of Siri reading a selection of text.
  2. I placed a call to myself and played the Siri audio recording into my Google Voice voicemail.
  3. I instructed Siri to read the new Google Voice transcription, including any errors, and recorded a new audio clip.
  4. I placed a call to myself and played the new Siri audio recording back into my Google Voice voicemail.

— I repeated these steps for 50 iterations.

Mas…LOLS: Siri talks to Google Voice who talks to Siri who talks to… (video)

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